So me and my husband have decided to separate - no children.
I know he is probably hurting and lashing out but he wanted to go NC during Christmas which I understood. But on Christmas day, I thought I would send him a "Merry Christmas". No reply. I done the same thing on New Year. No reply. He always said he had alot of respect for me and wants this to amicable and for us to be friends. Okay, I didnt expect us to be besties but he is just being nasty. I am suprised after 15 years together.
He said he was taking Christmas to think about us and after much self-reflection... he has told friends this, he is happy to be out of a toxic and unhealthy relationship. He has told other friends who have told me, that "I've moved on" and he "doesnt give a shit" all because he saw me with a male colleague (who is gay by the way!!!) having a coffee in costa!!
I have heard from a source (who matched with him) that he is on tinder too - with our wedding as his profile picture! Splitting up is the right thing to do but I feel like I have been respectful. If people have asked, I have said we both werent happy. Yes, it was a little unhealthy at times but no one needs the details. It certainly wasnt toxic and I am hurt he is telling people this. I also think using our wedding picture as his profile is hurtful too.
He has now instructed me to move out asap as he wont live at his mum and dads forever. I've told him I cant buy until we sell. He has told me he will look at buying me out but wants me out. He said I am to base all of my mortgage promises on worst case senario - this being the lowest amount I'll get - but when I have been doing this all my mortgage promises are extremly low. The house has appreciated significantly over the years so it is estimated I will get alot more than he is estimating.
He said he wants to move on and cant date others until he has his own place as they cant exactly go back to his mum and dads. So I asked if he was actively dating, and he is ignoring me now. We only offically seperated weeks ago. I understand the need to sell up and for us to move on but to put this as a reason is hurtful.
I know I am being extremly petty and I need someone to talk me down. But...
My friend sent me a picture of him on tinder - would I be unreasonable (I bloody know I am!!!) to give this to the solicitor and say I would like to go down the adultery route.. I can play nasty too, although I dont want to, I am just hurting as he is being cold and treating me horribly.
I dont care he is moving on but he is treating me like I am a stranger when it was his actions that led to all of this. Saying things like "I didnt miss you once over Christmas, just our cat, which is very telling, you are shit company and a disgraceful person". He keeps reminding me what we agreed to before Christmas - "remember, you get the cat, and you cant claim my pension, savings or house deposit". I originally said fine but this list keeps getitng longer and I dont know if I am shooting myself in the foot. However, I have been the one to look after our cat during his move to his mum and dads so what chance would he have to contest ownership. Someone please help talk me down and tell me I am being stupid??