Page 9 | What makes you jealous of other people?

Cuppasoupmonster · 2023-01-12T18:30:55+00:00

Just wondering. I’m jealous of people in good health with high energy levels. I want to be that kind of person so badly 😫

ShandaLear · 13/01/2023 04:11

People who sleep.
People who don’t have a cat that thinks you’re its butler.
People who have their own pool. I love to swim and it would be amazing to just pop downstairs to the pool every morning.

RenovationsUnderway · 13/01/2023 05:10

Thepeopleversuswork · 12/01/2023 20:12

Very little makes me jealous (or envious). I’m old and ugly enough to know that people who look like they have everything rarely do and that I have everything I need for my own happiness inside me. And comparison is the thief of joy.

I may sound like a wanker but life is too short to worry about how you stack up against someone else.

Yes I feel like this. Occasionally I get a small butterfly of envy around people who make a living in the arts; but then I remind myself of all the insecurity and hard work they've endured.

echt · 13/01/2023 05:20

Contemporaries (65+) who have an OH and are still happy together.
I don't want to be in a relationship, IYSWIM, but I miss what I had with my late DH.

The, envy is a better word, is on and off, and right now it's on and I feel sad.

Oblomov22 · 13/01/2023 05:25

Most of our friends have much higher joint incomes than us. We live in the smallest house compared to Ds1's school friends. Suppose that bothers me a bit. Oh well. I sleep a lot and don't have much energy. Doesn't bother me. Can't think of anything really, I'm not that envious, reasonably satisfied.

CheesyCrumpet · 13/01/2023 05:32

People who can knit and crochet.
I come from a family of prolific knitters and crocheters, but put a pair of needles and a ball of wool in my hands and it all goes to pot.
I've tried and tried but to no avail.
My mum sits in her comfy rocking chair, knitting away while watching the TV and barely looks at what she's knitting. So relaxing.
Whereas me, I'm like stab, stab, stab, god I've lost a stitch! It takes me an hour just to badly knit one bloody row!

Flatandhappy · 13/01/2023 05:36

Women who still have their mums alive to go have coffee/lunch with.

verystablegenius · 13/01/2023 05:37

For me, it's people who seem self-assured and determined, particularly when it comes to work and their career.

Duckskitbank · 13/01/2023 05:38

People who grew up with proper parental love and are confident and happy in themselves as a result.

Chocchops72 · 13/01/2023 06:00

This is an odd one but… people who know ‘the system’ and seem to have worked it well. I’ve ended up in a social group with a lot of very well-off, slightly older people. I’m not envious of their wealth, per se, it’s more that I envy them knowing what choices to make that led them into this position. Most of the men went into careers in business, finances, management and are very high earners. Most of the women didn’t work or took pin money / part time jobs to support their OHs. And now their children are well on the way to replicating this level of achievement. Whereas my parents really didn’t know anything about this world, and weren’t able to teach me. DH and I both work in public service jobs, not a lot of money involved.

I’ve always felt on the back foot in terms of ‘getting on’ financially and career wise; I envy people who knew how it worked from an early age.

TwistofFate · 13/01/2023 06:01

Another one for a family who take an interest in one another and enjoy spending time together, mine are all scattered apart and barely make any effort to stay in contact.

People who aren't too scared of failure to take risks, like becoming self-employed or starting a business. I've played it safe with my career and I earn a decent wage but it's not very fulfilling.

HelenHywater · 13/01/2023 06:16

Hoosebag · 12/01/2023 21:55

I'm not really a jealous or envious person which I'm glad about because I think it can make people very unhappy to feel that way. I have a friend who struggles with it and it does cause her pain but it also does spur her on.

When I was much younger I thought I was envious of a friend or frenemy but really I was just very hurt by her treatment of me.

Of course I wish I was prettier or more successful or fitter at times but I don't envy those things in other people. I have other weaknesses but mostly I understand that nobody is perfect and everyone suffers so really there is nothing to envy as your just swapping one set of problems for another. Also maybe I'm just pretty content with my lot and would feel differently in different circumstances. Also I do just want to be me, not anyone else just a better version of myself!

This is me too. I don't feel envious of anyone. I admire people's houses or looks or relationships or whatever but I don't feel envious of them at all. I feel fortunate and happy with my life generally (which is far from perfect - like pp I'm one of the poorer people in my group of friends, with a less nice house, in a less nice area and I'm divorced, but I still feel happy )

emptythelitterbox · 13/01/2023 06:38

CheesyCrumpet · 13/01/2023 05:32

People who can knit and crochet.
I come from a family of prolific knitters and crocheters, but put a pair of needles and a ball of wool in my hands and it all goes to pot.
I've tried and tried but to no avail.
My mum sits in her comfy rocking chair, knitting away while watching the TV and barely looks at what she's knitting. So relaxing.
Whereas me, I'm like stab, stab, stab, god I've lost a stitch! It takes me an hour just to badly knit one bloody row!

