To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

[mapofthechicks]

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time '

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

But which random fizzy drink would you have in for guests? Lemonade, Coke, which?

Both.

I've never seen them drink fizzy pop at their own houses either, unless as a mixer at a party etc.

Full fat or diet? People tend to like one or the other, without much crossover.

I've also never seen someone ask for coke in a posh restaurant! It may be on the menu, but I bet the waiters judged!

I bet they don’t. And is anyone to care what the waiters think anyway? 🤔

Both

If someone knocked on my door this evening I could offer them red wine, white wine, an array of spirits, sparkling water, elder flower cordial (yuck), San Pellegrino lemon, Coca Cola, orange juice, some M&S sparkling pressé thing.

(Used to have Shloer in when my aunt was still alive. She thought it was fancy)

Most of those soft drinks have been bought in order to have them available to offer to a guest who might not want alcohol but might be wild, wacky and unusual enough want a cold drink other than water.

It does feel quite a clichéd MN thing for people to say things like 'I've never heard of an adult having a sweet fizzy drink'.

Honestly, if an adult cannot find something they want to drink on the long list of things I have in, they are probably too fussy for me to want to cook for them again anyway.

Nobody 'needs' fizzy pop. I do find it odd that some people seem to view it as essential. No drink is essential, except water.

Well you can have a party and just serve water if that’s all you feel is necessary. But I’d want ice. 😂

A party isn't about what necessary though! For parties obviously you get various mixers, etc.

If I go for a meal at someone's house and they don't have my preferred drink in, I just go for what I like most out of what's on offer. If that's water, fine. Most adults can cope with drinking water for a couple or hours rather than fizzy pop.

I've got splinters in my arse over which way to vote! I think primarily, your BF's mum was ungracious and he was a div for repeating their conversation.

However, if I had cooked a nice meal and invited people round (even if not quite Michelin starred), then I can imagine feeling a little pang of annoyance that an adult had had to bring a large bottle of bog standard pop to drink with it, as that would feel they didn't really appreciate the effort. Yes, yes, quite possibly unreasonable and the main thing is their enjoyment but I'd find it a bit gauche. Sorry. A bottle of something a bit naicer, fine, or if it was a simple meal or bbq. I've had guests bringing elderflower or similar once or twice and thought nothing of it.

However they would never know about this brief pang, nobody else would ever know, and they would be made cordially (haha) welcome in drinking it, suitable glass offered, ice etc. I may offer it back to them at the end as I don't really drink fizzy drinks and there would be no point wasting it, but would explain this.

For a party you’d get a random selection of drinks in, alcoholic and not. But I still wouldn’t get any fizzy soft drinks. Maybe tonic or soda water.

She did ask for something non-alcoholic, the drink she brought along with the chocolates.

Maybe OP brought her drink as to not be a bother because 7-UP is not a typical drink everyone has in their home.

The boyfriend dropped the ball on this, however he didn’t think it was a big deal otherwise he would have told her not to bring it in the first place.

This kind of sums the whole thing up for me.

Tbh, she has a BF problem. He should probably have given his mum a heads up that the OP only drinks 7up, so she could cater even if she was privately a bit "WTF?" about it. Or, if he knew that this really would go down like a lead balloon, he could have tipped the OP off and advised her to drink water for a couple of hrs.

He obviously wasn't that invested in the OP and his mum making a good first impression on each other.

I don’t drink but doesn’t wine affect taste too? It smells so strong 🤢 I know there is all this talk about ‘pairing’ but I can’t believe wine doesn’t affect taste buds too.

And aren’t many alcoholic drinks pretty sugary anyway??

The more I think about it, the more snobby this mum seems to me. I find people like that quite unbearable.

I come from a culture that prioritises the comfort of guests. My parents would be rushing to have every drink possible in the house to accommodate the new girlfriend. Not snobbily judging her bottle of 7UP.

Snobbery is so unattractive a quality.

Fizzy drink with meals is obviously not the done thing in their family. However, it’s extremely low class to make guests feel uncomfortable. My guess is they insecure and use stupid rules to make themselves feel better.

Wine does have a flavour - hence the pairing. A well paired wine will enhance the flavour. As a general rule though, you wouldn't pair a strongly flavoured wine with a delicately flavoured meal. In a nice restaurant, the waiters will be happy to recommend what's appropriate.

Thanks. So wine does mess with taste but it’s accommodated by ‘pairing’ with certain foods.

There needs to be more effort into ‘pairing’ meals with Diet Coke and 7UP clearly ;-)

The taste is strong for me. Regardless of pairings (and I have tried many) all I can taste is the alcohol which is off-putting to me. In desserts, I can handle it if it is very subtle, but it has to be cooked out in most things.

In my honest opinion this is not about your preferred drink. It is about how you behave if and when you are invited to someone else's place. Of course it's your choice to (not) drink any alcohol, but you should give your host the chance to accomodate you with another drink?

OP your only mistake was to ask MN.

I've read the absolute bollocks on here and you'd think you were visiting the frigging Queen.

They are a working class family, her boyfriends family. All this etiquette BS is ridiculous. She wasn't rude, my god, some the shite I read on here! She brought her own soft drink, offered to bring desert and brought chocolates for afters.

For those of us who live in the real world, it's fine. You're normal and your BFs mum is nuts.

@Sennelier1 was she going to rush out before carving the meat to buy her choice of soft drink?

It sounded like it was wine or water or nothing.

This is pure snobbery, though. You're quite happy for a guest to bring their own drinks as long as it's something you approve of? Like Elderflower 😂

And those equating 'fizzy' drinks with 'sugary' drinks, you are aware that almost all fizzy drinks come in sugar-free versions, right? So in fact contain far less sugar than a glass of wine. But of course a glass of wine is 'nicer' than a glass of lemonade, so that's fine. I agree with @NoNewsIsGoodNews snobbery really is a most unattractive quality.

This thread is becoming even more ridiculous.

@Bettethebuilder we have a wine rack in the cupboard under the stairs. Most people I know always have some wine in. We aren't heavy drinkers, but we don't live near any shops, so we always have a few bottles in. We don't just buy one bottle at a time for immediate consumption. No-one I know does this.

I don't judge people who don't drink BTW, but we don't generally keep soft drinks in the house because we don't drink them. I have tonic water in for gin, and I will have lemonade in the summer to mix with Pimms. If I was entertaining and knew that we had non drinkers coming I would find out what they liked to drink and buy it so I could offer them a drink. A good host would do this anyway.