Cosmetic surgery DOES affect others

[EmmaDilemma5]

I'm sick of reading people who defend others cosmetic surgery/procedures with;

"it's their body, they can do as they please"

"Each to their own"

"If it makes them feel happier then what's the harm?"

The harm is, that it sets a ridiculous standard that most (usually young women) can't meet naturally and therefore feel pressured to undergo changes to their body to look "good".

It's not a personal decision, because collectively, it's impacting society norms and pressures on people.

I'm not talking about those that truly help people with abnormally different features. I totally get why someone with ears that grow out at 90° may want them pinned back. Or someone with a huge nose may want to reduce it to a more "normal" size. I still hope they'd feel fine in their own skin but get why the majority of people may struggle with largely unusual features.

But I am actually angry sometimes at those that "enhance" normal looks. Lip fillers, tattoo makeup on eyebrows, lips, boob jobs. It seems to me that the majority of women who have these procedures have very normal features before having them and it's just really sad that they feel they need to undergo them to feel ok.

Lip fillers are the worst for me. It's affordable and easy to arrange. I fear my daughter will grow up thinking her lips aren't big enough (if her parents' are anything to go by anyway) because every other person seems to have massive lips and to look beautiful she'll need to pump her face with crap.

When do we say, enough is enough, we don't want the next generation living like this?!

I don't judge individuals for cosmetic surgery but I am surprsied at how pervalent it's become in just a decade. Twenty-somethings getting lip-fillers and botox is now completely normal. I wonder if there'll be a backlash to it among the following generation.

And as so bloody many of us keep saying...we aren't doing this to look younger. We are generally doing it to look less tired and frowny, and a bit fresher.

AKA 'younger'.

I don't care, but call a spade a spade. It's normal to want to look younger.

It’s an aesthetic, some other look will come along to displace it in a few years.

This is a bit different to anti-ageing treatments imo

I'll take one for the team and post a picture of my face, with no make up on. For all the people calling us who have had 'work' done:
Fake
Freaks
Trout pout
Duck lips
Sheen heads
The same as everybody else
Plumped up
Etc etc etc

I have had work done. If it's so 'obvious' to you judgemental lot, please tell me where I've had the work done. If it's so 'obvious' I'll point it out to my MEDICALLY TRAINED practitioner next time and ask her to not make me look like such a freak.

No, less frowny does not mean younger. It means less frowny.

I do not look younger with Botox. I look less frowny. What, do you think "spade" also means "young"?

My God, it's frustrating when so many people ignore what you say and literally change the meaning of words. It's enough to make me up my Botox dose. That's Botox, by the way. Botox does not mean "horse".

I think you are very pretty justfirthebotox. I can still tell you’ve had stuff done. Botox and lips. I wouldn’t describe you as any of those things though. I’d just silently acknowledge the societal pressures women are under, and move on.

Your lips are bulbous and unnatural and your forehead is shiny and flat.
It's very obvious! But if you love that look then thats all that matters.

Your nose looks as if it has been slimmed down.And your lips are blown up. Forhead probably smoothed out. Ok now but what happens in a few years.

Just to confirm, for those below talking about my 'bulbous' lips. I have absolutely ZERO filler in my lips.

And have had no work done to my nose.
Forehead also no Botox there, the 'shiny' forehead will be due to the tinted 'dewy' moisturiser I wear daily. That's as far as my makeup goes.

But thank you - proving my point further, people like you are looking at things that aren't there. (Overfilled lips, which in my face have no filler in whatsoever). Point proven!

I'll cross that bridge in a few years then haha

Thank you. Just to confirm though I don't have any lip filler :)

Sorry to correct my typing error.

I DO have filler in my face, but not in my lips.
(I wish there was an edit button on here.)

@justforthebotoxthread - have you ever had filler in or around your lips? Or any work at all/filler/botox/enhancements below your nose, around your lips?

"Less tired" and "a bit fresher" are pretty obvious synonyms for 'younger'. Why bother pretending otherwise? Is one form of vanity ok while another isn't?

(If you want to really split hairs I'll concede that 'younger' can also mean 'want to stop ageing'.)

I kind of agree, but also think it's ok to do what we want to do to make ourselves feel happy. Otherwise where is the line?

You said the £6 of hair dye was fine.... Why that? I am sad for my ginger daughter that her hair colour is seen as inferior/ ugly (despite being beautiful) and she already talks about wanting to change the colour of it to blonde. Hairdye also contains lots of chemicals. So is a matter of cost? Or the temporary nature of it. Is it a risk thing?

I recently (at 39) had botox for the first time. I felt that my forehead wrinkles made me look at lot older than I am. I went with a very small dose so I still had movement and the doctor who did it told me people with heavy eyelids often have mroe forehead wrinkles as they naturally left their brows more. I still have all my other wrinkles but they seem more fitting for my age. It's made a huge difference to the way that I feel about myself.

So while I don't like the idea of lots of young girls changing their bodies with surgery, nd certainly I hope my DD will have the confidence not to do so, I don't think it's as simple as your OP.

Oh and I disagree. I also have very stong frown lines. I've had them since I was a child. People always commented on how I look worried or angry. They weren't commenting on how old I looked as a child presumably. Botox largely removed them and I think I look more relaxed without them.

I’ve never had anything done

but I went to a wedding of a bride I have known since she was little, she’s always been very beautiful and she is now coming up to 30. I see her photos on Insta and they look stunning.

i went up behind her to congratulate at her wedding and as she turned around I gasped. In reality and not Insta she had a massive face, full of filler, rubbery huge lips and her make up was so thick it almost looked like drag.

I also interviewed someone lately who had such big filled/migrated filler lips she couldn’t speak properly.

I am sad for womankind. I think people can fool themselves it looks really good, especially if they are insecure but very very often they don’t know when to stop and that’s the danger. I watched a documentary about a woman having lip filler and they showed you actually lose all real perspective of how they look after a while and that’s why people end up going too far, to create a look they will never get

Lol at posters insisting they can tell strangers they’ve never met have had work done. Even top plastic surgeons can’t always identify this accurately (think there was a regular feature in a mag where they tried to guess) so not sure why Maureen off mumsnet thinks she can

You look very lovely but there is usually a tell tale ridge/line above the lips which doesn’t occur naturally on natural big lips. This is where the filler has leaked out of the natural lip line. I think it’s almost impossible to stop this happening entirely, I’ve even seen it on celebs and they have really good practitioners. If it keeps migrating you can end up with what looks like a moustache

Also, I got braces recently. Purely cosmetic again. Is that allowed?

@Habber I understand that, I know what line you mean. But that doesn't apply to me as I haven't had my lips filled, so no migration has occurred. I naturally have full / plump lips. So do all the women in my families blood line.

And possibly a bit younger too. ;-)

I also don't like cosmetic surgery for a different reason.

I feel like the struggles that I went through growing up with big lips and being told I look like a clown or do I give BJs age 11, people who get filler didnt go. So in a way they are appropriating big lips as they are in fashion.

The same for breast enlargement. If you grew up with large breasst, struggled in early teens, have backache and had boys taking the piss out of at a young age, you now get to reap the rewards of having big breasts. Someone getting surgery is appropriating big breasts. They didn't have to experience the big breast struggle.

Well yes. I should hope so. But I explained why already.

No they're not, ffs. They mean "less tired" and possibly "better rested", which is the same thing. Or "less angry".

I was 32 when I first had Botox. I looked 32 with horribly deep 11s. After, I looked 32 without the 11s. I'm now 38 and look 38, but without 11s.

Why is this so difficult for you?