DP thinks I’m Google

[Ninetytwelve]

AIBU? I snapped at my DP yesterday because he keeps asking me questions thinking I know the answer to everything. I can’t relax and enjoy a tv show without 100 questions, I am watching it at the same time as him so how would I know what he doesn’t about it.

When he’s cooking something he’ll ask me things like how long does this take to cook, what ingredients does he need, what goes first etc. how should I know I’m not a recipe book!

or a news article he reads, he will ask me questions like there was a car accident on the news the other day and he asked me where exactly it happened? I hadn’t even read the article!

@AltheaVestr1t SIL and (ex) BIL had a habit of this. They'd get themselves into a state because on their email program tthey'd lost a signature file or something and call DH in a panic. Eventually he realised that 9/10 they would call him, he'd google it and then talk them through it. So he started telling them how great google was. For everything!

To be fair, lots of people on this site use it like Google too. I think it’s just what people are now used to, a bit like extrapolating from ‘Alexa, what…?’

I do this watching tv. I'm terrible for thinking out loud. When he's more irritable dh will snap but most of the time I just get a look to stfu.

It’s just another example of men expecting women to do the thinking for them.
See it time and time again.

Not really. I’ve had that in a prior relationship and it drive me mad.

Having conversation would be both parties having information and an opinions and we discuss not you just asking me random questions which as OP said she obviously does not know the answer to. A few questions is obviously fine but constant questions like that is very frustrating and I keep having to sis I don’t know; I’m watching it same as you I don’t know, we’re both reading it same time I don’t know etc.

And the crying, as someone suggested maybe he is depressed because that is an overreaction.

DH does this. I'm afraid I share some of the blame for training him as I do often know the answer. Since I clocked what he is up to, I have taken to answer in my best Alexa voice (taken from the Dungeons and Dragons help script 'I know everything

Cheers me up and keeps me busy when he finds whatever it is. 😀

Yes dh does this and it is incredibly infuriating. He just expects me to think and make decisions for him. Its become such a habit but im trying to really not do it anymore because there is NO need.

He’s upset enough about something to cry and that’s your reaction. No wonder men don’t feel they can show emotion.

He actually cried? Or is that just a saying? I've be been with my husband 16 years never seen him upset.

Haha, is he 12? 😭 😭

I don't get why he's being mocked for crying. Most people would be hurt if they're snapped at for doing something harmless.

Constant asking of questions isn't 'making conversation'

XH used to do this, especially the tv thing. I used to respond similarly to you OP but it never stopped him. He didn’t cry though.

Is there something else going on in your relationship? Does he feel generally rejected? How are things between you overall? Is he always so sensitive?

If he does that all the time, it's not harmless, it's driving the OP up the wall.

And if he hasn't taken the hint with a normal 'I don't know' then I'm sorry, I'd snap too

It is harmless, and even if it annoys her, it doesn't justify her talking to him like shit. "I don't fucking know" is not the same as "I don't know".

I say 'the hump' cause they usually go off mumbling and in a bad mood and sigh and say hmph in response just a silly name I label it

Crying is a big reaction to this so if correct I’d say it means something else is going on.

but yeah, let’s mock a bloke being upset. He needs to man up yes?

Best way to deal with this is to come up with uttelr ridiculous answers. SO in July if asked what the weather is tell them there's a blizzard and 6ft snow drifts; if asked if we need more milk ask them to go and buy 63 pints; how much celery to put in - 3 tons etc etc. Will cheer you up and stop you getting annoyed if nothing else....

I found with having similar that 'I don't know' didn't work, he'd just ask something else absentmindedly or ask why I was snarky. I found competitive incompetence got the message across and got him the chat he wanted without me feeding the incompetence (and gave me a laugh so I wasn't stressed with it).

Him: How long do I cook the burgers for?
Me: They need cooking?
Him: Yes, I'm frying them
Me: Oh, can you fry burgers then?
Him: Yes, course you can!
Me: Sounds delish
Him: But how long do they need?
Me: Depends what heat I suppose.
Him: I don't know. What heat do they go on?Hang on, I'll look it up.
Me: Good plan

Clearly there is something else going on if he started to cry.

When DH is being like this my usual response is some variation on don’t outsource your thinking to me.

Whoever quoted me- OPs bloke clearly has zero issue expressing his emotions which seem very extreme. He needs to source therapy for himself. Men can and do express emotions, it tends to be other males that shame them for it, so maybe start a petition or campaign on toxic masculinity if you want? And yes, I would not find someone I’m in a sexual relationship with attractive if they flounced away crying over nothing at all. I’d find it manipulative and weird. HTH, no need to quote me again, I won’t read your reply.

Poor sod
Shitty comments, some of these

Is something else going on with him? That seems like a really strong reaction?

Have you told him that you are annoyed by the questions or was snapping over hollyoaks the first time?

If he cried maybe it wasn't just you snapping that has upset him.

How is your marriage overall?

Mine does this, fucks me right off. My usual retort now is 'google it, ask alexa or look at the packet'. It is getting less. He also narrates everything he does 'I'm just finishing this tea, and they'll I'll have a shower' etc I don't fucking care, just get on with it!!