Anyone else's DH do this?!

[tiredmama23]

Sort of lighthearted ....

When DH does the Tesco food shop he messages me about 10-15 times over the hour or so he is there. Sends me pictures of different shelves saying "do you want anything from here?" or "which nappies?" and a screenshot of the entire shelf of nappies in Tesco, for example 🙈

The whole point of him doing the shop instead of me is so that I get a break from it and get to chill at home!! Instead I'm spending the whole time answering his texts about what to buy so might as well be in the bloody shop with him 🤷‍♀️ I find myself just replying "honestly whatever you think, just pick one".

Anyone else or just my DH with this annoying as fuck habit?!

Or AIBU and I need to shut up and be grateful he values my input? 😂

Yip!!! I can guarantee he will call within about 15 mins after leaving. There is always an “issue”
He has a list with only a couple of things to get but can also guarantee he’ll forget something 😤
How I manage with a big weekly shop from 2 shops God knows!?

@qpmz No! I meant he never gets the groceries, I do it on my own.

No, because he is not 12.

My husband asks me for a list of things I want before he goes shopping. Then he rings me about 10 times on the way around asking if I want X, Y or Z. I thought I was being mean for being annoyed at it but glad I’m not the only one.

It's probably unusual, but it's the reverse for us. I'm the husband and it's me doing the shopping 95% of the time as the kitchen is my domain at home. I'll often get a text message from Mrs Unicorn while out shopping to buy extra stuff, e.g. paracetamol, deodorant, hair conditioner, whatever that she forgot to tell me before I left. 😂

In all fairness, I do the same when she's out shopping, too. If there's a special offer on something, whoever is shopping might ask the other to check to see if we have space to stock up/will need some soon. However, it'd be very unusual for either of us to be asking the kind of questions being mentioned in this thread.

I usually spend that rare hour lying on the sofa scrolling through my phone as between work, an energetic toddler, and home stuff I don't get the chance to just relax and do nothing very often! But even if I was to say, go for a run in that time, the text notifications would be popping up on my Garmin anyway 🙈 so no escape 😂

Switch off your phone

To those commenting on the incompetence and why doesn't it give me the "ick" etc..... it's because DH has a number of positive qualities and strengths so I take the annoying shit with the good. Much like I'm sure I annoy the shit out of him sometimes. We just seem to have certain areas that are more "our domain". Like if the boiler malfunctioned (which happened over Christmas), I wouldn't even attempt that - he sorted that out. My car also needed new brake discs and pads back in November- garage quoted something ridiculous like £250. DH went out and bought the correct ones for my car and fitted them himself to save us money. He's also a great cook, too and cracks on with making a meal that without need for direction or constant input. For some reason it's just the shopping that he seems to rely heavily on my input for! Not sure what that's about but there you go 🤷‍♀️

Not quite, but I do a meal plan, I then write a list and ask DH if there’s anything he wants me to buy and off I go.

I provide the meal plan for DH (because it’s a 6 week rolling plan and is just a case of pinging the relevant week over). Then he asks me what we need, he writes a list, then he asks me to check the list. Before he leaves he asks if he’s forgotten anything

I just want rid of the mental load!

I honestly think it's his way of being "thorough", as opposed to incompetence. Almost like he's checking in so that all bases have been covered and I don't send him back out for something else later 😂 but that doesn't take away from how irritating it is.

Not quite to the same extent but I generally get a call along the lines of "is there anything else you want before I go and pay?"

I can't really complain because usually there is something I've forgotten.

Mine doesn't do this because I simply don't reply. But I still have to do the shopping myself or else he'll come home with a large jar of pickled cabbage, some japanese tea and a loaf of organic tiger bread, thinking he's done a fantastic job.

How you all continue to have sex with these men is beyond me. If I had my one hour of peace interrupted by constant stupid questions, I'd lose all interest in DH as a man and start thinking of him as a child.

I do meal planning, cooking and 90% of the shopping. But my DH is still perfectly capable of going round the supermarket with a list without calling me 20 times. He knows what brands of tea, coffee, butter, cereal etc we like and use. He has a good sense of volumes and, if there's anything different, I'll specificy on the shopping list. He MIGHT ring me if, for example, there's no butter we like as he knows I'm a bit precious about butter so he'd want me to pick the choice, but if the cereal DS likes isn't available, he's perfectly capable of making a decision on his own and that would go for most things.

The way we do it is one person does the meal plan, the list and goes to the shop. That person makes the list on a shared note on our phones that we both have access to. The other person checks the note and adds anything else they want onto the end. Usually personal things like shampoo, deodorant etc. that the other person wouldn’t know about. We might add on something the other person has missed off.

Then the person doing the shop cracks on.

I have messaged and said for example they don’t have your usual razors do you want an alternative or will it wait. But that’s occasional.

Personally I wouldn’t answer ANY messages from him when he is out shopping. BUT I’d also make sure I didn’t make any comments like “this is the wrong brand of beans” or “why didn’t you get the big pack” etc. because that’s not going to help this dynamic.

Maybe he just wants you to know what he does so you know what to tick off the list 🤷‍♀️ I'm trying to be positive lol

So God ya said that about butter, I am the same woth butter, only eat one kind that is dairy free and no I ain't lactose intolerant I just don't like dairy butter or marg

God no, he loves a good grocery shop. Only time he'll message or send me pictures is if they're out of something I specifically want and he'll check if the alternative is suitable or whatever.

Turn your phone off.

Not married but I am left to make pretty much every trivial decision in my relationship.

I’m afraid I’d ignore all such texts, he can cope alone. I’d find it very annoying. You may as well go instead.

Yes, my DH does this. He cooks for me once every 2 weeks and shops for that meal. He's still phoning me to ask, shall I get this or that? In the end I had to tell him that I actually like cooking and what I don't like is planning endless meals. One mean every 2 weeks that I don't need to think about is as good as it gets!

My OH does most of the shopping as he is retired and I am not. He is usually pretty good at it, but I do give him a detailed list. Even doing that he came back with tuna in brine rather than tuna in spring water last time - so I wish he WOULD ask me! (I sent him back to change it).

Agree. And it's a sneaky way of not letting her have a break. He gets to pretend he's doing a job so she doesn't have to, but she's still having to participate and can't relax. I wouldn't answer though.
@NeverDropYourMooncup he's a keeper!

My DH does this but only when something has run out and he's checking in ok with a swap. He is also a really good cook and so it swings in roundabouts. He will often buy loads more than I would to make something amazing, he doesn't do, 'that will do' with food.