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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it time the parents were punished as well when their teenagers murder people.

350 replies

dottypotter · 18/01/2023 16:55

A youth has been found guilty today of stabbing a 53 year old man outside a supermarket in Redditch. Ian Kirwin.
The teenage gang had gone out looking for trouble and stabbed this man after he challenged them about their bad behaviour in a supermarket toilet where they had urinated on the floor and banged loudly on his cubicle door.
When is this thuggish and horrible behaviour going to end?

Isn't it time the parents of these feral teenagers were held to account now?
How can it be nothing to do with them when their offspring are out with knives?
Does anything ever happen to parents of these teenagers?
What happens to other children they may have are they taken away from them?

Aren't they bloody embarrassed that they have raised little shits?
Boils my piss. Nothing ever changes.
You can't even name the teenagers, everything's on the yobbos side?
Isn't it time we asked about the parents and held them partly responsible.
How will it change otherwise?

OP posts:
OriGanOver · 18/01/2023 18:56

God this thread is depressing

Blame it on poor people and their feckless ways 😂

Rich people who bum pigs, burn £50 notes in front of homeless people, do much more cocaine than poor people could ever afford, have their crimes covered up and bribed off - they're okay, they end up running the country. There isn't a huge amount of difference between the classes with youth crime. The difference is that the criminal records poor kids get more than the rich.

LlynTegid · 18/01/2023 18:57

Dysfunctional families are supported by the Tory Party. They elected Boris Johnson as leader.

I'd like to think that making parents accountable would work, but it won't sadly.

Nat6999 · 18/01/2023 18:57

A 17 year old near me raped a disabled woman, he had been trying to sexually assault women & girls from the age of 10, his brother was in ds form at school & brought a knife in to school, he slashed ds backpack amongst other incidents. For 2 boys to behave like this I wonder exactly how their parents brought them up & why they weren't removed.

iCouldSleepForAYear · 18/01/2023 18:58

Oh it didn’t take long did it. It’s not my fault it’s the wicked government. 🙄
When are people going to take some personal responsibility instead of sitting there like a cuckoo in a nest expecting everyone else to sort things out.

You can't take personal responsibility if you can't access the help that you need.

If the government spends over a decade making cuts to important services like health, then you get whole communities left without:

  • CAMHS
  • GP appointments that last longer than 10 minutes
  • GP appointments full stop
  • medication reviews
  • referral to specialist
  • specialist appointment with a wait time of <6-12 months
  • CBT sessions with a wait time of <6-12 months
  • Ed psych reviews where the Ed Psych actually meets with your kid in person, more than once
  • police with enough resources to intervene
  • courts with a backlog of <3 months
  • sentencing guideline reviews
Eyerollcentral · 18/01/2023 18:58

Flapjackquack · 18/01/2023 18:55

@Eyerollcentral - obviously, and then kill them again, just to make sure. That’ll learn them.

Yep, town square, do it right and give the rest of the surviving povs both a lesson and something to look at to keep them off the streets committing more crime. Bring back the Middle Ages, that’s what we want

Flapjackquack · 18/01/2023 18:58

@iCouldSleepForAYear - Quite, only the rich should be able to access help obviously.

theworldhas · 18/01/2023 18:59

But only if local authorities could be prosecuted in all cases where parents had been desperately pleading for help from all manner of services for years and were turned away repeatedly and left to try to manage alone.

But they’re turning people away not because they’d rather be scrolling through their Fb feed, but because they haven’t got the resources/funding. Bottom line - if we want a fairer/gentler society with stronger communities and less social deprivation and violence then the people need to vote for it and fund it. The Tories like to say there’s no magic money tree - equally there’s no magic wand to solving social ills without proper investment in skilled people, infrastructure and facilities.

iklboo · 18/01/2023 19:00

How many teen children have you got OP?

