Cosmetic surgery DOES affect others

[EmmaDilemma5]

I'm sick of reading people who defend others cosmetic surgery/procedures with;

"it's their body, they can do as they please"

"Each to their own"

"If it makes them feel happier then what's the harm?"

The harm is, that it sets a ridiculous standard that most (usually young women) can't meet naturally and therefore feel pressured to undergo changes to their body to look "good".

It's not a personal decision, because collectively, it's impacting society norms and pressures on people.

I'm not talking about those that truly help people with abnormally different features. I totally get why someone with ears that grow out at 90° may want them pinned back. Or someone with a huge nose may want to reduce it to a more "normal" size. I still hope they'd feel fine in their own skin but get why the majority of people may struggle with largely unusual features.

But I am actually angry sometimes at those that "enhance" normal looks. Lip fillers, tattoo makeup on eyebrows, lips, boob jobs. It seems to me that the majority of women who have these procedures have very normal features before having them and it's just really sad that they feel they need to undergo them to feel ok.

Lip fillers are the worst for me. It's affordable and easy to arrange. I fear my daughter will grow up thinking her lips aren't big enough (if her parents' are anything to go by anyway) because every other person seems to have massive lips and to look beautiful she'll need to pump her face with crap.

When do we say, enough is enough, we don't want the next generation living like this?!

I’m going to sit on the fence.

On the one hand why shouldn’t everyone have equal opportunity to look as beautiful as they can? Why should it be the only the genetically blessed that get a crack of everything beauty brings with it?

On the other hand I see SO much bad work around. There are duck lips, sharpie style eyebrows and Russian lashes everywhere locally. It’s obviously young girls sheeping each other and I suspect there’s also peer pressure to conform.

I haven’t noticed it so much with my older women cohort yet. I suppose a little bit but nothing that’s making me feel like I have to rush out and do the same. Botox can look great but I e seen enough Jack Nicholson eyebrows to terminally put me off.

Yes they are some of the things we can do to make ourselves look good.

You don't have to, we didn't always but it's a choice we have.

So you never dye your hair? Wear a bit of make up? where do you limit wanting to stop peoples autonomy over their own body?

i had my ears pinned back age 10 because it was right for me. I am now nearing 40 and have no desire to have cosmetic procedures beyond the occasional hair dye and sometimes a bit of makeup. That’s what’s right for me but that doesn’t mean it’s right for others.

I think the most important thing is to make the industry more regulated, therefore much safer.

I know 3 people who have had cosmetic surgery and you wouldn't be able to tell, they don't 'dress up' wear make up or look 'done'.

I know others who are against surgery but wear heavy make up, hair extensions, heels everyday and take well over an hour to get ready to leave the house.

Where do you draw the line on what people can choose to do to their bodies?

I’m not sure how I feel about this. Obviously beauty standards exist and are incredibly harmful to the self esteem of especially young and vulnerable women. But at the same time people’s bodies are their own and they can do what they want with them.

You can also just opt out. I haven’t bought make up in years because it’s pointless and I do not care, and I’m not interested in getting shit injected into my face or out of my ass or whatever. If I see a really attractive lady in a lot of makeup I don’t think “oh I should look like that”, I think “she looks pretty”. I think it’s bullshit that it was decided for us that all women are interested in being the most beautiful they can be. I’m very into body neutrality.

I'd also restrict access to most social media and point out that filters, surgery, fillers, botox etc have been used on this celebrity to make them look that way

That is already the case to an extent but needs to be across the board. It's difficult to police when influencers are outside the UK though.

But what's the harm in a surgically enhanced normal, Botox, fillers etc have years of evidence now that they are safe. Things like lip fillers are totally harmless, if you go OTT you look like an idiot for a few months until they break down or you pay the money to have them dissolved. I got my lips done at 20 for the first time and have Botox, its the modern equivalent of a eye brow piercing. I don't know anyone who still tattoos eyebrows it's all HD brows (4-6 weeks) or microblading (18months) no different to drawing them on everyday but saves time.

What we need is more regulation of the industry and restrictions on who can do it.

I'm in my 40s and I've never yet had to draw my eyebrows on. Did I miss a meeting?

I had my eyebrows micro bladed and they’re still with me four years later. THATS the problem with an unregulated system. Unqualified people are doing shit that’s messing up peoples faces. It’s honestly pure luck that they look okay. Her first go when she drew them on with pen was shocking!!!!

