House sale, 3 adult children, 1 with nowhere to go

[MakeMineALarge1]

So MIL passed away, she had 3 children ( all children 50 yrs +), I am married to one of them
Adult 1 - I am married to, both him and me in good jobs, 1 dependant child
Adult 2 - Single, decent job, mortgage free
Adult 3 - Single - never had a real job, works hard but plays hard and has never settled down, spend half the year skiing and then comes back lives with mum and goes back again in the winter

MIL passed away, house being kept on as if sold, child 3 will effectively be homeless ( they do have 2 children who both have homes and lots of friends, so wouldn't be on the street ) but he cannot buy the other 2 out and cannot afford to keep the house on his self - the house isn't worth a great deal, say £180,000 ball park figure, so if sold and split equally only £60,000 each, which wouldn't be enough to buy him a place, but would cover rent for a good while until i presume benefits kick in?

Adult 1 and 3 are not pushing for the sale and they will not see number 3 homeless, but this can't go on forever ( its all very recent) I am not getting involved, but would be interested in knowing what others think.

Also this situation very much mirrors my own family with my sibling being very much like adult 3 and I may be facing this conundrum in the future.

I’m not the only poster who thinks this, but I am in a minority.

I expect one reason I’m in the minority is because you started the thread loaded from the start with the implication (then incorrected) that he just pisses off for a 6 month ski trip every year.

Had to laugh at your classic MN response when someone disagrees, “you seem very angry”. Because anyone who disagrees with you must be acting emotionally and disproportionately?

If a woman on here posted that when she disagrees with her husband he always tells her she “seems very angry” she’d be told that’s a nasty way of trying to undermine them and shut them down 🤷🏻‍♀️

So no, not angry: I’m 🙄 not 😡

I think you have misrepresented this man.
I also think taking to the internet to enjoy the negative comments about him 6 weeks after his mother’s death when he’s already suggested himself that the brothers meet is… not reflecting well on you.

Dial back the internet drama, beak out, let the siblings deal with it - is my advice.

It can take a fair amount of time for the legal paperwork to go through, during this time it can't be sold so adult 3 paying the bills for the house and living there cos doing the others a favour, and 3 should jointly pay for any urgent repairs. Once probate is granted the house should be sold but I suspect we are talking around a years time, giving them time to make plans

No read full thread but have you actually asked adult 3 what they plan to do? I'm guessing he'll have known some day his mum would die and there would need to be plans for how he would live. If he hasn't made plans its not your problem.

If you don't sell sibling 3 will have rights, I would sell now.

Sounds like you can't wait for his chickens to come home to roost and you will finally be rewarded for your sensible life choices.

I agree with @Testina so she's not the only one who thinks you've come off badly.

I don't think I'm being dramatic
I'm not causing arguments
@MichaelAndEagle it may come across like that, but like I've said, any money will go to our children

You're both entitled to your opinion
I'm not involved in any discussion with the siblings around the house
I was gleaning opinions

You can get an executor removed if they aren't executing in a timely fashion, although it seems a bit of a grey area as to how long is too long. I would have thought 7 years would be too long. I haven't done it myself though so don't know if it's expensive.

It's very expensive and it's usually a reasonable time is just below seven years, because if you want to gift your share, which I did to one DD, it's more complex after seven years. We were threatening her with legal action but she knew that Covid meant it wouldn't have happened. She's just been on a massive power trip.

Would there be an option for adult 1 and 2 to buy out adult 3 of his share, so they then jointly own the house. Then rent it back to adult 3 with a proper rental agreement but at a nominal rent?

That way the property can be sold later, adult 1 and 2 split the sale 50/50 and adult 3 gets his 'share' of the money now and the option to stay in the house for another x number of years paying lower rent. (and all bills etc when he isn't there)

@Bookworm20 They are all in their early 50's so we could be in this situation in 30 years. Also if say the house is worth 180,000 we don't have that sort of money to buy him out.
If however we did and he didn't pay rent, we are then left with trying to evict him - not something they would be comfortable doing

Yes that would likely create more problems than it solves. If adult 3 cannot afford to buy/rent in the uk for those 6 months, can he not just stay abroad at the ski resort all year or buy/rent something there if property is cheaper.

If he comes back to the uk and works for the 6 months he is here, surely he can afford a small mortgage, along with his 60,000ish deposit on an apartment or small house?

Failing that, if he still wants to come back to the uk for 6 months, he'll have to just rent an airbnb or something, or even a static caravan on a holiday site.

Its an awkward situation for sure. No one wants to just make him homeless as such, but at the same time why should adult 1 and 2 subsidise adult 3's lifestyle by ending up paying towards maintenance etc on a house they can't sell, especially given his age!

My brother in law is the same. 40 this year and still living like a child with his mother who is in her 70s. He pays for nothing even though he earns around 24k.
If she needs to go into care in the future (she lives too far away for us to care for her) I think the flat will be sold at that point to pay for her care. If she dies without going into care then we will insist that he moves out so it can be sold or he can buy us out. He's lived for free his whole life as well as having large inheritances. He also has hundreds spent on him every Christmas and birthday while my H gets a crappy fiver gift. He won't even put in for a meal when we eat out with them, he sits like a child waiting for her to pay.

Make him move into the real world. It might do him good!

Yep, exactly. Two of us moved out, married and bought houses and raised families, one stayed at home and “helped” our widowed mother manage her investments. They were split three ways on her death, only the house and contents weren’t. But we aren’t going to challenge it so that’s the way it is.

He could use his £60k to buy a decent chunk of a shared ownership property, and rent the remainder. If not working, he could get UC to cover the rent, although he would (rightly) get pressed to find a job.

However, he wouldn't be able to get UC while out of the country for more than a couple of weeks, so he'd have to stick it on Air BNB for that period, or cover it by working in a bar or something.

You’ve been eminently reasonable and respectful here OP.

@Peasepuddingbloodycold thank you

There is a will, all 3 children are executors, the will states the house is to be sold, but she had always said that adult 3 mustn't be turfed out onto the streets,

If the will says the house is to be sold, then the house should be sold. If she wanted to, she could have had the will written so that brother 3 had the right to live in the house for his lifetime. but she didn’t.

So she has left it relying on the good will of the siblings. Never a great idea.

Its perfectly possible to have a firm idea about what needs to happen over 6 weeks. It's a 15 minute discussion about what each party wants to happen and a decision to move forward if there is a consensus or a decision to move to the next stage, like instructing mediation or legal advice if there isnt.

Sometimes people surprise you. The brother may jump at the idea of a cash sum to burn through. What happens after that isnt anyone else's responsibility.

I still don’t understand the problem, tbh. No one is ending up on the street. Everyone will get a chunk of money when the house is sold and the resident sibling can use his share to rent somewhere while he sorts himself out.

An update. The son who was living in France, is now back and he's said he can't afford to live there, but as he has no savings etc he wants some time to live there, rent free so he can save up
I am not happy at this my husband isn't neither if being honest, but keeps saying what can he do?
My argument is he has never saved up in his life, why will he do it now? We just have to sit and wait until he saves up....... where as we could sell it and all have a decent chunk each.

What does the will say and who are the executors?

@MakeMineALarge1 Don't do it, sort it ASAP. Usually , in cases like that, right moment never comes. He won't save and will blame cost of living crisis. You'll never see your inheritance, while he'll keep on living easy life. Tackle this now.

So who does he think is going to be paying his bills whilst he lives rent free ? He’s a CF and it needs putting on the market ASAP .