It takes a lot of practice that's for sure.

If you do a bit and give up and later do a bit and give up you never build that muscle memory over time.

I did this for years with drawing until finally someone pulled me up on it and I decided I really wanted to do it and practiced every day regardless of how much I sucked.

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 13/01/2023 08:16

People who can crouch and stand back up again
other things too but already been mentioned

jobsearchbegins2023 · 13/01/2023 11:28

People who are successful, slim and just genuinely happy and lovely for and to everyone.
Admittedly, I'm in the midst of an epic self pity party at the minute and am feeling all 'woe is me' but, when will my really good luck start?!

Scalottia · 13/01/2023 11:47

I am not a jealous person, what a pointless emotion. I don't really look at other people and want what they have. I do think OP has a point though regarding health - I think that's one thing I would envy if I had poor health. Even then though, being envious doesn't help you or change things. It's a bit of a toxic emotion because it doesn't bring you any happiness.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 13/01/2023 11:59

Scalottia · 13/01/2023 11:47

I am not a jealous person, what a pointless emotion. I don't really look at other people and want what they have. I do think OP has a point though regarding health - I think that's one thing I would envy if I had poor health. Even then though, being envious doesn't help you or change things. It's a bit of a toxic emotion because it doesn't bring you any happiness.

No, but being in constant pain and disabled doesn't bring me happiness either

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 13/01/2023 12:03

People who can dance. I'm uptight and self-conscious.
People who don't work and can afford not to.
People who have someone to share the bills with.

Scalottia · 13/01/2023 12:05

What does being jealous bring though? Relief? I even said myself that I can understand being envious of good health. My mother died when I was a child, does it help me to be jealous of everyone who still has their mum?

Original poster

Cuppasoupmonster · 13/01/2023 12:58

Scalottia · 13/01/2023 12:05

What does being jealous bring though? Relief? I even said myself that I can understand being envious of good health. My mother died when I was a child, does it help me to be jealous of everyone who still has their mum?

But feelings aren’t ‘helpful’. They’re just natural human states - anger, resentment, jealousy, greed.. all healthy to feel in small amounts, we’re not robots. If most people look they’ll see they have something that makes other people jealous of them so it all equals out really.

OP posts:

whumpthereitis · 13/01/2023 13:15

Cuppasoupmonster · 13/01/2023 12:58

But feelings aren’t ‘helpful’. They’re just natural human states - anger, resentment, jealousy, greed.. all healthy to feel in small amounts, we’re not robots. If most people look they’ll see they have something that makes other people jealous of them so it all equals out really.

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I think it exists on a spectrum, like most if not all emotions. Some will experience it more than others. I don’t recall feeling jealousy. That isn’t to say I lack the capacity for it or think myself special, I just haven’t had it triggered so far. If you haven’t experienced something it’s hard to understand it, or it’s value I guess.

Scalottia · 13/01/2023 13:20

I don't recall ever being jealous of anyone. Honestly.

Notreallyhappy · 13/01/2023 13:24

A Confident in any room person. I so wish I knew what to say...

Original poster

Cuppasoupmonster · 13/01/2023 13:28

whumpthereitis · 13/01/2023 13:15

I think it exists on a spectrum, like most if not all emotions. Some will experience it more than others. I don’t recall feeling jealousy. That isn’t to say I lack the capacity for it or think myself special, I just haven’t had it triggered so far. If you haven’t experienced something it’s hard to understand it, or it’s value I guess.

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I would call myself an averagely jealous person, it’s never consumed me and I can acknowledge what I do have which outweighs what I don’t, overall I’m lucky. It’s just set off by bad days health wise (I think anyone with a ‘condition’ will probably feel the same at points).

OP posts:

funnyoldonion · 13/01/2023 13:40

People who have an ‘easy’ way about them, I’m such an awkward twat!

Penguinsaregreat · 13/01/2023 13:49

I would like to reassure parents of ‘difficult’ children.
I had this. Whilst other young children seemed content to sit/play/entertain themselves, dd never did. She constantly needed me/attention. Made harder by the fact I did not have lots of help from family.
It was a hard slog. Everything she did needed a reason or explanation. The same as a young adult, very highly strung. Perhaps she has ADHD but because she is very clever and after a lot of effort we’ll behaved this was never flagged.
Anyhow cut to the chase.What a thoughtful, intelligent, kind and successful person she has become. Very high achieving in a well paid job. Successful in every interview she has ever had. Promoted very quickly at work. Earns far more than I ever have and goes for what she wants.
So there is a silver lining.