To wonder how volunteers cope with parents' stupidity?

[MeghanThyStallion]

My DC are involved in various clubs so I'm on a few WhatsApp groups used by the volunteer leaders to coordinate with parents. My goodness, but I roll my eyes so often. Some examples since Christmas:

• Trainer: "Happy New Year everyone! Don't forget we're back on Wednesday, 5pm at local leisure centre." The next few messages, all from parents: "When are we back?" "Is it usual time?" "Are we still at local school?"

• Coach: "Home game this Saturday vs Man U, meet at 10 for a 10.30 kick-off." Parents: "Is there a match this weekend?" "What time?" and my personal favourite, the parent who text in at 10.45 on match day to say their DC couldn't play because they were injured

And so on and so forth, every siglngle week. FML but I would have lost it by now. "Well, numb-nuts, if you bloody read the message I JUST sent you, you'd know the answer to that question!"

How do they do it?!

Class Rep gets similar some years. It’s bizarre behaviour- how do these people get through day to day life?!

Just to give the other side though, it is annoying when you do look at the FAQs but it doesn't answer your question but the person decides not to read your email and tells you to go and read them.

I do say "yes I have already been to the FAQs and they don't answer my question. Could you please read my question again".

It does work both ways.

Super annoying!! I think there should be terms and conditions to read messages before asking questions. If they don’t they should immediately be evicted from the groups, & would soon learn 😂

I had this too recently, at uni. Issue was the FAQ explained what you are supposed to do (use a certain online system) but didn’t explain how to actually use it. I emailed asking how you were supposed to use it and got a snotty check FAQ, you use x system. I had to reply again saying yes but I’m asking how to access x system!

Surely that's fine then. If the FAQ don't cover it, email back and say can you help. 90% of the time though, the answer is in the FAQ, plus I update mine to answer new questions and circulate the answers to all students (having checked it's fine to do that). That way everyone has the same information which is fair anyway if it involves things like marks and assessment.

Of course it’s fine, but in the same way some people don’t bother reading before asking the question, others don’t bother reading your email before directing you to unhelpful info that you’ve already seen!

It's not just parents! I run a business and send out reminders for appointments which include the date, time & price. I get so many replies of "what time?" "How much is it?" I want to reply "Read the bloody text!" But that wouldn't be very professional 😂
Maybe I should channel my inter Alex Horn "All the information is in the task text" 🤣

Black kit on Saturday. What kit on Saturday?

Yes one parent would always ask last minute 30 minutes before arrival time if someone could give her DD a lift to football and a lift home. We offered initially and they wouldn’t respond then would wait for a certain later offer they would say its ok they are going to go with X it was almost like a popularity contest to see how many last minute offers her DD could get in the end we stopped bothering. But 3 or 4 parents would usually fall over themselves to offer a lift and she would go with her Dd’s choice but not confirm until even later in the day.

I genuinely think it's a massive issue. People have incredibly short attention spans and don't pay attention at all. It's only getting worse with the younger generation and I think is vastly due to the Internet/social media.

I get this sort of stuff at work all the time and it drives me crazy too. @BeADinosaur not rude at all, they are rude for wasting everyone's time and only by getting called out repeatedly will they (perhaps) learn.

Bit like MumsNet. Info on thread "I'm a mum with 2 children aged 6 & 8.........". First response " How old are your children? "

As others have said - there are a number of private WhatsApp groups that we use to let off steam.

My favourite one was when (post Covid) I had set up an admin system so people could pay online to avoid Covidy-cash being passed back and forth.

One parent was having trouble and put a screen shot of her credit card payment details onto the group to ask me why it wasn’t working.

1. How am I supposed to know - as with every group like this the credit card bit is done by a third party to ensure it is secure
2. If I had to take an absolute shot in the dark I would say it might be vaguely connected to the fact that you have mis spelt your surname
3. Did you really intend to put all your credit card details online to show to a group of over 100 people?

