DP thinks I’m Google

[Ninetytwelve]

AIBU? I snapped at my DP yesterday because he keeps asking me questions thinking I know the answer to everything. I can’t relax and enjoy a tv show without 100 questions, I am watching it at the same time as him so how would I know what he doesn’t about it.

When he’s cooking something he’ll ask me things like how long does this take to cook, what ingredients does he need, what goes first etc. how should I know I’m not a recipe book!

or a news article he reads, he will ask me questions like there was a car accident on the news the other day and he asked me where exactly it happened? I hadn’t even read the article!

Is it just clumsy attempts at conversation?
He was obviously upset by your reaction*

Iw9bdee this as well.Gottman who studies relationships highlighted "bids" by partners..could this be his annoying way to connect with you?

The solution is each time give a crazy answer. A totally unrealistic made up answer.

He sounds ill.

He cried? Bit extreme isn't it.

My DH does this, not so much now as my standard answer is "how should I know?" Men do tend to be attention seekers in my experience. Crying seems quite an extreme response. I hope he's ok.

I think the TV thing might just be a difference in personality. When I watch TV I like to put my programme on and watch it in silence so I can enjoy it. Obviously if I’m watching with DH we might pass the very odd occasional comment. Someone asking me a million questions would just spoil it for me. Generally if I want to chat about it it I’ll do it when it’s finished. But my BIL puts the telly on then just talks right the way through. I can’t watch anything with him at all because I actually find it really frustrating and annoying to have the TV on a movie or something and him just droning on over the top of it.

But constantly asking about recipes etc I’d just cut him off with ‘you’re cooking it, I don’t know how you’re supposed to make it’ and move the conversation to something else.

But the crying sounds extreme. I imagine this isn’t really about that one incident but possibly something else?

‘And he went upstairs and cried’
sounds attractive 😄

Did you have a question or anything? What’s the thread for?

Dare I ask what “the hump” is? Sounds ominous

Goodness he cried, does he normally react that way?

I answer that sort of question with a vague "Erm... dunno".

Crying is a rather over-the-top reaction, what else is going on?

@Thirder I do this all the time!!! The fact that you suggested it made me laugh quite loudly on a quiet train.

Like last night, WHILST HOLDING THE PACKET WITH THE COOKING INSTRUCTIONS, DH asked me how long to cook the fish cakes for... he was not impressed with my answer of 3 years.

Are you me OP ?

Only today I said 'FFS What am I ? Alexa or Siri in human form ? ! He took the hint (also didn't go upstairs and cry.)

I know what you mean!! My OH asks 20 questions sometimes too, I do get frustrated sometimes because often i dont know anymore than he does! Sometimes i get snippy and he gets upset, I do always apologise afterwards because he is just checking "incase i do know" and he doesnt intend to annoy me.

Maybe just apologise to your OH, because he was clearly upset by your reaction and I assume you believe he isnt being spiteful or malicious. Unfortunately that puts the onus on you for being mean. In future, just a simple "i dont know, sorry" and not adding anymore info will hopefully give him the push to do his own problem solving.

My husband regularly calls me GoogleJoris. But I think it's funny and I like him.

DH used to regularly say, "are we doing anything on Saturday?" and I'd actually stop and look into it. Then I realised I was being a mug so I started saying, "I don't know, what does the diary say?"

That did work over time. Then there was the day he booked to go off somewhere at 3pm on Saturday. When I pointed out this wasn't convenient, he said woefully, "but there was nothing in the diary for 3pm" and I had to say, "No, but DS has a match at 14:00, which IS in the diary, and therefore no one will be ready to go out by 3pm......".

He has mastered this too now. The first time he was responsible for booking the DC into the dentist I spent an embarrassing amount of time giggling slightly meanly in the background due to how many times he had to reschedule because he hadn't taken activities etc into account. But the next time he booked them in... all smooth and painless. He just had to learn.

This is my DH all over, but even worse if I respond 'I think...' he starts getting shirty :(

I think you sound pretty contemptuous of him tbh. Do you like him?

Sometimes I feel less like a wife & mother and more like a family PA.
My lot have honed weaponising incompetence to a fine art.

I'm guessing that it your eyes that make him think that. 👀

I don't know/Up my Bum, as appropriate.

Bit harsh. My DH does this and I tell him I'm not the oracle, I love him to bits but he has some fucking annoying habits!

Why are they so bloody infuriating?

my DH went on a diet, he did bloody great but would ask me the calorie content of absolutely fucking everything he put in his mouth. Apart from the fact that he logged everything on his MyFitnessPal so could get the calorie count he actually wanted me to count, but he also wanted me to log every item I put in a meal and give him the total so he only had to put a single value in his App.

I refused give him the calorie count of things and would just say “dunno”
and for the main meal I said 700 calories every single night.

He lost six stone so maybe I wasn’t far out 😃

@TangledWebOfDeception

I have a friend like this. She'll ring me when I'm at work and say 'I don't know how to do this' or 'such and such happened and I don't know what to do', when the answer can be found in 30 seconds on google. I love her but it drives me mad!