Doubtmyself · 18/01/2023 19:01

dottypotter · 18/01/2023 16:55

A youth has been found guilty today of stabbing a 53 year old man outside a supermarket in Redditch. Ian Kirwin.
The teenage gang had gone out looking for trouble and stabbed this man after he challenged them about their bad behaviour in a supermarket toilet where they had urinated on the floor and banged loudly on his cubicle door.
When is this thuggish and horrible behaviour going to end?

Isn't it time the parents of these feral teenagers were held to account now?
How can it be nothing to do with them when their offspring are out with knives?
Does anything ever happen to parents of these teenagers?
What happens to other children they may have are they taken away from them?

Aren't they bloody embarrassed that they have raised little shits?
Boils my piss. Nothing ever changes.
You can't even name the teenagers, everything's on the yobbos side?
Isn't it time we asked about the parents and held them partly responsible.
How will it change otherwise?

Its tragic what happened, but it reminds me of countless stories like this, middle aged men confronting out of control teens and getting killed.

Ordinary members of the public shouldn't approach dangerous criminals, call the police when you're out of danger if you see something criminal, don't have a go yourself. This needs to be rammed home to middle aged men , they're trying to do the right thing, but it ends like this too many times...

Your suggestion has some weight, where parents are culpable, but who judges that failure, a judge? Social workers? How does a criminal justice system that barely functions, prove culpability?

Flapjackquack · 18/01/2023 19:01

Eyerollcentral · 18/01/2023 18:58

Yep, town square, do it right and give the rest of the surviving povs both a lesson and something to look at to keep them off the streets committing more crime. Bring back the Middle Ages, that’s what we want

I know it’s a serious topic but the thought of the Daily Fail readers dressed as medieval peasants in a town square in Buckinghamshire chanting, has made me chuckle.

KettrickenSmiled · 18/01/2023 19:02

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/01/2023 18:45

Punishing families for one members crimes is what they do in North Korea, and we all know how successful that country is with cheerful happy chubby people who never want to leave Hmm

OP should apply for a job with the N Korean MSS. She'd be very happy there.

LexMitior · 18/01/2023 19:03

By the time you have killed someone as a teenager it is too late to look at parenting.

However, those under 18 get rather shorter sentence term for murder than they should. Really from a point of public safety.

ChrisPPancake · 18/01/2023 19:04

IncompleteSenten · 18/01/2023 17:09

Yeah.

But only if local authorities could be prosecuted in all cases where parents had been desperately pleading for help from all manner of services for years and were turned away repeatedly and left to try to manage alone.

Absolutely agree.

KettrickenSmiled · 18/01/2023 19:04

Flapjackquack · 18/01/2023 18:55

@Eyerollcentral - obviously, and then kill them again, just to make sure. That’ll learn them.

Don't be silly Flapjack, killing them twice is an expensive waste of resources.
What you do with the dug-up GP's is hang their carcasses from the town walls.

Retributive AND instructive!

XenoBitch · 18/01/2023 19:05

There have been cases of teens murdering their own parents. Imagine surviving your teen trying to murder you? Would you be prosecuted then? Bonkers.

JustAnotherManicNameChange · 18/01/2023 19:05

dottypotter · 18/01/2023 16:55

A youth has been found guilty today of stabbing a 53 year old man outside a supermarket in Redditch. Ian Kirwin.
The teenage gang had gone out looking for trouble and stabbed this man after he challenged them about their bad behaviour in a supermarket toilet where they had urinated on the floor and banged loudly on his cubicle door.
When is this thuggish and horrible behaviour going to end?

Isn't it time the parents of these feral teenagers were held to account now?
How can it be nothing to do with them when their offspring are out with knives?
Does anything ever happen to parents of these teenagers?
What happens to other children they may have are they taken away from them?

Aren't they bloody embarrassed that they have raised little shits?
Boils my piss. Nothing ever changes.
You can't even name the teenagers, everything's on the yobbos side?
Isn't it time we asked about the parents and held them partly responsible.
How will it change otherwise?

