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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

776 replies

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 19:40

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really Confused at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time Wink'

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

OP posts:
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5
Tamarindtree · 10/01/2023 20:30

I don’t drink alcohol so I would always bring my own non alcoholic drink.

Isthisit22 · 10/01/2023 20:30

Perfectly fine, seeing as you also brought a gift.
I would be very unhappy at being 'told off' by a boyfriend.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 10/01/2023 20:31

My Dad hates people bringing any contribution to a meal - i think he takes it as a negative comment on his hosting. So he would be annoyed if you turned up with 7up as he would already have a selection of soft drinks available and your 7up would be like saying "I presume you won't have anything I like so I'll take up fridge space with this sugary crap". A gift (chocolate, wine etc) is totally different.

Ivesaidenough · 10/01/2023 20:31

I would find this odd. Why not just ask if they have anything non-alcoholic? I don't drink either but wouldn't take my own, it feels rude but I don't really know why!

Sparklingbrook · 10/01/2023 20:32

Stressfordays · 10/01/2023 20:29

Not even if you're having people round? I find that bizarre. Some people don't drink alcohol for all sorts of reasons so I always accommodate.

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We are such weirdos, clearly. Getting in some soft drinks when hosting. Apparently there's no need because people have to bring their own and if they don't that's on them. Grin

Headabovetheparakeet · 10/01/2023 20:32

KickHimInTheCrotch · 10/01/2023 20:31

My Dad hates people bringing any contribution to a meal - i think he takes it as a negative comment on his hosting. So he would be annoyed if you turned up with 7up as he would already have a selection of soft drinks available and your 7up would be like saying "I presume you won't have anything I like so I'll take up fridge space with this sugary crap". A gift (chocolate, wine etc) is totally different.

And presumably, if you take someone to your parents' house you would explain this them beforehand to prevent awkwardness?

Aquarius1234 · 10/01/2023 20:32

Why didn't you just have tap water?
It's odd that glasses of water were not provided also tho.
I probably would have seen how it was 1st time and brought lemonade or coke next time.

toocold54 · 10/01/2023 20:33

Why stop there? Take your own dinner too.

Most people aren’t rude enough to show up empty handed.

Stressfordays · 10/01/2023 20:33

Sparklingbrook · 10/01/2023 20:32

We are such weirdos, clearly. Getting in some soft drinks when hosting. Apparently there's no need because people have to bring their own and if they don't that's on them. Grin

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And if they do bring their own, they're rude apparently 🤣

JuliaGooliaaa · 10/01/2023 20:33

Finding the responses interesting, I would never bring something like 7up to a meal and have never had someone bring something like that to me either! It’s fine to not want wine of course but generally I would just accept whatever alternative is offered by the host.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 10/01/2023 20:34

Sweet fizzy drinks with food are really not on. How can you taste the food if you are drinking an artificially flavoured sweet drink?

Water, yes. It doesn't have to be wine.

Diyextension · 10/01/2023 20:34

I’d have taken Pepsi max ( its all I usually drink ) if she had offered me wine I’d have said no thank you it tastes like cat piss.
if you want to drink lemonade that’s fine , they are snobs.

Tell your boyfriend your taking lemonade next time or they can shove the meal up their arse.🍑. I’m early fifties too and I don’t care what people drink when they are eating.

Sparklingbrook · 10/01/2023 20:35

Stressfordays · 10/01/2023 20:33

And if they do bring their own, they're rude apparently 🤣

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Not rude-just a bit strange IMO.

But TBF I don't know what's more strange, taking your own pop to a meal or the hosts not having any in so I'm torn.

Moveoverdarlin · 10/01/2023 20:35

But you tend to take wine for the host as a gift, not necessarily because you like that drink. I perhaps would have taken a bottle of wine and your chosen soft drink. When you keep saying ‘it was for everyone’ not many adults would drink a fizzy pop with Sunday lunch and it’s not an especially generous offering. Also some MIL plan dinners like this with military planning, she probably got the hump you didn’t drink the nice wine she most likely bought especially for you, because she was trying to impress you.

