“Hard, isn’t it?”

[mymycherrypie]

AIBU to find this response to someone talking about their hardship (bereavement in this case but applicable to all) condescending and a little patronising.

My friend who often has something going on and is always in the middle of a large drama or legal issue - usually of her own making - said this to a mutual friend who had recently lost someone. I felt for him somehow, something inside me cringed.

I’ve thought about it and it’s the kind of been there done that aspect of it. There’s a few responses that are similar but I can’t think of them right now.

I didn't read it that way but I guess you'd need to hear the intonation and accompanying body language. I would see this as an acknowledgement of the pain because you've been there yourself. You're not saying 'I bet it's hard' , you're saying 'I know it's hard '

It is hard! My dad is dying at the moment. If your friend said that to me I would say , yes it bloody is.

I don't think it was such a terrible thing to say.