Have a look on here on the threads about troubled/dangerous teens and the desperate cries for help from their parents. Parents who have their homes destroyed,who are harmed themselves and afraid. Desperate please to police, social services, schools and mental health services for help.Being passed from pillar to post, waiting lists years old and then just being discharged etc. Threats of removing younger children either because they're not safe or because if you can't cope with jimmy and you kicked him out, you can't cope with your other children either but no help or support to deal with the violent child left at home.

How would you deal with a psychotic teen OP? Or a sociopath? Or a kid groomed into a gang or a radical organisation? Or a kid on drugs? Or a kid that fucked up and got in too deep and now can't get out? Or simply a "feral" kid when nobody else wants to know and you can't just kick them out?

Trez1510 · 18/01/2023 19:05

Flapjackquack · 18/01/2023 19:01

I know it’s a serious topic but the thought of the Daily Fail readers dressed as medieval peasants in a town square in Buckinghamshire chanting, has made me chuckle.

There is a joke in my group about DM readers being members of an 'Over 60s Hitler Youth Group'

Only, some days, it's not a joke per se.

Eyerollcentral · 18/01/2023 19:05

LexMitior · 18/01/2023 19:03

By the time you have killed someone as a teenager it is too late to look at parenting.

However, those under 18 get rather shorter sentence term for murder than they should. Really from a point of public safety.

Why what’s the reoffending rate for teenagers released after serving a sentence for murder?

OriGanOver · 18/01/2023 19:06

LexMitior · 18/01/2023 19:03

By the time you have killed someone as a teenager it is too late to look at parenting.

However, those under 18 get rather shorter sentence term for murder than they should. Really from a point of public safety.

Prison doesn't work. It doesn't prevent crime and it doesn't prevent reoffending. It's ideological. Same way hangings and cutting peoples hands off didn't work.

ElEmEnOhPee · 18/01/2023 19:06

It's like the "hug a hoodie" patrol on here FFS. Bless those poor feral shits who make the lives of their school mates and neighbours hell to the point it impacts other peoples mental health and have to live in fear, they just need a bit of support the poor little lambs. Meanwhile, whilst their families are getting thousands thrown at them the rest of us are left to pick up the pieces and trying to make sure our children don't end up killing themselves over being so severely bullied!

Flapjackquack · 18/01/2023 19:07

KettrickenSmiled · 18/01/2023 19:04

Don't be silly Flapjack, killing them twice is an expensive waste of resources.
What you do with the dug-up GP's is hang their carcasses from the town walls.

Retributive AND instructive!

Don’t forget decorative!

kittensinthekitchen · 18/01/2023 19:08

Looking at the OPs previous posts, and their asking for people's opinions but lack of comment on their own situation, I highly suspect a journalist.

Just in case that influences whether any of your continue to engage in this thread or not.

Eyerollcentral · 18/01/2023 19:08

ElEmEnOhPee · 18/01/2023 19:06

It's like the "hug a hoodie" patrol on here FFS. Bless those poor feral shits who make the lives of their school mates and neighbours hell to the point it impacts other peoples mental health and have to live in fear, they just need a bit of support the poor little lambs. Meanwhile, whilst their families are getting thousands thrown at them the rest of us are left to pick up the pieces and trying to make sure our children don't end up killing themselves over being so severely bullied!

Not one person here has said anything like that. However almost everyone agrees the OP’s idea is one of the stupidest ever. Followed up by the nut job advocating for eugenics.

LexMitior · 18/01/2023 19:09

Sorry, but murderong someone is about intention.

It doesn't matter if you have ADHD or whatever. That means maybe you have poor impulse control sometimes.

But violence towards is a choice. Don't bring behavioural issues into it. You don't commit murder because you didn't get assistance from
the authorities.

We don't lock people up because they might be a problem unless they are seriously mentally ill

Flapjackquack · 18/01/2023 19:09

kittensinthekitchen · 18/01/2023 19:08

Looking at the OPs previous posts, and their asking for people's opinions but lack of comment on their own situation, I highly suspect a journalist.

Just in case that influences whether any of your continue to engage in this thread or not.

A good point, but I was quite enjoying the new justice system we’d dreamt up 😂