Luana1 · 10/01/2023 20:35

I just don't see the issue with a bottle of fizzy drink. How on earth does that impact a first impression to such an extent? Ridiculous. It's a bottle of fizzy!

It just makes you seem a bit childish to need a sugary fizzy drink with a meal so much that you brought it with you, and it clearly did make an impression on them if the mum brought it up with your boyfriend to say she found it a bit confusing - that doesn't sound like it was a good first impression to me, I don't think I would anyone who I met for the first time to describe the encounter as confusing 🤷🏻‍♀️

Weleaiig · 10/01/2023 20:35

Some people are not very good hosts. You took fizz so you’d be sure to have something with taste to drink. You took chocolates along perfectly acceptable. I’d have taken just the chocolates asked for water instead of wine and then seen if they’d offer anything else to make up for my need for a non alcoholic beverage. That way I could see what kind of people they are. Least there will be a next time I suppose - if you are interested.

RachelGreep87 · 10/01/2023 20:36

7 up is quite working class, particularly in a 2 liter bottle.
M&S have some nice soft drinks in glass bottles, these would be a bit more presentable.

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 10/01/2023 20:36

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 10/01/2023 20:34

Sweet fizzy drinks with food are really not on. How can you taste the food if you are drinking an artificially flavoured sweet drink?

Water, yes. It doesn't have to be wine.

I think some people put far too much salt on their dinner. They're the one eating it though so it's their call.

ChampagneLassie · 10/01/2023 20:36

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 20:24

I just don't see the issue with a bottle of fizzy drink. How on earth does that impact a first impression to such an extent? Ridiculous. It's a bottle of fizzy!

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You've asked for feedback. I'm with @Luana1 id think it a bit odd if someone brought this. Also if you didn't explicitly explain at outset. "I don't drink alcohol so I've brought this for me to drink with dinner" I'd have been a bit confused why I was cooling your 7up too! And assumed you'd want wine with dinner. If you want to fit in, bring classier drink + a present for host. BF parents I'd always bring flowers. Or keep doing you but don't be suprised when people are 😳

HoneyDragon · 10/01/2023 20:38

@JudgeRudy I carry my own teabags too. I’m old enough now not to worry about causing offence, and if they look a little butthurt I compliment them on their magnificent kettle boiling skills and accommodation of my bag.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 10/01/2023 20:38

Headabovetheparakeet · 10/01/2023 20:30

This happened in Billericay? Now I'm imagining it as a scene in Abigail's Party.

I'm imagining Pamela from G and S panicking about not having any vegetarian food and then having to maintain a lie that she's vegetarian for months - but with wine.

ChateauxNeufDePoop · 10/01/2023 20:38

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 10/01/2023 20:34

Sweet fizzy drinks with food are really not on. How can you taste the food if you are drinking an artificially flavoured sweet drink?

Water, yes. It doesn't have to be wine.

You've just described a fair few sparkling wines and cocktails with that as well as all the modern fruity gins. Not all lemonade is strong either, just seems such a non issue for someone to take their own soft drink.

IsItThough · 10/01/2023 20:39

I think it made his mum uncomfortable because it highlighted that she hadn't considered that you might not be a non-drinker and therefore catered for you.

For perfect etiquette, should such a thing really matter, your OH should have told them you wouldn't be drinking alcohol and they could have got you something in. So they can do with with the suggestion that you were being a bit common with your bottle of pop.

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 20:39

Stressfordays · 10/01/2023 20:29

Not even if you're having people round? I find that bizarre. Some people don't drink alcohol for all sorts of reasons so I always accommodate.

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I don’t drink alcohol. Nor does DH. We wouldn’t drink any of those drinks and I wouldn’t want to be offered them. A still lemonade before a meal, not with it, might be nice, though. Not fizzy 7Up or Coke from a bottle or can. No one I know drinks those. Go to a pub if you want those.

Bpdqueen · 10/01/2023 20:39

It's definitely not you their odd