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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to not want a television in the sitting room?

123 replies

angelico53 · 15/01/2023 07:34

We live in a small modern house with a sitting room and a kitchen diner on the ground floor. We haven't had a television for donkeys' years, when we used to have a TV room in a bigger house.

OP posts:
Original poster
angelico53 · 15/01/2023 08:50

any spare bedrooms that could be used a music room/TV room?

No - we have a tiny office with a desk etc., which also contains my wardrobe and chest of draws. One thing is that if we have a TV in the sitting room, loads more watching will get done (I'd guess that the bar will get lower and lower over time) so I will have to go elsewhere...

I could maybe do my actual work in the kitchen and move my keys and strings to the office. It's about 6' x 8'. But careful arrangement, get rid of th massive worktop I use as a desk ... Hmmmm. :)

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 15/01/2023 08:50

Ask for a conversation about compromise. You've been together decades, you can do this!

Alternatively take the route of my DH and DS, quietly ignore my attempts to prettify the house. Continue to leave your frequently used items out. Eventually no one can actually see them as they become part of the furniture!

Things are more cluttered now, because why should I carefully put my stuff away if they don't! There's less conflict though!

SoShallINever · 15/01/2023 08:58

I was with you until you said they deserve a sofa.

We have 5 on our living room wall.
Also in the room, a piano, several wind instruments, and 2 harps.

Leadbridge · 15/01/2023 09:03

They are not flights of plaster ducks, they are carefully set up, beautiful tools, used daily with love.

By that token then they're not a vacuum cleaners and mops to be shoved in an under stairs cupboard but out and free to be admired as things of beauty on the wall...

Our two down stairs on the wall are the two that DH is currently playing (an acoustic and an electric)...and they are right next to the sofa he plays them on (admittedly this is a different room from the one with the Piano, both rooms have TVs).

Anyway, yes, YABU - TV in a sitting room is pretty standard (especially if this is your only sitting room). Is it really the TV you're against or the fact that you can't boost about not having a TV? You're coming across as quite pretentious...

Hbh17 · 15/01/2023 09:06

Agreed. We have lived in our house for over 30 years and never had a TV in the sitting room. Even the smaller TVs of the 1980s were so ugly, and the giant ones people have now are horrible - the average sized sitting room just can't take them. It's your house - do whatever you like.

yoyo1234 · 15/01/2023 09:08

1 TV(wall mount?) and 2 guitars (floor stands) could look very nice in that size of room. It's the 3 piece suite (how about a 3 seater and armchair), 6 side tables, gonks, plastic crate etc that take up space 🤔 ..... do not think it sounds relaxing.

Fairislefandango · 15/01/2023 09:11

I'm afraid you sound very sneery about your partner's preferences and very precious and a bit petulant about your own.

ProserpinaProserpina · 15/01/2023 09:12

We didn’t have a TV until both kids got chickenpox last year 😂

We live in a tiny cottage so space was a factor in our decision not to have one. We were also happy watching Netflix etc. on a laptop or tablet when the mood struck us.

Our TV now is only about 24 inches (it sits unobtrusively on our dresser) but it means I can get dinner cooked or have a shower without two preschoolers killing each other.

RandomMess · 15/01/2023 09:17

Sounds like the sitting room has become YOUR music room instead of a room for the whole family?

Augend23 · 15/01/2023 09:17

Just get rid of all the side tables, you'll still have a coffee table and two side tables with lamps on. Then there's enough room for everything.

PuttingDownRoots · 15/01/2023 09:19

I wouldn't keep expensive musical instruments out in a room where a dog plays (assumption made on dog toys) tbh.

TheKeatingFive · 15/01/2023 09:22

Do what you want. I'm not sure what value strangers input is giving you here.

DDivaStar · 15/01/2023 09:27

Surely these conversations should have started when you decided to downsize.

Its perfectly acceptable to have tv in the sitting room and its no different to watching a laptop. You just need to agree on a size.

And of course you need to accommodate your instruments. Try to find a way they are not getting in the way day to day but still available when you want them.

