Cosmetic surgery DOES affect others

[EmmaDilemma5]

I'm sick of reading people who defend others cosmetic surgery/procedures with;

"it's their body, they can do as they please"

"Each to their own"

"If it makes them feel happier then what's the harm?"

The harm is, that it sets a ridiculous standard that most (usually young women) can't meet naturally and therefore feel pressured to undergo changes to their body to look "good".

It's not a personal decision, because collectively, it's impacting society norms and pressures on people.

I'm not talking about those that truly help people with abnormally different features. I totally get why someone with ears that grow out at 90° may want them pinned back. Or someone with a huge nose may want to reduce it to a more "normal" size. I still hope they'd feel fine in their own skin but get why the majority of people may struggle with largely unusual features.

But I am actually angry sometimes at those that "enhance" normal looks. Lip fillers, tattoo makeup on eyebrows, lips, boob jobs. It seems to me that the majority of women who have these procedures have very normal features before having them and it's just really sad that they feel they need to undergo them to feel ok.

Lip fillers are the worst for me. It's affordable and easy to arrange. I fear my daughter will grow up thinking her lips aren't big enough (if her parents' are anything to go by anyway) because every other person seems to have massive lips and to look beautiful she'll need to pump her face with crap.

When do we say, enough is enough, we don't want the next generation living like this?!

Think I'll join you.

You forgot to mention how by looking so repulsive you're also somehow making other women feel bad about their own appearance, contributing to the high bar for female beauty, encouraging young women to do the same, and despite not looking any younger, giving a false impression of what aging really looks like.
I hope you're proud of yourself.😉

Ok, but is this more about your relationship with your child than you think?

I feel like this is a lot like those parents who feel the need to tell everyone on twitter that their child is quoting Dostoevsky or whoever else when commenting on social issues?

Why would your child equate any kind of cosmetic enhancement with wealth?
especially at six years old.
What does your child hear or see in the home to equate such things?
Something you may need to deal with “in house”

I absolutely get what you’re saying but she’s definitely not heard this from me. She talks about rich/poor quite a lot & the only thing I can put it down to is 1 of my friends (Kay, who I referenced earlier) is the Mum of my DD’s best friends. In fact her 2 friends at school both have very ‘Cheshire wife’ type mums (which is fine, I’m just not!)

Kay & I are absolute opposites - I have high self worth (not in an arrogant way) I am happy & proud of our little modest house. I’m not glam/made-up/botoxed etc…I never ever mention image, money, diets. I live frugally & we spend time outdoors, walking the dog etc.

All my other friends are like me but my little girl really really compares everything to this 1 friend of mine / “mummy, why don’t you wear eyeliner like Kay” - I do darling, I just don’t have false lashes so you can’t see it 🤣

I'm not at the age where I'd benefit from any treatments, but if I do go down that route I won't be listening to anybody who doesn't look at least as good as me (I don't mean natural aesthetics as these are largely luck of the draw, but more whether they actually have a better solution to looking youthful).

It's like the two fat women in my office. They're always commenting on my protein shakes and also how highish fat diets can't be healthy etc but their own methods clearly aren't working for them so why would I pay any notice to their opinions?

Is the implication that if you have an 'angry resting face' that you should then have injectables?

@sunflowersatdawn WTAF - genuine question - what made you think I was implying that?

You could touch the moon with that kind of reach.

My point was people (obtusely) pondering as to why someone would get Botox unless it was to make them look younger.

I also think your comment was absolutely obtuse.

You are being dim on purpose now.

No one said they feel ugly with lines. Just that they look permanently cross.

I get Botox and fat dissolvers but it’s certainly not because I think I’m ugly

LOL

This thread is like Schrödinger’s Botox. Women look hideous with Botox and fillers (to the point their friends recoil in horror) but also they’re so very beautiful they make women who don’t have fillers and Botox feel ugly.

