Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to not want a television in the sitting room?

123 replies

angelico53 · 15/01/2023 07:34

We live in a small modern house with a sitting room and a kitchen diner on the ground floor. We haven't had a television for donkeys' years, when we used to have a TV room in a bigger house.

OP posts:
Coffeellama · 15/01/2023 07:58

angelico53 · 15/01/2023 07:50

You don't think I should sulk then?

Are you a child?

Original poster
angelico53 · 15/01/2023 07:58

Gosh! I can't imagine.

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 15/01/2023 07:59

CaptainMyCaptain · 15/01/2023 07:57

Exactly. What's the question.

Show quote history

Oh, there's more. Pity the whole story wasn't in the first post.

LubaLuca · 15/01/2023 08:06

Where are the instruments now? Would they just be on display in the living room, or do you want it set up like a practise room ie the least relaxing living room imaginable?

Would you compromise on a smaller TV to suit the small room?

BestName · 15/01/2023 08:08

Up until we had a baby we went years just having one in the bedroom.

Saved lots of wasted time sitting down watching tv for the sake of it and whilst tv in bed isn't ideal for some people and their sleep we really enjoyed that ultimate chill and relaxation and often meant we had a decent nights sleep as we didn't stay up any longer than we should.

Jollofrice · 15/01/2023 08:09

Solution: They get smaller TV and you can have smaller versions of the instruments too!

toomuchlaundry · 15/01/2023 08:10

Where would the instruments go otherwise?

ShrinesofGaiety · 15/01/2023 08:12

frostygarden · 15/01/2023 07:44

I don't see the difference between watching screen stuff on your laptops or on a TV? Both are equally 'portals to bilge'. The secret is to just not look at the bilge. 😘

This.

Original poster
angelico53 · 15/01/2023 08:13

toomuchlaundry · 15/01/2023 08:10

Where would the instruments go otherwise?

They're stored in a cupboard under the stairs. I would most often have a guitar on a stand, sometimes more than one in the room, depending what I'm doing. I used to have a keyboard on a stand, but I think that was a bridge too far so I rarely use it now.

OP posts:
Mummadeze · 15/01/2023 08:13

i would have a smallish TV on the wall, and the instruments in a corner of another room, sorry!

BeyondMyWits · 15/01/2023 08:21

"Portal for bilge"... just make better choices.

If space is at a premium both sides need to compromise. We have a big, low coffee table (I like a nice coffee table), we also have a monstrosity of a lego hogwarts model on the sideboard in a display case. My DH and kids built it and want it on display...
I hate the look it gives the room. But I love them and understand that they feel differently, so I suck it up.

Original poster
angelico53 · 15/01/2023 08:24

I dunno.

I've been playing guitar for over 50 years, every single day. To me, they are things of great beauty. Just looking at a good instrument brings delight - and also fires imagination and creativity. It being there to be picked up and played is part of a relationship somehow. It's certainly been one of the routes I've taken when developng my playing or writing.

I'm looking around the target room now. It's about 14' x 12', with a modern bay window. Not including a 3 pc suite and a coffee table in the bay, on the floor currently are two big gonks (they are supposed to be door stops, they're about a foot tall); a 2' x 1' plastic basket of dog toys; six small side tables; a dog bed; a footstool; two side tables with lamps.

I've often dreamed of a perfect room, with all the trimmings, like a grand piano, full length windows looking onto park land ... but actually I've loved THIS room for nearly five years. It's warm, welcoming and the place I enjoy playing and being with the family. Pah!

OP posts:
Original poster
angelico53 · 15/01/2023 08:25

BeyondMyWits · 15/01/2023 08:21

"Portal for bilge"... just make better choices.

If space is at a premium both sides need to compromise. We have a big, low coffee table (I like a nice coffee table), we also have a monstrosity of a lego hogwarts model on the sideboard in a display case. My DH and kids built it and want it on display...
I hate the look it gives the room. But I love them and understand that they feel differently, so I suck it up.

I love the sound of the lego!

Or "Legos", as our cousins have it...

OP posts:
Fairislefandango · 15/01/2023 08:27

Solution: They get smaller TV and you can have smaller versions of the instruments too!

Confused Smaller versions of instruments?! So if OP is a guitarist she needs to get rid if her guitar and start playing the ukulele?!

Anyway... if your house is really small, OP, then it seems pretty reasonable to keep instruments in a cupboard if they fit there. Why do they need to be kept out? Having a tv isn't exactly an unreasonable expectation imo, but ut needs to be a size suitable for the room.

