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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

776 replies

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 19:40

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really Confused at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time Wink'

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
MrsRonaldWeasley · 11/01/2023 17:58

This thread is hilarious!!! 🤣 Having lemonade - or any other (gasp) fizzy drink with a meal is not the done thing??? 🤣🤣🤣 Jeez must be such hard work having all these unwritten rules!

thing47 · 11/01/2023 18:00

parietal · 10/01/2023 21:09

I'm still mystified by the responses on this thread.

think about the food. If someone invited you to lunch but you show up with a MacDonalds in case you don't like their food, that would be incredibly rude.

Same with drinks. if they invite you round, they provide the drinks. if you don't like what they have, you'll have to manage for one meal to be polite.

obviously in the case of allergies etc, you could make special requests for food / drink. But otherwise, the guests should eat & drink what the hosts serve and not bring their own.

But you could equally turn this around and say that it's really poor hosting to only offer wine… I don't drink wine, and I also don't drink at all if I'm driving, I certainly wouldn't be drinking a glass of wine just to be polite because I don't like it. I would probably be happy with water (though sometimes I find it a bit dull), but it doesn't sound from @mapofthechicks posts that even this was offered. That's very strange.

I probably wouldn't have taken my own drink on the occasion of a first meeting, but I would expect to be offered something other than alcohol.

RampantIvy · 11/01/2023 18:06

But you could equally turn this around and say that it's really poor hosting to only offer wine

Of course it is. DD's best friend doesn't like fizzy drinks so if she comes round for a cocktail session with her I make sure we have some non fizzy mixers in.

Ananny1234 · 11/01/2023 18:26

😂😂😂 peoples comments! The girl just likes to drink lemonade- there’s nothing wrong with that! She took chocolates to….

id be more bothered your bf said they thought it was weird don’t do that again! How about said bf gets a backbone and says - no she just likes lemonade instead of wine it’s not a big deal, please don’t be rude about my new gf. Instead of pandering to his families weird control over what you drink 😂 too far? 😂

J3001 · 11/01/2023 18:27

Weird people we have wine with christmas day dinner my ex dosen't drink so he has coke and nothings said and if we went out he had coke and me i could drink my self under the table ,never have mind but dosen't bother him that i drink alcohol and didin't bother me he had soft drink , my 2 sons 17 and and 22 same at xmas dinner would rather have coke think its each persons own choice and for taking a soft drink to a family meal wouldn't bother me in the least .

Jellycats4life · 11/01/2023 18:36

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 21:18

@Lilyhop I'm in Laindon Grin Not to be confused with 'Langdon Hills'. I suppose they think I fled the Holy Lands and went back to my slum

Haha! Billericay people really are awful snobs about Basildon and its environs. It kills them that they have to pay council tax to Bas council.

JuliaGooliaaa · 11/01/2023 18:57

Lysianthus · 11/01/2023 16:45

I realise this thread has been done to death but...the history of 7 Up is fascinating (and I am bored!)

Was originally called 'Bib-label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda' and contained lithium citrate which is a mood-stabilising drug until 1948. The 7 is an oblique reference to the atomic mass of lithium.

As you were.

Thank you for this fascinating nugget of information! Most interesting thing I’ve heard today

CrikeyPeg · 11/01/2023 19:04

skyeisthelimit · 11/01/2023 17:58

This thread has some hilarious comments on it. OP, you have done nothing wrong and I would be discussing his comment with him as to why his mum was confused that you didn't want to drink wine.

Nobody should every be forced to drink alcohol to be polite. If you don't want it then don't drink it.

I reckon!

Frabbits · 11/01/2023 19:13

Sennelier1 · 11/01/2023 17:02

I agree that nobody should be forced to drink alcohol, but how you did this would have shocked me too. We expect our guests (I ask them myself) to notify us in advance if there is something they will not eat or drink, and I really do cater to each and every wish, without judgement. Even if they mention it last-minute I will still provide an alternative. We not only serve wine with meals, there are also fresh juices, alcohol-free aperitives like Crodino, and water with or without gas. I'm pretty sure your boyfriend's parents would have accomodated you if you had simply asked for something else. What you did was unnecessary rude, you could easily have asked for a non-alcoholic beverage. Anyway, lemonade with a good meal? This sounds like 14-year olds at MacDonalds, not an adult invited at a nice family meal.

Shocked? Really?

OP was visiting her boyfriends parents for lunch, and took some lemonade because that's what she likes to drink.

I simply cannot get my head around why anyone would give such an action a second thought.

It's rude to be a stuck up twat about adults drinking what they like.

