Potential Nanny has history of drug use

[Snuggy75]

We are currently recruiting for a new wrap-around care nanny for my primary school age kids and I have been made aware that one of the candidates (who has great references, gets on great with the kids) has a history of using cocaine and has got at least one police caution for it approx 18 months ago. Her DBS has currently run out apparently so I do not have any evidence of this yet.

AIBU to still consider employing this person - I don't know if they are still using?

My heart says absolutely no to looking after my kids with any connection to drugs and if they were really young I wouldn't even be considering it, my head says we have all done stuff in the past we may not be proud of and is cocaine really that much worse than getting really really drunk (I genuinely don't know the answer to this)?

Definitely need to get updated DBS, but if that does come back showing the caution - what should I do?

YABU - do not let this person near your children
YANBU - don't rule her out until you know more

This thread is slightly depressing. This could be just total BS and hearsay and a woman’s livelihood could be ruined because people CBA doing basic fact checking.

Find out about her DBS. Google her name and your town name to see if the local news reported on her (which is likely). Stop listening to gossip.

I also agree most people have tried cocaine and I don’t know why this upsets people. Or why people who’ve tried cocaine once or twice are considered ‘druggies’. It’s like calling you an alcoholic for having booze every now and again.

It would be a definite no from me.

You're hiring someone to care for your children, not a cleaner or secretary.

Agree with these others. I don't necessarily think very occasional cocaine use in a younger person is an automatic dealbreaker but with the police caution and so recently it's just not worth it. There must be other candidates.

18 months ago isn't very long. If it was 5+ years ago I'd feel differently.
That said, are you sure it's true? Could metal friend be wrong? I'd speak to her and see what she says

This would be a hard no from me.

And yes, imo, there is a massive difference between alcohol and c.

Your priority is to safeguard your children.

Do that.

18 months ago is nothing! 10 + years ago fine but NO way

And yes, imo, there is a massive difference between alcohol and c.

Not for me. If it was drink driving or drunk and disorderly, it would also be a no. Most people drink alcohol. If a nanny takes drugs or drinks in her time, and it doesn't affect her work, that's none of my business. Police involvement suggests a habit that's out of control, and now you know about it, you can't really trust her.

Cocaine is illegal, so incomparable to alcohol.
that aside, frankly I’m shocked you even need to ask, aren’t your children worth more than this?

If this was something that was 18 years ago then maybe but certainly not when only 18 months ago

Using cocaine is illegal; she's willing to break the law. She chose to take a risk. Engage with drug dealers. Are those values you want round your kids, in your home when you're not there?

It was only 18 months ago. How long has she been a nanny? Was she a nanny when she was caught with cocaine? Did her previous employers know she had a criminal record for drugs.... or did she hide that from them? You should check that with them. She might have faked those great references.

As an employer and LL, I've encountered many people who submitted fake references; from jobs they'd never had, from employers who'd never heard of them, from colleges they had never attended.

To all those questioning my parenting choices - of course I would never put my children at risk. Please don't make me feel bad for wondering if this is as bad as I thought it was.

My question to the mumsnet hive, is does this person deserve a second chance and to guage the view on cocaine as opposed to alcohol etc. I would certainly never let them in a car with anyone with a history of drink driving or drugs.

Perhaps I worded my original post poorly, I was incredibly stressed having just found out this information and didn't know what to do. I wanted to know if I was being unreasonable and over-reacting to say outright no! I am pleased to see that most of you agree it is a no, but that some people do have some more sympathy but are put off by the timescales.

But yes, wraparound care is extremely difficult to get in our area, and after school clubs are not an option - so it is not just a case of find someone else and move on, it can take months to find someone! But the kids 100% come first and I would never leave them with someone I am not comfortable with.

Tbh I'm not sure why you're even wasting your time doing all this sleuthing and Internet research. It's a red flag.

No not a snowballs chance in hell would I employ her to look after children.

Did cocaine at home = thick and how did the Police find out?
Took cocaine out of her home = thicker still - mince level, I'd say.
In possession of cocaine out of her home and managed to draw the attention of the Police = even thicker (how? Dealing? Driving under the influence? Getting arrested for fighting? Taking the blame for a dodgy boyfriend who will be around whilst you're at work?) We're at the Thick as Shit stage now.
Thinking that trying to make excuses as to why they don't already have a clear Enhanced DBS isn't going to raise suspicions = consistency of concrete.

Versus:

Being prepared to employ somebody at best as thick as shit, uses Class As, gets caught using them and is deliberately hiding a conviction/making excuses about a DBS, thinking that it might all end up OK in the end = Thickest yet.

This!

Honestly. You don't even know if it's true !

Get a DBs done. No need to even ask her about it.

How certain in the accusation. You could always say yes to the job dependant on references and DBs etc.
I'm all for giving chances but 18m too recent if what you have heard is true

If it is proved to be true, I wouldn't employ her.

When we moved to this village, my kids were 2 and 4, and I was told that the manageress of the nursery drank heavily/used drugs. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt and didn't 'smell' or see anything happening at the nursery. She asked me one day if I needed a babysitter and we did as we were out the following weekend - what a disaster. We'd told her my border collie wouldn't allow anyone in once we'd left, but it seems her husband and child 'popped in on their way home', and my dog bit the husband quite badly. It was the first and last time.

Find out more about the circumstances. Get up to date dbs.
Thoroughly check references

I don't view this differently to alcohol. If someone had a drunk and disorderly caution I'd check out the above.

If this is real, which I doubt, you should sign yourself up for some parenting classes as a matter of urgency.

I don’t know where you live, but in London, very few things meet the threshold for a caution, and definitely not possession of drugs. When we found cannabis on the pavement outside my nursery, it took a month and several phone calls for the useless Met to even bother to pick it up. I think they mumbled something about only having the resources to investigate murders.

If this person has a caution for possession of drugs, you better believe there will be pages of other stuff on her DBS certificate. LOL. Believe me, it’s never just one thing that shows up when someone has a record like that, especially when drugs are involved. I00% there will be assault or affray or some other violent crime on it as well.

It's a no

Just say No. Like she should have done.

Why does the IP need parenting classes because she doesn’t automatically believe town gossip and unsubstantiated rumours?

Some of you are bloody weird

*OP

100% no unless it turns out not to be true.

Would I employ someone who indirectly supports the murder of young black men, those in Mexico and the Albanians coming over in small boats? No chance.