Husband doesn't contribute

[gonewithtthewind]

I'm currently heavily pregnant so probably getting annoyed at things more than I usually would.

He doesn't really do anything around the house, if I ask him he says he'll do it but then it doesn't get done for about 3 days. Like the pots ect. He does the cats litter boxes at the moment as I currently can't and he keeps moaning about it and saying how he can't wait for me to be able to do it again.

One of our cats always wants to be up at 4am, it's always me that has to get up with him. I'm exhausted, he stays in bed until 11/half 11 while I try and sleep on the sofa as the cat won't settle. I've had hardly any sleep, I'm meant to currently be on bed rest, yet I've been awake since half 3 and the cat won't let me sleep! I have pre eclampsia and I've just had a difficult pregnancy. He said he's start locking the cat out when he starts being annoying but he never does, which then wake me up and I don't get back to sleep, so end up getting up with the cat.

Just ranting and so exhausted. 🙁

Get rid of the cat.

Yep.

The man is a lazy and abusive twat who needs dealing with pronto. The cat can wait.

One of our cats always wants to be up at 4am, it's always me that has to get up with him. I'm exhausted, he stays in bed until 11/half 11 while I try and sleep on the sofa as the cat won't settle.

Absolutely daft. Why are you pandering to a cat, how are you going to manage the cat when you have a baby to look after? Bonkers. Lock the cat out of your way before you go to bed, do not get up with the cat in the night, either of you, it’s a cat.

Ursuala
That's really nasty.
There's a pregnant woman who is struggling at the other end of the device.

Martyring

Go away @Ursuala. Your contributions are valueless.

What an absolute prick. He won't change and he obviously couldn't care less about you.
The cat would get short shrift too, if either of my cats did that they would be locked downstairs for the night - I don't do 4am.

Ursuala
There is a woman who is struggling and doesn't need nasty attacks accusing her of risking her unborn child when she's already feeling down.

No woman in her situation who is asking for help and advice is going to be feeling very good so she doesn't need a battering online.

I have pre eclampsia and I've just had a difficult pregnancy. - you have to be very careful here, you must rest. I'm angry on your behalf OP. DH saying he can't wait for you to basically take all the responsibility once baby born.

Tosser he is.

Apologies in advance to any cat lovers but if I were you OP, I'd get the cats re- homed. I don't know how anybody can deal with cat poo and pee. All the best.

Doesn't sound great but people are flawed, I guess

Seriously get to bed, you don't want to risk a premature birth, extremely ill mother or worse.

Why the hell did you have a child with this emotionally abusive shit? Phone his parent/s and let them know what a shite, lazy wanker they brought up.

Very soon you're going to have two babies to care for full time, plus however many cats that have you trained to wait on them!!

Option 1. Have the newborn adopted immediately and go back to your old life with the lazy prick.

Option 2. Dump the baby daddy ASAP and keep the new born.

Either way you're in for a life of single motherhood /drudgery.

And, If he's too lazy to come with you to register the birth, leave his name off the certificate and give newborn your surname.

I won't make any suggestions about what to do with the cats, I'll probably get flamed! But for gods sake don't get any more cats.

OP I agree you seem to have martyr tendencies - stop it and look after yourself. Don’t worry about the house or cat within reason. It’s hard I know, I am the same but everything will be fine if you relax a little bit

i don’t agree with pps saying that your DH can’t change. He can but you have to have higher expectations of him. My DH was the original mollycoddled, never allowed to lift a finger growing up.. he memorably told me he didn’t have tits when I tried to hand him dc1 for a break. But he’s completely different now. I trust him with the dc for any length of time.

jusg have a frank conversation with him, if he wants a family he has to start taking permanent responsibility for stuff. If he isn’t bothered to change you’ll find out in due time. But give him the chance to change by having a conversation with him about it.

Does he actually really understand what pre-eclampsia is and how dangerous for you and the baby?

What do you want to do if he doesn't change? Have you had a proper conversation about his behaviour?

Absolutely . They're cats. Put them out. Shut them in the kitchen. Just don't treat them like infants. You'll have one of those soon enough for real.

I feel so heartless for judging these women that decide to breed with worthless, useless, nasty men that want their mum and a housekeeper, and not a wife.
sorry op, but you made your bed…

Sadly I’m more worried about your poor cat than I am for you, as at least you have a voice, your cat doesn’t. Locked out? What will he do with a crying baby? Lick it out with the cat? Or break his ribs?

It will get worse go for you before it gets better. I’m so sorry you chose a wanker to breed with.

Before you got pregnant he was busily helpful and engaged in housework

Now you are pregnant (with an additional serious health issue) he won't help

If this is true then he is a tosser and I'd get rid

It's only going to get worse

He's a massive dick! I'm so sorry he's treating you like this. He should be literally waiting on u hand and foot in your condition. I hate to say it but he's not likely to get any better when the baby comes. He sounds like an absolute lazy arse so I can imagine he'll be even worse!