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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

8 year old & breastfeeding

127 replies

Boobi · 16/01/2023 21:06

NC as it could be quite contentious...

I've had my baby 6 months ago and I breastfeed. A couple of times when my 8 year old DN has been over she has said & done a couple of things which make me uneasy.

I'm a ftm and obv not used to breastfeeding, but feel very comfortable in my own home around family, so am quite open about it.

DN keeps trying to kiss DS on the cheek while he is latched on and I gently asked her not to while he is busy. She did this on a few visits.

Another time she was pretending to be DS and jumped on my lap in a breastfeeding position and actually bit my boob!

Before her sibling arrived DN has asked if she can have some milk, which I have said no to which she questioned and told me "mummy's going to let me".

DSIL (DN mum) has just had her second baby a week ago and has been in hospital.
Yesterday DN said she couldn't wait to see her so she can have more "booby milk".

Now I understand being curious and trying a bit, but honestly I think she's meaning full on breastfeeding.

It's not my plan, but I can also understand if she has been continuously breastfeed for 8 years, but the fact she's been weaned for around 5/6 years, the thought of her breastfeeding again makes me really uneasy.

I'm not overly close to DSIL but I could imagine she would breastfeed her older DC if that's what DC wanted.

I will try to find out weather she has just tried some, is drinking expressed milk regularly or is actually drinking from the breast.

What do you think?

YABU - it's her child and breastfeeding is perfectly natural at any age & stage.

YANBU - Yuck, it's not right to breastfeed a child who has been weaned for over 5 years.

OP posts:
OoooohMatron · 17/01/2023 16:29

None of your business OP but it's absolutely weird at that age. Let's just hope she doesn't mention it at school as this is a bully's dream come true.

2bazookas · 17/01/2023 16:30

What SIL does with her breasts and her children is her own business.

Tell DN in no uncertain terms " Get off, don't touch my breasts. " You don't need to explain , discuss or excuse that instruction.

OoooohMatron · 17/01/2023 16:36

Cuppasoupmonster · 17/01/2023 16:25

I don’t think it’s sexual. I think it’s indicative of a parent who puts their idea of ‘hippy, wholesome, natural’ parenting before the future embarrassment and discomfort of their child however. It’s egotistical.

Show quote history

I agree

AlwynAllWin · 17/01/2023 19:39

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

Emmamoo89 · 17/01/2023 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request

It sounds awkward to me. No way I would let my son relatch

Emmamoo89 · 17/01/2023 19:43

I'd*

MilkyYay · 17/01/2023 19:45

Oh come on people, spot the troll & walk away!!

Tallpinetrees · 17/01/2023 19:49

Cuppasoupmonster · 16/01/2023 23:45

I breastfed my son till he was 4 and a half when he decided he didn't want any more. Half a year later, he wanted a try but couldn't get anything out

Why did you even let him try?! I can’t imagine how weird and awkward it is to get your boob out to a 5 year old and encourage them to ‘latch on’. If he remembers that he will have some serious questions further down the line.

Because I'm feeding his little sister and he has lovely memories of it being a nice thing we did and the milk tastes nice?!

Not to mention the fact that it's NOT in any way shape or form a weird or awkward thing to him (or me!). He wanted a try, I let him have a try. "serious questions", sure Hmm

Cuppasoupmonster · 17/01/2023 19:50

How old is he now, tallpine?

Tallpinetrees · 17/01/2023 22:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Tallpinetrees · 17/01/2023 22:28

Cuppasoupmonster · 17/01/2023 19:50

How old is he now, tallpine?

Name change fail!

He will be 6 in a few months.

Cuppasoupmonster · 17/01/2023 22:48

It’s not surprising he’s fine and unembarrassed then, maybe see how he feels about that memory when he’s 16. I don’t think he will thank you for it.

Aussiegirl123456 · 18/01/2023 02:45

Cuppasoupmonster · 17/01/2023 22:48

It’s not surprising he’s fine and unembarrassed then, maybe see how he feels about that memory when he’s 16. I don’t think he will thank you for it.

You could say that about any child. Ew you came out your mum’s vagina and used to suck her boobs.

Except 99% of the population don’t because they don’t sexualise birth or breastfeeding… it’s a bit weird that you are. Which you are. “It’s always boys who do extended breastfeeding”…

SplishSplashIWasTakingABath · 18/01/2023 03:10

Far more normal to stop bfing and move on to the milk of another species, a milk designed for calves, not humans. I bet most of you saying it’s weird to bf past 2 do give your kids cows’ milk. Do have a hard think please, about how bonkers that actually is.

I nursed my youngest til she was just past her fifth birthday. Very normal in the circles I move in. One friend nursed til her dd was at least seven.

DN is being inappropriate with you, but she’ll learn.

Emmamoo89 · 18/01/2023 04:23

SplishSplashIWasTakingABath · 18/01/2023 03:10

Far more normal to stop bfing and move on to the milk of another species, a milk designed for calves, not humans. I bet most of you saying it’s weird to bf past 2 do give your kids cows’ milk. Do have a hard think please, about how bonkers that actually is.

