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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Potential Nanny has history of drug use

138 replies

Snuggy75 · 12/01/2023 09:54

We are currently recruiting for a new wrap-around care nanny for my primary school age kids and I have been made aware that one of the candidates (who has great references, gets on great with the kids) has a history of using cocaine and has got at least one police caution for it approx 18 months ago. Her DBS has currently run out apparently so I do not have any evidence of this yet.

AIBU to still consider employing this person - I don't know if they are still using?

My heart says absolutely no to looking after my kids with any connection to drugs and if they were really young I wouldn't even be considering it, my head says we have all done stuff in the past we may not be proud of and is cocaine really that much worse than getting really really drunk (I genuinely don't know the answer to this)?

Definitely need to get updated DBS, but if that does come back showing the caution - what should I do?

YABU - do not let this person near your children
YANBU - don't rule her out until you know more

OP posts:
Original poster
Snuggy75 · 12/01/2023 13:46

To clarify - the potential nanny has been out of childcare for a while and this has happened whilst employed elsewhere.
The informant is not working in or looking for childcare. They were working with the potential nanny when the police got involved. I do not think jealousy is an issue here.
Next step is for me to speak to the potential nanny about getting her DBS and see if she raises anything. There is still a chance it could be hearsay but it will take several weeks if I need to wait for the DBS (which i believe can be done a part of the Ofsted registration process).

OP posts:
oudie · 12/01/2023 13:48

Snuggy75 · 12/01/2023 13:46

To clarify - the potential nanny has been out of childcare for a while and this has happened whilst employed elsewhere.
The informant is not working in or looking for childcare. They were working with the potential nanny when the police got involved. I do not think jealousy is an issue here.
Next step is for me to speak to the potential nanny about getting her DBS and see if she raises anything. There is still a chance it could be hearsay but it will take several weeks if I need to wait for the DBS (which i believe can be done a part of the Ofsted registration process).

This is so bizarre. Why are you not just putting this one off the list? Find someone else. Mad.

shewolfsout · 12/01/2023 13:48

Ofsted require schools to enhanced DBS everyone who works there, so I imagine that they have similar processes for nannies and childminders as well. If you need her to be Ofsted registered and she wouldn't currently pass an enhanced DBS (even if she did previously, or will eventually once it's filtered) then that could mean that she CANT work for you and be a much easier reason, than leaving it to your discretion. Is she going through a nanny agency?

She can't get an enhanced DBS herself so don't trust any DBS she gives you, she needs a new one to work as a nanny for you.

BungleandGeorge · 12/01/2023 13:51

is the expectation that nannies have a DBS to show at interview? (Presumably they can use the update service?). Or is it common to employ them and then have to apply/ wait etc? Do you have other applicants with the correct paperwork? If you have other potential employees with everything in order I think it would be wise to choose one of them. Otherwise you’ll be in the position of losing the other applicants and having to advertise again. Personally no I wouldn’t take someone with a caution 18 months ago, it’s far too recent

Busybody2022 · 12/01/2023 13:56

18 months is too recent. My mum is 6 years sober and I still don't trust her 100% and I know her well enough to know immediately if she's drinking again.

Decafflatteplease · 12/01/2023 13:57

That would be a firm no from me.

SomethingOriginal2 · 12/01/2023 14:00

If someone got a police caution 18mo for being drunk and disorderly I wouldn't hire them to look after children. I wouldn't even consider her, you have no idea how bad her drug problem is but you know she has one.

StuckInTheUpsideDown · 12/01/2023 14:00

I interviewed a nanny candidate who flagged she had a conviction that would come up on a DBS. However she was up front, it was relatively old and she had a reasonable explanation of how the situation arose, how she had learnt and moved on etc. I would not have ruled her out because of that but would have done extra diligence.

However 18 months would be far too recent for my tastes.

Ladybyrd · 12/01/2023 14:07

Give her a chance working in an office - yes. Give her a chance looking after my kids - not a chance.

We all have a past, but no. Just no.

flimsyclam · 12/01/2023 14:14

No way not in a million years would I.

Dotjones · 12/01/2023 14:17

No I wouldn't employ someone who'd been using cocaine in the last 18 months. It's not just like getting drunk.

parsniiips · 12/01/2023 14:18

If it was like 18 years ago and everything else felt right I'd be inclined to give her a chance.

18 months.

No way.

TheLostNights · 12/01/2023 14:19

No chance. Why take the risk? You have to be able to trust this person 100% and already there are doubts. Just don't do it.

longwayoff · 12/01/2023 14:20

As pp @Snuggy75 there are plenty of nannies available who will not bring you potential problems. Stop entertaining the idea of employing her, the children deserve more consideration from you.

Emmelina · 12/01/2023 14:24

If it was 18 years ago and they’ve been clean since, absolutely.

18 months, not on your life!

purplepencilcase · 12/01/2023 14:26

No we've not all done things like this on the past! No way would I even consider her.

KarmaStar · 12/01/2023 14:26

Always rely on your instincts.

Conkersinautumn · 12/01/2023 14:29

History isn't ever the word with drug use. Move on.

Monoprix · 12/01/2023 15:14

I would not employ a druggie. I hate them. I don’t care if they come from respectable backgrounds and hold down jobs and raise families. Fuckers.

HelloJan · 12/01/2023 15:23

I wouldn't. 18 months ago is very recent. If it was 18 years that would have been different.

HelloJan · 12/01/2023 15:28

You know most people have at least tried cocaine ...
The majority of people I know are regular users ( teachers and nurses mainly ). They are looking after children every day safely

That's BS. Only people who use drugs themselves think that everyone else does too.

ChildminderMum · 12/01/2023 15:29

18 months is present not history.

I'd definitely find out from the nanny/DBS though rather than rely on gossip.

NumericalBlock · 12/01/2023 15:31

The DBS thing is a red herring, mine lapsed and because I'm not part of a company or school I cannot get another enhanced one until my company has been registered, so as long as hers was fairly recent and she contacted local nanny agencies about getting a new one I'd be unphased by that.

The drugs would be an issue for me, within 18months is not 'in the past' enough for me to be comfortable.

Untitledsquatboulder · 12/01/2023 15:34

You know most people have at least tried cocaine

You keep telling yourself that hun.

Mumsanetta · 12/01/2023 15:34

Christ, why is this even a question when it was 18 months ago? Is it really that hard to find a good nanny in your area that you would question this? The standard of parenting on MN is enlightening.

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