Stay Grey or Colour Again?

[Sunnydaysareontheirway]

I've spent a year growing out my colour. I'm 50 and am now almost grey all over, and its getting me down as I look like a wild old scary witch.

I left an abusive relationship over Covid and have noticed I've been ignored and avoided by quite a lot of the parents at my childs school. I sort of it get it, people feel awkward with abuse and that's just the way the world works. He's taken over the friendships we had as a couple. So im feeling a bit down about that and unconfidant in myself post relationship too.

But then my other child has just started reception and I thought maybe I could make some new friends but I just feel SO old.... SO, I'm wondering whether its my grey hair that's putting people off, they were friendly at first but they had a lot of meetups in the evenings before Christmas and as a single parent I couldnt go - no money for babysitters and have kids full time. Or maybe they could think I'm an older confidant mum with a child in an older class and so wouldn't fit into their friendship group....

I was brunette a long time ago, had highlights in my 30s to cover greys and then gradually had my roots done more regularly and by the time I hit 50, although I never had an all over full colour job done my hair was all over dyed. Realised I was spending a fortune in time and money on having my roots done monthly but they were showing fortnightly so then had all the faff of spraying the roots and covering up the grey. OMG what a bloody faff.

Decided to grow it out and I am almost white at the front and its darker at the back. So its not a glamorous type of grey hair. My hair is also pretty unkempt in its style, wild, I'm half Italian so it has a life of its own, bit wirey, never looks tidy. Because of my heritage I look quite young for my age, skinwise, but now my hair is grey I can look like an old scary witch, and that's on a good day....

Question is:
Should I just dye it back and feel like ME again?

What are other people's experiences?
I do enjoy not having to go to the hairdressers as much and the expense but I just don't feel like me. At first it felt liberating but now I just feel old and like Im on a downward slope to old age....maybe I should colour again and do the whole grey thing when I've got my life back on track and have made some friends again..

me neither and if you have it done at the hairdressers properly there is no problem always looks good.

Grey is ageing. 50 is too young.

I am confident in myself.

I just don’t want grey hair. Just as I don’t want green or pink hair.

Trouble is roots come through for me after 3 weeks and it is expensive to maintain

I think my hair is thicker without the dye

Mine do too. My hair grows ridiculously fast.

I can’t afford a salon, so I do dye at home. I use just a “brown” though. Nothing fancy so it look’s completely natural as is the same as my natural colour and suits my skin tone.

Grey is ageing.

Look at the pictures I posted. It can be but often isn’t.

I’m 56 and have let my hair go completely grey. Still got some natural brown coming through too actually, but not for much longer I think.

It might be more aging than when I dyed it dark brown I suppose, I dunno. I just didn’t want to go into my late 50s/60s with that block dark dyed hair look - which doesn’t always look better or younger at all imho.

You could try grey blending, but you’ll need to find a real pro for this. Basically you leave some of your grey as natural highlights and pull darker hair through. It’s really pretty if done well.

I’m also half-Italian, with olive skin, and 90 percent grey hair. I color it because, like you, my skin is fantastic and barely has any wrinkles, so I pass for 35 even though I’m 45, but the grey instantly makes me 55. I’m not down for that—not yet.

It looks lovely @PuppyMonkey, it sets off your great skin and beautiful eyes.

I'm 58 and absolutely don't feel I look old or past it . My hair is still very dark at the back and I have a dark streak running through the top too . I don't usually wear it this curly,( or wear a flower in it ) but I was at a disco party . I'm extremely comfortable and confident in my silver .

Vicliz24 - that looks absolutely fantastic!
I'm 77, Six months ago, I decided to ditch the increasingly expensive hairdressers that I had used for decades, because I just wanted a change.
I did, went to a local one who did a brilliant cut and I'm gradually growing out all the colours and welcoming the increase of grey.
I've had lots of compliments and absolutely love it!

Viola and Puppy

You both look fab

I'm a similar age

Well, I decided to embrace the grey over 20 years ago, having been mousy with highlights, which became too much effort to maintain. I’m now 76, and LOVE my silver hair, having gone for a short cut. The photo I’m adding was actually taken 10 years ago, just after I had had it cut, and it was darker than it is now, a lovely silver. I’ve had many compliments about it, even asking what colour I used, but it’s all natural. I do wear makeup though, as your skin tone fades as you age, and I always wear a bright lipstick, which really lifts your face. So, below was taken in 2013:

I'd say colour it. Not because I dislike grey but because it sounds like it's what you want!

I think you reach an age when your natural colour is more flattering as sometimes the coloured hair can be harsh and highlights your lines especially if you are 70+

No advice on your hair but I found it really difficult to make friends at the school gates as a single mum. Lots of the meet ups were bbqs and nights at each others houses with partners- I couldn’t understand why I was being left out - the only thing different was just I was recently single. Lots of people feel threatened by single women I’m afraid.

As name suggests: and a v young work colleague complemented me on it recently. I hate it when the colour/cut doesn’t match the face anymore.
Rather than go back to some idea of the ‘old’ you, use the time and money you’d spend on dyeing on creating a new you to bounce into your 50s with confidence. Makeup, colours that work on me are different from when I was still dyeing mine.
As someone said upthread things such as scarves, good jewellery and necklines are more important as your hair becomes a bit more of a background feature. It’s taken a while but I think I have found my new style now and one that will hopefully work until I am old

If you are 50 with a child in Reception, then I’m afraid you do look older than lots of the other mums.

Societal pressure…..sure, but if I were you I’d keep dyeing my hair.

I’m 46 btw and hate the hassle of dyeing but it is honestly very ageing to not do so.

I ditched the colour at 46 having coloured since I went grey in my twenties. I fucking love it now. It’s so liberating not to have to worry about regrowth, nor to fit in 3 hr appointments every month. Grey is just a colour. If it suits your complexion, it won’t age you any more than a colour that’s too dark and severe (however old you are).

Get a good cut / restyle and some conditioning treatments. Do one small thing to help you meet new people. Do two or three things to nurture and care for yourself - you absolutely deserve it. And then, if you still don’t feel like ‘you’, go back to colouring your hair, no regrets.

It’s time to put yourself first, and with the support of lots of internet strangers behind you 🙂

You're beautiful.

I am a similar age to you. My grey is horrible. Still very dark dull brown in places, grey in others and white in others. I have tried to go grey gracefully twice and I looked hideous. I had just a few highlights yesterday, a good chop and a toner and I feel (and feel like I look) a million times better! My long term plan is to go grey but I don’t think my hair is quite ready!!!

Thank you . I'm glad your grow out is going well .

Disregarding the relationship etc grey hair makes you look old is that simple, I don’t care what anyone says and how soft and light is their beautiful greys , you still look like a grandmother, everything has their time and 50 is too early for grey hair

There are photographs in today's Mailonline of Dawn French in three different colours of hair, including silvery grey. It was interesting to see.

Oh gosh! You’ve made my day @ReneBumsWombats! I’m 10 years older now, but I try to make an effort with my appearance, although everything seems to be going south now!

Well I am a grandmother so there you go😀

It did influence my decision and lock down helped