8 year old & breastfeeding

[Boobi]

NC as it could be quite contentious...

I've had my baby 6 months ago and I breastfeed. A couple of times when my 8 year old DN has been over she has said & done a couple of things which make me uneasy.

I'm a ftm and obv not used to breastfeeding, but feel very comfortable in my own home around family, so am quite open about it.

DN keeps trying to kiss DS on the cheek while he is latched on and I gently asked her not to while he is busy. She did this on a few visits.

Another time she was pretending to be DS and jumped on my lap in a breastfeeding position and actually bit my boob!

Before her sibling arrived DN has asked if she can have some milk, which I have said no to which she questioned and told me "mummy's going to let me".

DSIL (DN mum) has just had her second baby a week ago and has been in hospital.
Yesterday DN said she couldn't wait to see her so she can have more "booby milk".

Now I understand being curious and trying a bit, but honestly I think she's meaning full on breastfeeding.

It's not my plan, but I can also understand if she has been continuously breastfeed for 8 years, but the fact she's been weaned for around 5/6 years, the thought of her breastfeeding again makes me really uneasy.

I'm not overly close to DSIL but I could imagine she would breastfeed her older DC if that's what DC wanted.

I will try to find out weather she has just tried some, is drinking expressed milk regularly or is actually drinking from the breast.

What do you think?

YABU - it's her child and breastfeeding is perfectly natural at any age & stage.

YANBU - Yuck, it's not right to breastfeed a child who has been weaned for over 5 years.

[PolarBlair]

As long as your niece doesn't want to feed from your boob (to which you just say no) file this under "not my business"

[Dogscanteatonions]

This doesn't sound very credible to me

[Stopthebusplease]

To me breast milk is meant to feed babies, what's she going to do, keep on until this kid is an adult? Weird imo!

[Cuppasoupmonster]

If this is a real post then YANBU that is fucking weird. I’ve seen a poster on here (whose posting history suggests not a troll) who still breastfeeds her 8 year old occasionally 🤢 personally I think it should be a social services matter.

[Giraffy]

Sounds like a jealousy thing. If you SIL is for whatever reason BF the older child then that's her decision. You don't have to agree with it. I would set firm boundaries when you are BF though as difficult as that may be

[modgepodge]

@Cuppasoupmonster

If this is a real post then YANBU that is fucking weird. I’ve seen a poster on here (whose posting history suggests not a troll) who still breastfeeds her 8 year old occasionally 🤢 personally I think it should be a social services matter.

😂😂😂😂

[watchfulwishes]

Why on earth would you 'try to find out'? Keep your bloody nose out and focus on your own baby.

With your niece you simply say 'I can't feed you, because you are not my baby, I can only feed my own baby. Just like only your mummy could feed you when you were a baby'.

[Sucessinthenewyear]

It’s very unlikely an 8 year old would be able to latch.

[purpledalmation]

Literally none of your business. Keep her occupied when you feed and leave well alone. Extended breastfeeding isn't a crime or harmful and isn't child abuse.

[Outandover]

She bit your boob?? What did you say to that? Very weird behaviour for a child of 8 but then if her DM is letting her bf then she needs to know boundaries and that includes not getting overly familiar with other women’s breasts. Actually sounds a bit creepy tbh.

[Cuppasoupmonster]

@Sucessinthenewyear

It’s very unlikely an 8 year old would be able to latch.

There was a news item about men ‘abusively breastfeeding’ so it must be possible even for grown adults 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Blendy]

literally has nothing to do with you whatsoever

[Cuppasoupmonster]

@purpledalmation

Literally none of your business. Keep her occupied when you feed and leave well alone. Extended breastfeeding isn't a crime or harmful and isn't child abuse.

Extended as in 2 or 3, no. 8 is just creepy, sorry. I would have serious misgivings about any woman that did this and so would 95% of sane minded people.

[Emmamoo89]

YANBU it's gross. Breastfeeding past 2 is gross

[cadburyegg]

An 8 year old wouldn't be able to latch. They lose the ability not long after stopping I think. Maybe your DN means that she's having some mummy milk in a cup? Idk she needs to be taught a bit about boundaries, my ds is nearly 8 and knows that mummy milk is for feeding babies (I bf both of mine until they were 1+ btw)

[elliejjtiny]

It's a jealousy/curiosity thing and completely normal. I'm assuming this new baby is dsil's 2nd child so she has been an only child for 8 years and now her mum has got a new baby and been in hospital for a week too, that must be a very confusing time for her and no wonder she wants to be a baby again. I think a firm but gentle no to breastfeeding her yourself or to her distracting your ds when he is feeding but leave the rest to her parents.

[PinkPlantCase]

@Emmamoo89

YANBU it's gross. Breastfeeding past 2 is gross

Why is breastfeeding past 2 gross?

There are lots of issues in the OP. I’ve never known someone let a child who isn’t also tandem nursing get close enough to kiss the baby’s cheek whilst they’re feeding. And that’s ignoring the fact that this child bit the OPs boob 😱

Assert your boundaries OP.

[Cuppasoupmonster]

I don’t think past 2 is ‘gross’ (although it’s not for me), but 8 is. There’s a world of difference between the two.

[GreenEmeraldSea]

Young kids don't have big inhibitions. If you do stuff around them, they just see it as normal and want to join in.

If this is such a private matter for you, then keep it private - rather than doing it in front of DN and expecting her to - what - ignore it?

[Eurydice84]

This makes me think of that boy in Game of Thrones.... Robyn Arryn?

[Emmamoo89]

@PinkPlantCase

Why is breastfeeding past 2 gross?

There are lots of issues in the OP. I’ve never known someone let a child who isn’t also tandem nursing get close enough to kiss the baby’s cheek whilst they’re feeding. And that’s ignoring the fact that this child bit the OPs boob 😱

Assert your boundaries OP.

I just find it gross. When my son asks for boobie that's when I'll be stopping. Makes me think of little Britain 🤣

[wtqkapdj]

This feels very unlikely

[watchfulwishes]

@Emmamoo89

YANBU it's gross. Breastfeeding past 2 is gross

Please explain why it is 'gross'. You sound like a tween.

[Iam4eels]

Sounds like she's unsettled because of two new babies in the family, perfectly normal for children to revert in odd ways while they adjust.

It's none if your business at all whether or not SIL gives her own daughter her own breastmilk, keep your beak firmly out. It's unlikely that she could even latch at this age, children lose the ability once they're weaned and changes to the jaw/mouth as adult teeth grown in mean it's not possible to relearn, they can't get the angle or the position.

[Emmamoo89]

@watchfulwishes

Please explain why it is 'gross'. You sound like a tween.

I just think it's wrong. And that's my opinion.