To wonder how volunteers cope with parents' stupidity?

[MeghanThyStallion]

My DC are involved in various clubs so I'm on a few WhatsApp groups used by the volunteer leaders to coordinate with parents. My goodness, but I roll my eyes so often. Some examples since Christmas:

• Trainer: "Happy New Year everyone! Don't forget we're back on Wednesday, 5pm at local leisure centre." The next few messages, all from parents: "When are we back?" "Is it usual time?" "Are we still at local school?"

• Coach: "Home game this Saturday vs Man U, meet at 10 for a 10.30 kick-off." Parents: "Is there a match this weekend?" "What time?" and my personal favourite, the parent who text in at 10.45 on match day to say their DC couldn't play because they were injured

And so on and so forth, every siglngle week. FML but I would have lost it by now. "Well, numb-nuts, if you bloody read the message I JUST sent you, you'd know the answer to that question!"

How do they do it?!

I'm a university lecturer and what I do is put all the information very clearly on the website. I then compile a list of FAQs about every single thing someone could ask. I then send a very nice but straightforward email saying I'd be delighted to answer any further questions, but only when you have checked the website and the FAQs first. This has reduced my 'how do I do this, what about that, when is such and such' mail by about 90%.

I also designate 5 min at the start of class to ask questions 'so we can all hear the answers'. That takes care of another 5%.

I've gone down from voluminous and unmanageable questions to more normal levels now!

Donkey's years ago, I was a swimming coach - all pre WhatsApp, otherwise I might have gone spare.

We asked that all the kids wore swimming caps, younger ones, no issue but the 10-12 year olds, nope, forgot all the time. We introduced a system that anyone who forgot their swimming cap would have to wear a big flowery cap along these lines:

www.amazon.co.uk/Moresave-Ladies-Flower-Casual-Swimming/dp/B0756V8PCB/ref=sr_1_13?keywords=flower%2Bswimming%2Bcap&qid=1673809610&sr=8-13&th=1

Backfired a bit, one of the girls loved that so forgot on purpose.

Most parents were okay to deal with, but there were some who always complained when their little treasure was not allowed to jump at the end of the session. We operated a "three strike" rule, where jumping privileges would be revoked after misbehaving three times.
Of course, some parents could not believe that little XYZ would misbehave.

Then there were competitions we went to, meeting point always was our local pool, then car pooling from there. Some specialists had to be reminded for weeks and then still turned up late. Parents then claimed they hadn't known the date/time.
Well guess what, we did give you a written note, you had to sign before we signed your child up.

But yes, us coaches knew who those people were and yes, we did gossip about those parents - a lot.

It's not just parents OP.

Time and time again I see this on work courses with supposedly high potential leaders.
Example - an email comes out 'the course starts on Monday to wednesday, accommodation is booked for you at X hotel'

Cue messages - do we need to book our own accom? Does it finish Tuesday or Wednesday? Etc etc.

One of my siblings ran a guide group several years ago
the parents were atrocious- threatening to sue. Threatening stand outside after to ‘sort you out’.

the answer to the original op is that they leave. No one would or should put up
with that

Oh OP, you are definitely NOT being unreasonable!

It is a nightmare, I wasn’t good enough at not sending back incredulous answers to stupid questions so gave up the volunteering

I worry about literacy skills and comprehension these days. people commenting on news articles where they only read the (misleading and dramatic) and comment according to their own bias... so I am not surprised

Yep, I left the PTA due to the utter daftness of parents . I'd joined it as I'd resigned from being a Scout helper for the very same reasons.

I just don't understand some people. Ask for payment, dumbness.
Ask for help, silence.
Ask for contributions, stupidity.
Ask to arrive at a certain time , the cat vomited whilst the ancient oak that has stood for 800 years suddenly fell and clipped a clematis.

I don't volunteer anymore.

I work in a school office and have also volunteered in various PTA/youth group type roles in the past.

The best way of coping with rude as hell/disorganised as fuck/thick as mince parents is to make sure you are working and volunteering with other, like-minded and lovely people with whom you can have a regular laugh and rant about how utterly shite some parents are You have to laugh and rant about it otherwise it would drive you mad.

