Friend has pulled out of holiday the day before we are due to fly out

[OkIy]

Hi,

I have had a ski holiday booked with my friend for the last six weeks. She is a bit flaky but I’ve never been in this position with her. I thought she was being unusually vague about the details and my suspicions have been confirmed today.

She has just texted me saying she doesn’t think she can’t come as she has pulled a muscle during yoga earlier this week and it’s too painful. I was with her last night and there didn’t seem anything wrong with her. I think she is either making this up or is really exaggerating (she can be a bit of a hypochondriac sometimes).

I thought she had been dropping hints she might not be able to come but I triple checked before the cut off for no refunds came. She told me to go ahead.

I have paid for everything and it’s nonrefundable (we have done this multiple times in the past with no issues so I wasn’t being overly naive). I haven’t discussed this aspect with her yet as I am too upset. We are meant to fly out tomorrow.

I am not sure what to do. My birthday is on Friday as well. It wasn’t originally envisioned as a birthday weekend just a cheapish off peak break :(

I wouldn't text I would ring her up and not even say "oh that's a shame" etc, etc.

Just ring her and tell her that you are still going and here are your bank details to pay what she owes you tonight.

Apart from the short notice it is really shitty behaviour to text rather than call you …fucking rude and I am not usually a swearer !
Call her ,and call her bluff by suggesting that as she has got to pay her share she might as well come for the scenery ,wine etc !

I'm very confused by the PPs who said you can't do a ski holiday alone. I have done it, it's fine. Go skiing for a bit, have lunch, ski some more, go to the sauna if there is one, eat, read a book and do it all again the next day. Only difference comparison to skiing with a friend or DH is that I stick a note in my pocket with emergency contact details in case I injure myself.

I would have waited for the funds from the friend before paying, but that ship has sailed.

What an utterly shitty thing for her to do.

@OkIy If you can't get anyone to go in her place, just go on your own, and if the friend doesn't pay up I would write that "friendship" off. And in future when booking holidays with other people make sure they pay you before you book.

This.

As she's committed the money anyway (don't even allow the idea she won't pay her half to be considered a possibility) she might as well enjoy the holiday and just skip the skiing.

There's far less natural snow this year anyway even at 6-900 meters and skiers are crowded onto the slopes with artificial snow (even that can only be laid down when it's cold enough so only the places that did this in December have enough snow).

If you can change the name on the ticket, I'll come! So need a bit of a break😂

Well, she needs to cough up. I'm assuming plane tickets are named etc? If you change them there will be charges. All up to her.

Ski holidays are fine as a single - join a ski school and you'll have people all day

She needs to pay her half whether she goes or not. If she was injured and a good friend she'd go along anyway, seeing as she can't get a refund why ruin 2 people's holiday? She could join you around the skiing. She's no friend if she simply pulls out last min and hasn't even paid you, awful awful thing to do to someone.

Anyone laying bets on the flaky friend actually paying her half?

This is the perfect response, I hope she's a good friend to you and pays her half

Crumbs have you been stitched up op?

Even at 6-900 metres? Is that a typo?

6-900 metres is an extremely low ski resort. E.g. Les Arcs is at 1600-3000 metres.

Definitely still go, even if you just chill out. It would also be the end of the friendship for me.

My friend did this too me the day before we were flying to Greece. Was so mad at her, luckily we changed the booking over and I took my mam instead. Can you do this? Take someone else?

We literally had to fly at 2PM, was changing the details of the holiday the tickets, etc at 9Am, got the bus straight to the Airport then flew.

She must give you her share. If she wants to claim it back from her insurance, that's fine, but insist she pays you upfront - don't be fobbed off by her waiting for insurance to come through.

Doubt a bookie would offer odds ....

Surely this has to be the end of the friendship. If she'd paid and backed out it would be a little different, but to back out and leave you with the bill is really awful.

This is awful and right near your birthday too. I'd be upset too.

Only today there was a feature on This Morning showing that you can have lots of fun on a ski trip without actually skiing. They visited Switzerland (Grindelwald) and it looked great. I have always skied so have never considered not skiing while there.

Is there anyone else you could ask... eg another friend who knows of this friend's flakeyness?

Keep us posted and good luck she either changes her mind or you find someone else

That is absolutely awful. I smell bullshit because pulling a muscle doesn't preclude you from enjoying the holiday. She still has to pay for it. What a shit thing to do the day before.

This. Even by MN standards, the responses on here are harsh.

If my good friend of 15 yrs standing, with whom I had been holidaying without incident for years did this, I would be seriously concerned about them.

Being disappointed is totally understandable and agree that the friend still needs to pay her half, but I would definitely want to make sure she was okay as well.

Certainly not friendship ending behaviour on the faced of it, any number of things could be going on.

If she isn't going to pay anyways then take someone else and change the name on the ticket .. if possible ?
She is not your friend though tbh .. I would have got the money off her before you booked . Maybe she just can't afford it .

Tell her she owes you her half. Cheeky mare.

Sounds like she never intended to go in the first place but didn't say so which is awful. If it were me I'd never be friends with her again but you should try to get your money back as she clearly told you to go ahead.

Another time get your friends share of the money before paying it all off.

My word, I miss the smell of a ski holiday. The wax,the sun screen .