Agree. 90% of all these surgical procedures are done on women and girls, and the cultural acceptability of them doesn't change the fact that it's about low self esteem and, very often, surgical self harm.
They often go terribly wrong too.

Yanbu.
I see so many young women with lip fillers now, and it looks awful!
Body shapes, lips, natural features, should never become fashion statements, we’re all different shapes and sizes.

You can remove it with laser or if you get a facial ask for it to be done with a microneedle in that area.

I'm in my 40s and have grey, wiry eyebrows! (Quite suddenly about a year ago)

May you be blessed with your youthful brows for many years!!!!

Meh I get fillers a few times a year to get rid of the wrinkles under my eyes,I feel better about myself and don’t need to wear make up because my skin looks great after I have this done

im honest about it and can’t see how I’m doing anyone any harm.

Thank you! I don't think they're especially youthful, just... normal. The previous poster seemed to imply that women of all ages have to 'draw their eyebrows on everyday'. Even women far younger than you/me.

I can only think of one woman I know who draws her eyebrows on and they look bloody weird 🤔

I'm getting my boobs done in April, my breasts are a whole cup size different so I've been padding for over a decade.
Could I embrace them and learn to love them? Probably.
But the earth won't suddenly stop moving the the surgeon makes the first slice, its my money and I can spend it on something that may actually improve my self esteem

Truthfully, I don’t really care. If I want to have my eyebrows tattooed on because they have never grown back ever since I overplucked them as a teen, I will. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done with the way I look as it has balanced my face back to how it should have looked with natural eyebrows.

I’ve also had my lips filled because I wanted it done, and people can generally never tell that I’ve had it done, especially if I met them after I started having filler. For example, a colleague was recently bemoaning fillers much in the same way you are, going on about how ridiculous they look and that you can always tell; I piped up and said I had had my lips done and she was utterly shocked as she couldn’t tell. I showed her before and after photos and she still couldn’t believe they weren’t my ‘real’ lips. Some fillers do look dreadful but that’s why it’s important to be very choosy about aesthetic practitioners.

Mind your business and look however you want to look. My face doesn’t look tweaked, overfilled or artificial, it just looks normal.

You can't regulate what people can have done, just the practitioner. You seem to want to be able to dictate what's attractive and what's going too far.
@BloodAndFire , a lot of young women who have PCOS have poor hair growth where they want it and want to have thicker brows, likewise anemic etc. So women of all ages are filling out their brows.

Bodily autonomy above all else, always. If someone wants to plump up their lips, lift their boobs, have a tummy tuck, etc then they can crack on with themselves. Their body, their choice and if you don't like it then you're under no obligation to have the same done to you.

Body modification has always existed in some form or another, its human nature to tweak and fiddle. What we should have is tighter controls to make sure that only qualified/accredited people are carrying out these procedures and that ethical screening and pre/post care are offered.

Have a subtle nip and tuck by all means, but looking like a knock-off Barbie with massive duck lips- why aspire to that? It looks hideous!
Young women look so homogeneous now, it’s boring.

Despite all the fillers, Botox and whatever else they've done to their faces, they still look dog rough when they wake up on a morning.
Ever seen pictures of women photographed going to and from court for whatever crime they've committed and seen their insta filtered to hell snap compared to how they look outside court?
It's laughable.

@BloodAndFire it's not about age or greying people draw them on to fill in any gaps to make them look fuller. Microblading and HD brows save the hassle. I'm 32 and don't want any gaps so draw them on.

Eh I’ll do what I like with my face and body. Where do you draw the line? Colouring my hair lasts longer than lip fillers, and both make me feel good.

People are missing the OPs point - she isn't saying bad fillers/procedures are the problem, rather the ubiquitousness of them has impact on how we view what's normal in beauty/features. And the ante is being upped and upped.
Previously a person may have not cared for their thin lips but not paid it much thought, whereas now the less we see thin lips out and about (as a % are being "corrected"), and the more the average lip size increases, the more likely that person is to feel those thin lips are unacceptable and the more likely they are to feel pressure to change them. Where does it stop?
(That said I don't think regulating individuals is the answer)

I think it's really difficult as on the one hand I do think "your body, your choice" but also recognise there is pressure from others doing it. Financially it's quite a burden too.