Cosmetic surgery DOES affect others

[EmmaDilemma5]

I'm sick of reading people who defend others cosmetic surgery/procedures with;

"it's their body, they can do as they please"

"Each to their own"

"If it makes them feel happier then what's the harm?"

The harm is, that it sets a ridiculous standard that most (usually young women) can't meet naturally and therefore feel pressured to undergo changes to their body to look "good".

It's not a personal decision, because collectively, it's impacting society norms and pressures on people.

I'm not talking about those that truly help people with abnormally different features. I totally get why someone with ears that grow out at 90° may want them pinned back. Or someone with a huge nose may want to reduce it to a more "normal" size. I still hope they'd feel fine in their own skin but get why the majority of people may struggle with largely unusual features.

But I am actually angry sometimes at those that "enhance" normal looks. Lip fillers, tattoo makeup on eyebrows, lips, boob jobs. It seems to me that the majority of women who have these procedures have very normal features before having them and it's just really sad that they feel they need to undergo them to feel ok.

Lip fillers are the worst for me. It's affordable and easy to arrange. I fear my daughter will grow up thinking her lips aren't big enough (if her parents' are anything to go by anyway) because every other person seems to have massive lips and to look beautiful she'll need to pump her face with crap.

When do we say, enough is enough, we don't want the next generation living like this?!

I suppose we should ban eyelash extensions because those give an unrealistic expectation on what a woman’s eyelashes should look like.

Also dying my greys..absolutely setting a terrible example for my daughters.

What about a privately paid for breast lift and reduction where the woman is miserable about her giant post breastfeeding breasts - they cause back ache, are very asymmetrical and can’t fit into clothes she likes. They are spreading outwards and getting cysts. None of her favourite jackets and coats fit right. They dominate every outfit I wear.

is this ok to proceed with? I’m 45 by the way.

I think photo filters have a lot to answer for.

We all know that they're used to create a "perfect" image but it sends out a message to our young girls, and they feel as if they have to live up to these unattainable standards.

They just see the airbrushed, perfect photos on social media - and of course in real life, there is acne under the makeup, the odd wobbly bit, cellulite, small eyes, frizzy hair etc etc. All the imperfections which are totally normal.

I'm particularly angry that people like Kim Kardashian use filters when selling their make-up. It feels morally wrong that you can mis-represent the effects you can get by using a filter.

No one has natural photos any more. They're all filtered to fuck. I really and truly do think it's sad. And I think it has a really damaging effect on wider society, leading to more women feeling as if they have to have fillers/Botox etc.

I had baby botox recently and am thrilled with the fact that I look just like me again but without the angry 11s. I have filler once a year to get rid of the awful deep lip lines too, they don’t make my lips any bigger.

Both of these things don’t change my actual appearance just make me feel a million times better so worth every penny.

I do think that inflated lips, huge eyelashes, marker eyebrows and shiny foreheads do look pretty silly but we’ve always modified appearance throughout history and even indigenous tribes who don’t have access to instagram do it too. Like every other fashion it will change in time.

Your anger is misplaced. Lack of laws in this area has meant that anyone who does a questionable three day course and access to low quality filler is able to butcher people in their living rooms. Maybe you should be campaigning to make sure proper regulations are in place though sadly i think the genie is out the bottle now.

I would love for practitioners to be regulated much more closely.

Other than that I am absolutely pro bodily autonomy- the alternative is unthinkable

Finally I detest the disgusting way in which people are talking about other women's appearance here whether they have had tweakments / surgery or have stayed au naturel. Why the need to put other people down, are you that desperate for validation that you look better than them?

Personally I feel that if you are a confident self assured and emotionally healthy person, these things won’t bother you. If you have insecurities then they might.. but then it’s time to work on yourself, not blame people who have enhancements.

Everyone saying they've 'never seen it look nice' are just completely unaware of the 90% of cases where they simply haven't noticed it.

The creepy still eyes, the huge mis-shapen lips, bloated cheeks make people look trashy and ridiculous. I concur OP, it's a horrible trendy look and I'm all for false eyelashes, make up and hair dye because they make people look glam, I'm no purist!

Shouldn't the government protect people and, knowing pumping chemicals into your body so unnecessarily isn't a good thing for society, and that the use of these things us getting to be very mainstream, ban it? Or put stricter regulations around it?

It's not up to the government to dictate what personal cosmetic procedures people choose to have. It's up to the government to impose regulations to ensure procedures are safe and have suitable consequences for those who practise illegally.

I think those comparing hair dye and extensions (I don't use either by the way although did dye hair when I was younger) with injectables and major operations are intentionally derailing the issue.

Buying a £6 pack of hair dye and spreading it over my head isn't the same as allowing someone to inject chemicals into my lips. You have the obvious cost difference, but also a heck of a lot more risks with injectables and operations. Risks of cross contamination, allergic reaction, anaesthesia issues, potentially untrained/unregulated practitioners, potential poor results that last. Not to mention the pain.

It just isn't the same.

Does anyone here want their child to be injecting their lips when they're teenage/20s?! Telling you that you won't see them for a few weeks as they'll be recovering from their boob job?

If not, then something needs to change. Because it's becoming accepted as a normal practice that people with thin lips (most of us) should do to look beautiful.

People don't need to change their bodies. Society needs to actually accept people for who they actually are.