Sulking is childish. Come to a compromise like adults.

Original poster
angelico53 · 15/01/2023 08:30

Don't wanna! Wanna sulk!

OP posts:
HelpMeGetThrough · 15/01/2023 08:31

I've been playing guitar for over 50 years, every single day. To me, they are things of great beauty. Just looking at a good instrument brings delight

Agree with this, what makes are the guitars?

Fairislefandango · 15/01/2023 08:32

I've been playing guitar for over 50 years, every single day. To me, they are things of great beauty. Just looking at a good instrument brings delight - and also fires imagination and creativity.

Yes, I get that. But from your partner's pov, having your instruments in a cupboard doesn't actually affect your ability to play when you want to. Not having a tv does affect her ability to watch tv, or watch it in a decent quality format. I don't watch 'bilge', but I wouldn't want to watch films on a crappy little laptop screen.

Highlyflavouredgravy · 15/01/2023 08:33

Get rid of the gonks and 6. Side tables????? Why?

Then you'll have room for a tele AND a guitar and a keyboard.

Leadbridge · 15/01/2023 08:34

The bottom-line seems to be that your house or at least the way it is currently being used (any spare bedrooms that could be used a music room/TV room?) isn't big enough for you both not to have to compromise and even then there probably needs to be a compromise.

DH and I both watch TV and we both play instruments but we still need separate areas we can go to. He's got so many instruments there is little choice but to have them as part of the decor.

Why are you so against hanging guitars on the wall? We've got two hanging on the wall downstairs and several hanging on the wall on the stairs then more in his attic office room. The guitars are DH's and he did have a guitar on a floor stand in the sitting room but I found that pretty irritating for vacuuming reasons - in a smaller house I would've found it super irritating (now all those down stairs are hung on the wall).

I also find DH's need to have a TV in every single room a bit over the top (and the fact that he watches it during the day at the weekend/in the morning) but it is his house too so...I know he finds my piano irritating in the sitting room sometimes (it is a silent piano but even with headphones makes a noise if you are sat in there trying to watch the TV) the compromise is that he watches the TV elsewhere if I'm playing and I don't play when he wants to watch the football or a film in there (best/biggest TV)).

Passthecake30 · 15/01/2023 08:36

I thought most people chill out on the sofa watching tv, some films together etc, sitting at a kitchen table staring separately at tiny screens sounds so isolating.

Womencanlift · 15/01/2023 08:38

You do sound very childish. I was expecting this to be a young person who has just moved into their first home with their partner

It is your partners home too and there needs to be compromise. It’s not your recording studio

Sounds like there is a lot of clutter in your main room that could be taken out for you both to share the space

Sulk if you want but I wouldn’t be putting up with a sulking partner - you really would be childish then

Original poster
angelico53 · 15/01/2023 08:43

Why are you so against hanging guitars on the wall?

I do accept that most people would find this unreasonable. It's a personal thing. They are not flights of plaster ducks, they are carefully set up, beautiful tools, used daily with love.

Ideally, I'd probably have two out at any time - an acoustic (I play a Collings) and an electric (a telecaster). Either of them deserves a sofa. :)

I have a tiny tube amp hidden behind a door, and I use wireless connectors to the telecaster. Neat.

OP posts:
LionsandLambs · 15/01/2023 08:43

Highlyflavouredgravy · 15/01/2023 08:33

Get rid of the gonks and 6. Side tables????? Why?

Then you'll have room for a tele AND a guitar and a keyboard.

This!

And hang the TV on the wall, this is what most people do nowadays- takes up zero space that way.

Original poster
angelico53 · 15/01/2023 08:45

Sulk if you want but I wouldn’t be putting up with a sulking partner - you really would be childish then

Hahaha! Of course I would, you big silly! I'm not being entirely adult about this, for effect.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 15/01/2023 08:45

Have a smaller TV and keep one or two instruments out with the rest put away.

Not including a 3 pc suite and a coffee table in the bay, on the floor currently are two big gonks (they are supposed to be door stops, they're about a foot tall); a 2' x 1' plastic basket of dog toys; six small side tables; a dog bed; a footstool; two side tables with lamps.
This sounds like a lot of stuff. Why on earth do you need foot tall gonks, 6 side tables and two side tables with lamps?

The room needs to be a space that you can both use, not a room full of random furniture and trimmings that looks nice but stops you enjoying your house.