That's how adults compromise, not by sulking.

Patineur · 15/01/2023 09:29

Why is a TV "a portal for bilge to empty ino the room" any more than the screens you currently use? It's only bilge if you choose to turn on bilge.

And why would it spoil the view? Would you be putting it in the window?

FuzzyPenguin · 15/01/2023 09:30

I am sorry but you sound like a snob, watching things on a TV is no better or worse than watching it on laptops. Feels
like your idea of a living room is where everyone sits and admires your musical skills.

There needs to be a compromise of what you put where as clearly the house does not sound big enough to accommodate all what you wish to have.

My DH plays guitars and also collects them, got to be honest I have no interest in them. He can talk to me for hours about the different tones for each type (4 Taylors 1 Martin and a bunch of others) but I really don’t care. I appreciate the skill it takes to play them but it doesn’t excite me.

Which why went we moved house we made sure to have a room for his music. In the living room we have a TV and a guitar on the wall.

AThousandStarlings · 15/01/2023 09:31

What about using a short throw projector for when you want to watch something on a big screen ? They are brilliant and compact.

midgetastic · 15/01/2023 09:32

Can you not use the office as the
Music room as well ?

I can't imagine playing in the living room unless the house is empty !

RoyalStallion · 15/01/2023 09:33

I went 20 years without a tv in the house, then recently dh wanted a huge one.

It really hasn’t made much difference to my life.

JoonT · 15/01/2023 09:35

I'm pretty close to giving up my TV. 90% of dramas and soaps are unwatchable (just woke propaganda), the news is relentless misery and negativity, and any film I want I can get on DVD. Personally, I prefer youtube, books, podcasts, and video games. I've also got into the habit of laying in the bath listening to audiobooks. God, it's bliss. Laying back with a glass of wine listening to Stephen Fry read P G Wodehouse or Sherlock Holmes is heaven.

I've read that the young hardly watch TV anymore. They seem to prefer video games – and I don't blame them.

RampantIvy · 15/01/2023 09:38

LlynTegid · 15/01/2023 07:42

Your choice, though I'd say some tv is much better on a tv than a laptop screen.

I agree. I hate watching TV/films etc on small screens, and the sound quality isn't great either. I know you can use a headset.

I would far rather sit or loll comfortably on the settee than sit at a table looking at a small screen. Besides, as a family we sometimes all want to sit together and watch something, and watching it on a full sized TV is much nicer.

(Waits for the morally superior to come along and berate me for daring to enjoy watching TV)

Merlinsbeard83 · 15/01/2023 09:39

So you or your partner watch TV on a laptop on the kitchen table ? That's weird . That's something my teenagers do. Just get a tv . It's does it have to be big . Noone over a certain age wants to watch a movie sat at a kitchen table .
They are not evil .
It's so funny how many people say they don't like tvs . But spend hours on ipads ,phones or laptops .
Or buy a bigger house with a room for all your instruments and a room for a TV.

Merlinsbeard83 · 15/01/2023 09:40

Meant it doesn't have to be big

FeinCuroxiVooz · 15/01/2023 09:40

clearly you both need to compromise.

could you agree to a tv that is one of those very expensive ones that are so flat they look like a picture frame and can be hung on the wall and set to be either a mirror, or show a still work-of-art type picture, when the tv is not in use, so that the room doesn't feel like a tv room when it isn't?

And could you arrange the furniture to cordon off a musical "nook" e.g. have instruments on stands in the bay-window area with the sofa in front, so that the room doesn't feel like a music equipment room when it isn't?

gogohmm · 15/01/2023 09:42

I'd prefer a flat screen tv on the wall to a screen on the coffee table! But we like watching tv

Agapornis · 15/01/2023 09:55

"a coffee table in the bay,
six small side tables
two side tables with lamps."

Please enlighten me, what on earth do you need nine tables for?!
Rearrange the room minus eight of the tables, get a smaller TV and put it on the wall rather than in front of the window.