It's also questionable, race wise. I have full lips due to my dad not being white (he's mixed). It's not a fashion trend it's my DNA. I will have these lips forever, same as my skin tone, hair texture, skin type, body shape. I don't have the privilege of changing my lips when they go out of fashion.
Same with BBL's. It is beyond offensive that some women turn themselves into crude versions of what they think black women's bodies are like, and then suddenly fashions changed and they go back to being slim white women again.
For reference, see Kardashians.

I agree. I had a boob job 11 years ago. My boobs are a normal size. People don't know unless I tell them.

I think the people that do this kind of stuff totally underestimate the impact on wider society and on children. It is convenient to ignore it, but we all have a personal responsibility to at least model and be an example of 'I am enough as I am'

I have two dds and I would worry about the message I would be sending to them if I did this, they love the natural look and think the blubber lips and frozen faces are ghastly, but it is more than that. It is the general insidious influence on social media and in other places that girls need to be perfect, hair less sexual play things rather than the strong, naturally powerful and confident role models that most of us want to be.

I try my best to be a leading example to my dc by being confident in my own skin, relaxed about my age and focused on what I am achieving and learning rather than the I way I look.

See, part of me thinks the opposite, the more who get it done the more people will realise how ridiculous they look.

I mean seriously, has anyone seen someone with fillers or lip fillers who actually looks better for it in real life? I've seen loads through work and general life and most of the results are awful insomuch as they don't look fully human anymore.

As with what happens in many aspects of fashion, eventually those getting it done will realise that getting work done generally doesn't improve self worth or confidence, and that it doesn't 'improve' them and it'll go out of fashion except those procedures which endure because they do achieve results (breast augmentation being the obvious one here).

I also think the look today is a form of mutilation of women.
It is actually monstrous and women who allow this become parodies of themselves that are mocked and derided.

It is a form of FGM to the face and body.

I have had botox, profilo and filler and I am so much more confident as a result and look far better! I pay a lot for them-on meeting me you would never know unless I told you as I'm sure is the case with many people who have the procedure! I chose to start getting it as I personally didn't want the crows feet or lines across my forehead in my early 30's that I was starting to develop.

I tend to only notice people have had work if the craftsmanship is poor or the person has gone overboard i.e duck lips and cat eyes. My procedures are all carried out by an aesthetics doctor and the procedure is entirely safe with fabulous aftercare. I feel that you are more likely to get terrible results that are noticable to others if you spend £100 on your fillers and go to a beautician instead of a registered medical professional. Even if it looks terrible, it is entirely none of your business what a person chooses to inject in themselves. Does a tiny bit of botox to make you feel more confident make you such a terrible person or completely redundant as a parent, friend, family member? I personally think buying packet hair dye and doing it over the bath in most cases looks far worse than a tiny bit of botox but that's my opinion!

I was thinking about this yesterday, I am SO glad I grew up in the noughties and not now, I felt insecure enough as it was (for no good reason on reflection!) I can't imagine growing up now with the YouTube videos, contorting, eyebrows, hand bags for school bags (wtf?) and that's before you get to the plastic stuff in late teens/early 20s. Makes me relieved I have boys tbh.

Although very grateful for revival of trainers fir EVERYTHING

I am sorry to tell you but other people will absolutely be able to tell you have had work done, they just don't have the heart to tell you. Maybe you think you look better, but I am sure many people won't agree with you.

I wonder what kind of example you are setting your children? Will they be allowed to inject and ruin their faces in their late teens because they have seen you do it? It is a shame.

The NHS should pay for breast reductions as there is a medical need for them. It is better and healthier to have smaller breasts and will save the NHS money in the long run relating to back trouble etc. Breast reductions are not cosmetic.

I mean seriously, has anyone seen someone with fillers or lip fillers who actually looks better for it in real life

Indeed.

And I suspect the sad story of Lesley Ash is enough to put most of us of a certain age having them.

It's one thing having medical treatment with a risk of side effects. You weigh up the pro's and con's. But cosmetic treatment is madness - you will look better for 5 minutes, and risk it going horribly wrong (and it still does go horribly wrong, lip fillers are anything but safe). Quite apart from the unnecessary pain.

How many breast reductions have you had?

Because mine absolutely was in part in cosmetic. Yes they were uncomfortable. But also I could find clothes that I liked to fit both my top and bottom. I couldn’t wear anything remotely low cut with being accused (usually other women) of having my tits out. I am talking a normal v neck top.

I didn’t like how they sagged even though I was early 20s.
I had mine done, mainly, for cosmetic reasons.

Buying a £6 pack of hair dye and spreading it over my head isn't the same as allowing someone to inject chemicals into my lips.

Indeed, because you want the dye and you don't want the filler. Some women want the filler and not the dye. Are there no chemicals in your hair dye? Do you not have to do a patch test to check it's not harmful to you as it is to some people? Are fillers not also temporary?

Why are your preferences for cosmetic enhancement somehow more acceptable than others?

I am sorry to tell you but other people will absolutely be able to tell you have had work done, they just don't have the heart to tell you.

Wow, you know this and you don't even know what that poster looks like! Is there anything you can't do?

Do you really only do things you would be happy for your late teens to do? That’s how you make decisions about yourself?

If I have decide I want a baby, now, should I not, incase my 18 year old daughter decides she wants one as well. I would prefer her not to have kids right now, so I shouldn’t have one either?

Or if you decide you want a tattoo, you shouldn’t incase your kids want one too? Piercings?