I nursed my youngest til she was just past her fifth birthday. Very normal in the circles I move in. One friend nursed til her dd was at least seven.

DN is being inappropriate with you, but she’ll learn.

My son will be getting cows milk at 1 as well as boob. But that'll be stopping at 2

Emmamoo89 · 18/01/2023 04:27

SplishSplashIWasTakingABath · 18/01/2023 03:10

Far more normal to stop bfing and move on to the milk of another species, a milk designed for calves, not humans. I bet most of you saying it’s weird to bf past 2 do give your kids cows’ milk. Do have a hard think please, about how bonkers that actually is.

I nursed my youngest til she was just past her fifth birthday. Very normal in the circles I move in. One friend nursed til her dd was at least seven.

DN is being inappropriate with you, but she’ll learn.

I find it bonkers to nurse that long. I think doing it to 2 is long enough

Cuppasoupmonster · 18/01/2023 04:29

Aussiegirl123456 · 18/01/2023 02:45

You could say that about any child. Ew you came out your mum’s vagina and used to suck her boobs.

Except 99% of the population don’t because they don’t sexualise birth or breastfeeding… it’s a bit weird that you are. Which you are. “It’s always boys who do extended breastfeeding”…

Show quote history

Oh please. Nobody says that because it’s the ‘norm’, breastfeeding a school age child isn’t. I think you know the difference perfectly well, and no I’m not ‘sexualising’ anything. Pretending you don’t understand why it would be embarrassing is really disingenuous.

Aussiegirl123456 · 18/01/2023 04:39

Cuppasoupmonster · 18/01/2023 04:29

Oh please. Nobody says that because it’s the ‘norm’, breastfeeding a school age child isn’t. I think you know the difference perfectly well, and no I’m not ‘sexualising’ anything. Pretending you don’t understand why it would be embarrassing is really disingenuous.

Show quote history

I never even mentioned anything about embarrassment? But why would the kid be embarrassed? They likely wouldn’t go around telling everyone. Just like there’s still some older children who have to wear nappies to bed, they likely don’t tell anyone either. So the embarrassing thing you’re trying to push is moot.

What is embarrassing though is sexualising breastfeeding. It’s creepy you state that it’s only boys. As if the bf mother has some kind of sexualised attachment with her little boy. Girls do it too.

While it’s not for me, it’s none of my business if that’s what some mothers and children want to do.

Cuppasoupmonster · 18/01/2023 04:41

And I never mentioned sexualising yet you seem weirdly obsessed with it…

Aussiegirl123456 · 18/01/2023 04:53

Obsessed? I replied to you once! Get over yourself!

Your responses to other people implied you sexualising extended bf of ‘little boys’. They also pointed this out to you.

But yeah, ok deny and deflect. Odd.

Cuppasoupmonster · 18/01/2023 05:13

What’s odd is breastfeeding a school age child. Ask any regular person and they’ll say the same, it isn’t some niche view in the real world. And you’ve brought sexualising up a couple of times now when I’ve clearly stated I don’t think it is, like you’re desperate for me to ‘admit’ thinking it because it can’t be for any other reason

Aussiegirl123456 · 18/01/2023 05:45

Cuppasoupmonster · 18/01/2023 05:13

What’s odd is breastfeeding a school age child. Ask any regular person and they’ll say the same, it isn’t some niche view in the real world. And you’ve brought sexualising up a couple of times now when I’ve clearly stated I don’t think it is, like you’re desperate for me to ‘admit’ thinking it because it can’t be for any other reason

I'm not sure if you’re a little bit stupid or just ignorant. You literally had this entire conversation with @Roundabout78 a few pages back, where they also brought up how creepy it is that you sexualised breastfeeding.

Also, breastfeeding a school aged child is not considered ‘odd’ by ‘everyone’. In some parts of the world it’s the norm. It’s odd to you because it’s likely not the norm where you’re from.

However, a child being embarrassed or others finding it odd is not what I ever wrote about. I pointed out your peculiar sexualisation of breastfeeding…which you did. Which has also been noticed by other commenters who brought this up with you. Yet here you are so fucking ignorant, trying to deny that and to deflect the conversation.

I won’t respond any further because I’m beginning to think you’re a troll, and I don’t want to feed it.

All the best.

Vivaleconfused · 18/01/2023 05:50

@Aussiegirl123456 cuppa soup monster is obv a troll don’t engage. Plus you can’t argue with stupid!

IAmTheWalrus85 · 18/01/2023 05:56

Sounds like an 8 year old who’s got a new sibling and a new cousin so as a result is really interested in breastfeeding.

In other words, a non-event.

Quinoawoman · 18/01/2023 06:14

I teach 8 year olds and have one at home. and the behaviour of this child is odd. Really odd. Have you spoken to your sister about it? Does she know that she bit your breast? DN has said that mummy will let her have some booby milk but that might not be true at all - I reckon she made that up to try to get you to say yes. I wouldn't like yo speculate about what's up with the child, but yiu have a duty to talk to your sister about it and really should have done so before she had her baby.