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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Potential Nanny has history of drug use

138 replies

Snuggy75 · 12/01/2023 09:54

We are currently recruiting for a new wrap-around care nanny for my primary school age kids and I have been made aware that one of the candidates (who has great references, gets on great with the kids) has a history of using cocaine and has got at least one police caution for it approx 18 months ago. Her DBS has currently run out apparently so I do not have any evidence of this yet.

AIBU to still consider employing this person - I don't know if they are still using?

My heart says absolutely no to looking after my kids with any connection to drugs and if they were really young I wouldn't even be considering it, my head says we have all done stuff in the past we may not be proud of and is cocaine really that much worse than getting really really drunk (I genuinely don't know the answer to this)?

Definitely need to get updated DBS, but if that does come back showing the caution - what should I do?

YABU - do not let this person near your children
YANBU - don't rule her out until you know more

OP posts:
Comedycook · 12/01/2023 09:55

I wouldn't. 18 months ago isn't that long ago.

AthenaPopodopolous · 12/01/2023 09:55

No you can’t trust her implicitly. It’s not that long ago either.

MolesOnPoles · 12/01/2023 09:56

This isn’t ‘in her past’ it’s 18 months ago. And the prevarication about the DBS suggests she’s a liar.

You would be insane to leave a child with her.

Peach2021 · 12/01/2023 09:57

I was initially going to say "we've all done daft things" as you said yourself, but 18 months ago is really not far in the past...

I'd also be wary that someone who does this type of work allows her DBS to run out...that doesn't sound promising.

MaryMcCarthy · 12/01/2023 09:57

Many people do drugs in their youth.

People with police records for drugs in their youth are the careless ones.

Bear that in mind.

DialsMavis · 12/01/2023 10:00

No, it is too recent and also assume it must be quite a large amount or she hangs out with dealers etc for her to receive a caution?

GerbilsForever24 · 12/01/2023 10:01

The problem is you don't know. I'd be more concerned that she doesn't have an advanced DBS because that does rather suggest that she can't get one.

Also, under what conditions do you get a caution for cocaine use? Because as someone who has known occasional users and has drug addicts in the family, I can ASSURE you that there is a big difference between the two. The people I know who have taken cocaine occasionally at parties etc are people that I would have absolutely no concerns about leaving my children with - any more than I'd have an issue leaving my children with someone who has been drunk - but the addict... well, he' been clean for 4 or 5 years but I'm still hesitant. The personality type is one of unreliability and unwilingness/inability to take responsibility or be accountable and that's often true of many addicts and it can take a long time of being clean before things change.

Lostinthecoop · 12/01/2023 10:01

Eh no! Just no! Sole care of your kids? Driving them about? It’s also potentially not just a bit of casual use but use which has in some way brought her to police attention.

I’d have thought sole care of children would mean enhanced dbs so convictions are never spent. Also even on a normal dbs convictions don’t get spent in that time so should show. Is that what you mean by run out?

Be careful if it’s not on her dbs then you are dealing with rumour and hearsay.

Finalcountdown2022 · 12/01/2023 10:03

Comedycook · 12/01/2023 09:55

I wouldn't. 18 months ago isn't that long ago.

This. If it was a decade ago it might be a different matter but 18 months ago is far too recently

Nimbostratus100 · 12/01/2023 10:03

18 months ago! SO at least as recently as 2021 she was using cocaine!?

I dont consider that to be in the past.

If it was 30 years ago, I would consider that to be in the past

Nimbostratus100 · 12/01/2023 10:04

Have you asked her? WHat does she say about this?

avamiah · 12/01/2023 10:06

No,

inigomontoyahwillcox · 12/01/2023 10:06

18 months ago? Hell no. Maybe 10 years ago (most of us have made some stupid decisions in our youth - I know I did), but not that recently. If it was that recently that she was cautioned I would imagine she's still using.

helloelsie · 12/01/2023 10:06

YABU

look for someone else. This is your children we are talking about. You need to always put them first and this is one risk you don't need to take.

Original poster
Snuggy75 · 12/01/2023 10:16

Thanks all - the vibe I am getting here definitely backs up my gut reaction!

I only found out about it this morning through a mutual acquaintance so no I haven't spoken to the nanny about it yet.

OP posts:
shewolfsout · 12/01/2023 10:16

She wouldn't be allowed to work with children in an education setting etc. until it's been 6 years and is eligible for filtering, which seems a reasonable amount of time. Eg. A 19 year old gets a caution for drug possession at a rave, she sees it as a wake up call and takes her life in a new direction. By the time she's 25/26 years old she has a young child and wants to start working in the nursery or running a local play group.
That seems fair to me, it gives people the opportunity to take their lives in a different direction and doesn't keep them permanently restricted for a caution, enabling them to participate as full citizens again, but also reflects that it is a serious thing to happen and there does need to be a reasonable time pass before that person can be shown to be consistently rehabilitated from that previous path they were on. There is a balance between giving people a fair chance, and keeping people safe, and I think 6 years is a reasonable amount of time, whereas 18 months is not long enough and a big gamble especially when it comes for your kids.

Nicecow · 12/01/2023 10:21

Why are you even asking Hmm

shewolfsout · 12/01/2023 10:25

If the Nanny hasn't told you, somebody else has, and you haven't seen it on a DBS, how do you know that it's true? I would want to speak to the Nanny and see the DBS first not go off of hearsay

MaryMcCarthy · 12/01/2023 10:25

DialsMavis · 12/01/2023 10:00

No, it is too recent and also assume it must be quite a large amount or she hangs out with dealers etc for her to receive a caution?

No, you simply need to be in possession for a caution.

"Hanging out with dealers" isn't against the law and if she had a large amount she'd have received more than a caution.

watcherintherye · 12/01/2023 10:26

Make sure you see her DBS, and make sure it’s an Enhanced DBS, which is what nurseries. care homes, anywhere involving care of vulnerable people, would demand. I may be wrong, but I believe the Enhanced DBS is the only one which would show cautions. The basic DBS just shows convictions.

UnaVaca · 12/01/2023 10:28

18 months, are you insane?

shewolfsout · 12/01/2023 10:33

Basic DBS shows unspent convictions only (so those eligible to become spent will not be shown)
Standard DBS shows unspent and spent convictions and cautions (except those which are eligible for filtering)
Enhanced shows unspent and spent convictions and cautions (except in those which are eligible for filtering) and any additional police information.

Some enhanced positions are exempt from the filtering rule, such as police roles and certain child protection roles. However, most childcare positions are not exempt from the filtering rule, so in the case of a caution this would be filtered after 6-11 years as its eligible for filtering (in this case it's eligible after 6 years I believe).

6 years seems pretty reasonable, but 18 months isn't great. If it's true, which I would want to know it is for sure.

I think you need to apply for the DBS, she can apply for a basic DBS herself but this won't show cautions, but she can't apply for her own enhanced DBS, only her employer or potential employer can do that.

shewolfsout · 12/01/2023 10:34

The only way she can get it herself is to go via a nannying agency, where they are eligible to do the enhanced DBS as the employer

BobbyBleu · 12/01/2023 10:36

18 months ago is way too recent and remember that's the time she got caught. She could have still been using it 3 months ago for all you know.

I'm all for people rehabilitating and moving on but I think more time is needed.

Nogbreaks · 12/01/2023 10:38

She may be clean as a whistle but her enhanced DBS wouldn’t be clear - so no.