DP thinks I’m Google

[Ninetytwelve]

AIBU? I snapped at my DP yesterday because he keeps asking me questions thinking I know the answer to everything. I can’t relax and enjoy a tv show without 100 questions, I am watching it at the same time as him so how would I know what he doesn’t about it.

When he’s cooking something he’ll ask me things like how long does this take to cook, what ingredients does he need, what goes first etc. how should I know I’m not a recipe book!

or a news article he reads, he will ask me questions like there was a car accident on the news the other day and he asked me where exactly it happened? I hadn’t even read the article!

Do you ignore him for most of the time?
Could it be that you only speak to him when he asks you a question?
Do you grumble and chunter on if the food he's made isn't to your liking?
Maybe you're just not meant for each other?

Personally, I would be mortified if I'd spoken to someone so harshly that I'd reduced them to tears.

Op you have my sympathies dh does that to me all the time. I feel like he should have his own opinion at times as I don't need two of Mee in the house. If ur dp cried then I would like to ask if he is okay?
My dh can be super sensitive but a lot is going on with us at the moment .

Maybe he processes out loud by thinking. I do it too but my parents are worse – sometimes I don't respond (pretend I'm thinking) and they quickly answer their own question/ask something else

That should be thinks by processing out loud, oh dear

I'm veeeery slowly training mine better.
I am mightily sick of us both watching a movie and he says (about a minor character no less) I've seen them in a different movie recently. And I the stupid one go to Google to find minor characters real name, then to see what other films they've been in. It dawned on me about 2 years ago that I keep going this, so I stopped and now I say "oh yeah, sure" no more googling.
I do find he is much better at cooking if I'm not there. I work late sometimes and he has to cook. If I stay out a little longer , he cooks, no questions. If I get home before he starts, it's a million questions. So I stay out a bit longer.

Yep. Often when women post about breaking down like that, it is a "final straw" kind of reaction. They've been so worn down by everything (shitty relationships, usually) that their emotional reaction is disproportionate to the situation. Then their DH/DP usually dismisses them as overreacting.

Every time I get asked a stupid question, I just ask Alexa the same question.
If she doesn't know, why should i?

Well this thread makes me think, apart from food/cooking I definitely treat my DH like Google.😆I don't know why I do it, he is very smart and just knows a lot of random things.... I want to make conversation I guess. I relate to your DP because I do not think before speaking to my DH, and just ask things which are dumb, for example I'll ask, do I need a coat, and with absolutely no knowledge of the weather my hubby happily just give me an answer lol.
I think you should talk random bollocks to his dumb questions, or ask him to be more mindful before asking questions them and explain how it is frustrating

Whats wrong with a bloke crying when he's fed up? With some of the comments on here, no wonder a lot of men have struggle showing any emotion other than anger.

YANBU about the questions being annoying though OP. That would drive me insane too.

Yep
lots of “that’s an overreaction”
as well as “that’s attractive” and “ha ha is he 12”

He went upstairs and cried? Jesus fucking Christ.

What is with these baby men? Were they so thoroughly mummied that they think women exist only to facilitate their every whim, including being able to spontaneously answer whatever random fucking thing they’ve decided to ask in a diatribe of irrelevant verbal diarrhoea?

When my dh asks me things he could easily find out /work out himself I just say ' you're 42 work it out ' . He is getting the message and the silly questions are getting less frequent now .

Eh? But they do. The OP's DP cried. That's showing emotion.

And I was watching Parliament Live yesterday and there were huge, big emotions coming in wave after wave from the male MPs there.

And the tennis in Australia. And football. And any city high street. Any Xbox game. Driving. Everywhere.

That's also annoying to be fair.

"I don't know. Try Google" on repeat, OP. It would drive me mad. The crying is pretty extreme. Maybe he should speak to someone professionally about that.

My DH does this. I could have written it word for word. Its infuriating. I cant watch a tv show in peace either. He needs it explaining. He will also ask who an actor is, and if i dont know, he will ask me to google it etc. I dont have the ick - i just want to be allowed to relax. He doesnt cry, but if i say 'i dont know' he will respond with 'why are you not talking to me? or why are you being mean?' Its like having another child, but my other actual children dont ask such stupid questions. I have explained to him a million times why its annoying but he does it anyway.
Crying though, thats an extreme reaction. I would be worried about that.

Baby men?

My oh asks me stupid questions too, I find it kinda endearing, but then I do quite like her

It is male entitlement. They grow up and are facilitated by women in a position of service and it becomes deeply ingrained.

Likely their mothers did the majority of the care of them and their fathers (plus additional family members like elderly parents and inlaws), they see women struggling to be recognised in the workplace by virtue of their sex or for having the audacity to bear a child will be stuck in lower positions, they see women fulfilling the majority of lower service positions in hospitality and clinical settings… they’re used to women serving them and so while many may pay lip service to gender equality, when it comes to practicing it, they don’t want it.

What lots of men really want is a wife with a tiny waist, doting smile, toes to the stove, never answering back and knowing her place.

Sorry. Tough day at work in a cock-heavy environment. Every day I have to stop a much more junior man from fucking talking over me in a boardroom. Absolute joke.

Men who can’t think for themselves and solve their own problems, but instead expect women to do it for them = baby men.

Well, I’ve got ick-by-proxy.

“Why are you being mean?” 🤯

I thought you meant men who reach the “straw that broke the camels back” point and find themselves in tears. I’m sure you agree if that’s what’s happened here he’s not a baby.

I can see why you'd find it irritating OP but based on your post I actually feel a bit sorry for your DH and wonder if he's ok. I'd go give him a big hug and communicate very clearly with him or I'm worried your marriage might be in trouble. The most likely explanation is that he's desperately craving genuine human interaction with you/anyone and just talking to try and start conversation with you. If he's a bit depressed he might also be lacking self-confidence explaining the daft questions and the disproportionate reaction to your snap. I think you need good, honest conversation here and probably date night too. I hope you can sort this x

My DH has a habit of doing this. I either say "Why would I know?" or "Is your internet broken?" ad infinitum. He's getting better

That said, if your DH has cried over this, it sounds like there's a lot more going on than just him asking silly questions and you getting frustrated. How's your marriage generally? If you're honest, do you feel like you often snap at him?

Mine thought I was his Facebook/text msg/email editor. "How do you spell...", "What is the proper way to say......", What's better word for.....?". Grammar & spelling, grammar & spelling. Not to mention thesaurus. And because he was writing a post/msg/email right then I should stop what I'm doing/watching and answer immediately! Used to drive me nuts. Then he discovered that he could speak his question to his computer and it would answer him!

I feel a bit surplus to requirements now. But at least I don't miss the 'whodunnit' part of a show or burn dinner!