🤦‍♀️😂

It affects me because I’m hearing impaired and lip fillers and some Botox makes it hard to lip read.

the first women I met years ago with top lip filler and botox I couldn’t work out why her lips were making the wrong shapes. Once I’d figured it out (she must have thought me insane focussing on her mouth with a confused expression) I can now spot it a mile off. And unfortunately find it difficult to socialise with those women as conversation is hard.

I agree with you to some extent, but this has always existed. People have always felt inferior long before surgery was common. Take pubic hair for example, how many people now have a Hollywood or Brazillian when that's not even something you have on display 🤷‍♀️

But if people aren't happy then why not change it. Your solution is simply for them to remain unhappy.
Should then people also not go to the gym, shave their legs, wear make up? Where would you draw the line about what's acceptable and what isn't?

But people did care about thin lips since forever. I remember how people used to draw lipliner around the outside of their lips in the 80s, it didn't fool anyone and looked weird!

But if people aren't happy then why not change it.
On this thread the happy smoothed faced people have all gone off in a huff.

💯

Because they’ve had their personal reasoning torn to shreds and been accused of calling other women ugly

Can you move your daughter out of that circle?
I would. Even if it means breaking away from certain friend groups.
Your daughter is making the connection somewhere and at six years old it’s problematic.
Monetary wealth and looks aren’t akin to good people and I’m sure you know this.
It’s horrid that a six year old girl is even noticing this type of narrative and I hope you find a way to let her know that looks aren’t an arbiter of who someone is as a person.
I’ve never been one for social media but I know everything changes because my girl is 20 now.
I often wonder if us watching Keeping up with the Kardashians has fuelled her ideas of “I cannot be seen in the same outfit twice” or if that’s just society influencing her attitude.
It’s very difficult with young women and girls.
I absolutely moved away from others who didn’t provide a good influence to my daughter.
Wether I did that enough remains to be seen.
Wishing you luck and love!

Shaving legs, going to the gym etc is not invasive, permanent or even semi permanent.

my “line” is putting foreign substances into your body and/or any medicalised procedure that can cause harm.

people have died from cosmetic surgery, lipo, teeth. They’ve had severe reactions to fillers.

Have any studies been done on the long term effect of fillers? As in people using them for 10, 20, 30 years? If someone starts at 20, what do they look like at 50?

I've never had to or desired to do any of these things, so that my line too but I don't see why others should be stopped if this is what they want. I'm sure people put all sorts of bad things in their bodies .... smoking, vaping, alcohol, coke, fast food. The list goes on. Should the government ban this too?

Great so they’ll just be forever ugly and with no way to fix it.

Oh dear. That's not what that means 😒🤦‍♀️🤣

Well it wasn’t widely available 15 years ago was it?

For me, I will use Botox when the time comes. And it will definitely be for anti-ageing purposes although microneedling/retinoids/sunscreen all have worked well so far.

I am a bit different than other posters in that I do treatments for anti-ageing purposes. I do not accept that we just have to age as gracefully as we can and just be grateful we’re not dead yet.

But what’s worse is that posters here are seething about what other women do, and then claim their faux-concern is all about the children. I don’t believe that for a moment — you just do not approve of our choices

Eh? I already answered you.

I don’t want her to be friends with these two girls for various reasons (including the ones you say) but I feel all I can do is encourage her to play with the girls that I think are ‘proper kids’ without trying to choose her friends.

I spend a lot of time explaining(& more importantly showing) that big houses, cars & think make-up don’t equate happiness. I show how grateful I am for our lives. I am not sucked in by comparison so I can only
hope that eventually it rubs off. These 2 little girls are just so vacuous & it shows even in photos but I’m tied to them.

it might be my ex being a contributor - he’s very much what’s on the surface & talks about diets (no longer, I’ve asked him to stop) but I can’t control what she hears there.

i have other friends with wonderful kind children that aren’t shallow so I see these friends a lot with her. Also rainbows & other
kids so she gets to see a variety.

thank you for your reply, very true.