Either that or quit the role you've taken on. Sadly I suspect this probably happens a lot.

Not read the full thread so someone may have already said this but we have set up our WhatsApp groups so only admin can send messages for the club I volunteer in. Stops the important messages being buried in the stupid questions and chat (which should be taken off the group)

Some (lots) people are thick a mince. Truly.

As*

Deep breaths.
Sharing feelings with other volunteers when the coast is clear.
Having nicknames for the regular offenders so the whisper 'Blogging Mum' or 'the All For Us Family' can be passed back to warn volunteers who aren't near the door.

I could write a book about sports volunteer admin and parents, I think. There would need to be a separate section on stealth boasting (and blatant boasting), and parents who think they are being subtle in trying to have rules bent for their children but who are spouting the same lines as generations of parents before them, and can be seen right through by the experienced eye...

I find it helps to remember that the children of disorganised/ difficult parents have to put up with them all the time, and probably miss lots of stuff/ arrive at activities where the organisers are already cross with them before they arrive. So in their interests, and on the basis that I only have to deal with said parents occasionally, I grit my teeth and respond politely...

No idea how they do it. I certainly wouldn’t give up my time to facilitate a club like this.

However I think lots of people struggle with managing their weekly schedule, balancing works and home life and are generally overwhelmed. So although I agree it’s annoying I do understand the at everyone had different stuff going on and different abilities at comprehending information on a big WhatsApp group

You see it in here all the time where people ask
for information already included in the OP. Eg ‘we’ve been married for 4 years and have 2 children 2 and 18 months….’ Posters then ask ‘are you married?’ ‘Do you have children?’ Etc

I used to work in communications.

After 20 years I can confirm that the majority of people can read, but don't, and can hear, but can't listen.

It has always been like this.

I’m in a WhatsApp group for one of my kids’ activities and just after Christmas a dad messaged asking ‘when is the first class back?’ I said ‘first Wednesday after new year’ and he messaged ‘what date?’

The date of the first Wednesday of the new year!!!

I think it’s a bit like when people will message on Facebook or whenever asking ‘what time does the cinema open?’ Some people think they’re just above looking for the information like everyone else, and should have it delivered to them specially.

Id just reply with ‘oh that’s a shame’…. And walk away / or virtual equivalent.

Arrogant gits.

I used to see all the emails that came into my running club, the majority of which asked ridiculous questions. At the time I also had access to the running club website, so I prepared a list of FAQs for the website and every time someone asked a question that was in the FAQs, I referred them to that list. If something new came up, I added it to the list.

As well as laziness, I think a lot of this is attention seeking and I wouldn't pander to it.

I'm the chair/director and a volunteer with several charities and this kind of stuff - I’ve learnt to let it flow off me as much as possible. I make pinned posts and graphics for groups with the info in and just tell folks the info is in the pinned post etc. I try to train them to look at the info for themselves.

I see it in local ‘talk’ groups all the time - what times Asda open ‘til…

f’ing google it!!! Takes longer for them to write it out then type in the query to google!

To be fair, posts are often very long and don't get to the point. But letters about trips etc are usually very clear.

OMG this is so true. I gave up running a cub group as people couldn’t be arsed to read communications, late payments, little support and some ‘regulars’ collected kids late. It just wasn’t worth it.

Same with school trips. All the health & safety assessments I could cope with but being asked the same questions when all the information was on letter, emails etc tipped me over the edge. I refused to run trips again for any group below sixth form.

It's just people in general (15 years in call centres, 6 in retail...)

I told a customer something had expired the other day (having checked it twice on 2 different systems)
"No it hasn't, you're wrong" she said
I explained how I checked it didn't add IT IS MY JOB TO DO THIS
Still adamant it hadn't expired
She checked it herself, it had expired she told me
No apology

I always think people can't surprise me any more and then another day comes and I'm doing this face

I see plenty of Advance tickets used at the wrong time or even on the wrong day, so they're not particularly competent at getting to Pontins either.