I teach and tell the office staff daily that I cannot imagine dealing with adults like this all day- and it really is all day. The children, I have (almost) boundless patience, the parents? Not so much. Just get on and adult- read the information on one of the 4 formats we’ve sent it out on. (Does not apply to the parents we know can’t read English/ are illiterate/ struggle with dyslexia- believe me, these do not make up most of the parents asking all the questions)

I think some of these people shop on ebay:

Advert: computer desk, 150cm long, 75cm deep, two functioning drawers, collection only from XXX

-how long is it?
-how much to deliver it to YYY?
-does the computer come with it?
-do the drawers open?
-will it go in my car?

Firm boundaries and a clear ethos about the team in which you are running.

My husband runs a tier 1 football team successfully and he has a couple of non negotiables:

• He likes his team to win. Taking part is important but we are here to win or we are at least trying to win. This is made clear from the offset so that any “it’s the taking part that counts” parents know it’s not going to be the environment for their child
• Commitment. He doesn’t tolerate players turning up late too often or failing to turn up to games as this has an effect on the whole team
• He doesn’t take on players who have massive egos/generally unkind. If there is a player who is unkind or starts to undermine other players on the team then he swiftly gets rid. Additionally he doesn’t accept parents who try to dominate team decisions. If they want to do that, they can go and manage their own team. Plenty of teams are desperate for grass roots coaches
• A true passion for grassroots football and coaching which is led by intrinsic motivation. A lot of coaches go in to it for the kudos and then give up once they realises the amount of work that it involves.

He started out with his team when they were all very little and now they’re nearly at youth. There’s been a few bumps along the way and it’s not been easy but he loves football and coaching and has a good reputation in our local area.

Many parents want their child coached by him so I think that’s a positive sign he’s doing something right. You will absolutely not please everyone as a coach so you will need a bit of a thick skin and the ability to switch off and have the perspective to know that yes it is good to win but it’s not the most important thing in your life. We have made lovely friends and we have holidayed together over the years and made some fabulous memories.

Oh and if a parent asks for the kick off time and he has already posted it, he doesn’t post it again. It’s their job to scroll back and they always seem to manage that in the end.

I've stopped replying back as it's the same people every single time. We all got the email, I can't be bothered to hunt mine down and post into the group because they can't bothered to read their mail in the first place.

Hopefully any volunteer, teacher, anyone who sends out information will ignore subsequent requests for that info to be repeated.

I see it in here every day. Someone will start a thread, include relevant information and by the 3rd post, someone will reply asking about said relevant information.

You see it on here all the time.

OP - Worried about my eight year old DS.
1st reply - How old is your son?

🙄

@MeghanThyStallion could you give us a couple of examples of parents stupidity

It’s like it at school as well. The school sends a letter detailing the requirements for a trip and people are asking questions that are in black ink on the letter. Inset day - reminder on the school calendar, they text, they email, they even Insta and FB and then someone is complaining on the WhatsApp group that the school have crap communication. I think some parents get so caught up (yes possibly lazy) and don’t want to make what they see as effort, even though it would take less time than asking and waiting for a response.

You do see people people on here asking about information that's already been given in the OP but it is absolutely not the same as what school staff and volunteers are having to put up with. When you post on Mumsnet, your rarely giving up hours of your time on an ongoing basis to provide enriching activities for children. Children whose parents are so entitled they can't even be bothered to appreciate the time the volunteer has already given up organising the activity and providing the information, and expect said volunteer to give up even more time for them.

Yes, I'm a volunteer for a youth organisation.

Of course it’s fine, but in the same way some people don’t bother reading before asking the question, others don’t bother reading your email before directing you to unhelpful info that you’ve already seen!

Also companies/banks that don't have the option to do a very simple thing on their websites and tell you you have to call them instead. Then, whilst you're on hold for hours, waiting for somebody to answer, you get a message every minute patronisingly telling you how you could have saved yourself so much time by doing it online.

Our scout leader changed the WhatsApp group to posts only by leaders for this very reason. OSM is used to contact leaders for anything else which cuts out a lot of the stupid queries, possibly because those parents can't work out how to use it properly ?!