CheerfulYank · 11/01/2023 19:18

Wait was it lemonade or 7 up? I’m so confused 🤣

CheerfulYank · 11/01/2023 19:21

Dotjones · 11/01/2023 13:49

It's a bit weird to not at least have a glass of wine when meeting a partner's family for the first time and cooking you a meal. You don't have to get drunk but a glass or two is the done thing, it's a bit weird/rude to refuse to drink it and bring your own fizzy drink instead.

If you've got a legitimate reason as to why you can't drink (for example, you are taking medication and aren't allowed to drink whilst on it) you should disclose this to your hosts ahead of time.

What?!

That is bizarre. Some people just DON’T drink…at all…full stop. I’m definitely not one of them 🤣 but they exist.

Choconut · 11/01/2023 19:25

Why didn't you just have a glass of water? I would think it was a bit weird that someone couldn't manage one meal without a fizzy drink.

Bettethebuilder · 11/01/2023 19:34

CheerfulYank · 11/01/2023 19:21

What?!

That is bizarre. Some people just DON’T drink…at all…full stop. I’m definitely not one of them 🤣 but they exist.

Show quote history

Yes, that is odd. Lots of people don’t drink - I’m one of them -and no way is it right to have a glass of wine for politeness’ sake. I would take wine to give to the host, but would never give a reason why I don’t drink. Nor should anyone expect one. I’m also very sure no one would want to hear my reason -it’d sure put a dampener on proceedings.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 11/01/2023 19:39

Now that you know they like their win, next time you could take a bottle of Buckfast for the table.

Serenitymummy · 11/01/2023 19:41

This thread is possibly the most insane thing I've read on here. If I had to choose a topic I thought would be so controversial I'd never have guessed it would be bloody lemonade. You're definitely not being u reasonable OP, and glad you know that. Either this is a misunderstanding or he and his family are a bit stiff and odd and might not be the easiest company to relax in.

phoenixrosehere · 11/01/2023 19:48

Choconut · 11/01/2023 19:25

Why didn't you just have a glass of water? I would think it was a bit weird that someone couldn't manage one meal without a fizzy drink.

I would think the same about someone not being able to go without alcohol for a meal. Why should a guest simply have to drink water if they’re not going to drink alcohol? It’s rude not to offer a guest more than just alcohol and water to go with their meal. Tap water is not all the same nor is it always nice. I highly doubt the house only has alcohol and water in stock. I would not want to return if those were my only options and definitely if the host couldn’t be bother to ask me what I do like to drink. That’s the first thing you do for guests before they even come to your home for a meal.

bluetongue · 11/01/2023 19:59

I came across this on Reddit and thought of this thread immediately. www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/108z557/wibta_if_i_tell_mil_not_to_bring_soda_when_she/

toocold54 · 11/01/2023 20:04

This thread is possibly the most insane thing I've read on here. If I had to choose a topic I thought would be so controversial I'd never have guessed it would be bloody lemonade. You're definitely not being u reasonable OP, and glad you know that. Either this is a misunderstanding or he and his family are a bit stiff and odd and might not be the easiest company to relax in.

I agree!!

Who would judge someone for what they drink with their dinner!

The family have got to be a MNer or just completely batshit, probably both.

My guests are free to drink whatever they want.

amberglass92 · 11/01/2023 20:05

Some of these comments are baffling. My in laws still after 15 years only offer tea or wine or spirits despite knowing I hate tea and don’t drink. Even when I have been pregnant I have had to decline wine or limoncello (!!) repeatedly. And then been frowned upon for not toasting a particular occasion with alcohol. Sometimes I just take it to shut them up now. There is no water offered! There are no glasses set out for it either. My husband will now go to the kitchen and get me a glass of tap water. It’s very awkward as it’s not ok for me to go to the kitchen! And as their food is inevitably very dry and their house is boiling and I like to drink quite a bit when eating (I know some people don’t agree with this!), he often goes back a few times or I am very thirsty! I find the whole situation bizarre and quite rude but im
used to it now. As such on occasion I have been known to take my own drink with. Needless to say they have not got the hint! I keep tea in my home for visitors - and milk - I drink neither - but I consider it good hosting to have it as a lot of people love tea!
side note - my FIL is also very weird about drinks in restaurants. He once angrily sent back the bottle of wine he had ordered because it was brought out with the starters and he wanted it with the main course only!
perhaps OP has encountered someone like my inlaws. It really isn’t a big deal to take lemonade, it’s very rude not to be offered a glass, and it’s hardly offensive in anyway. Some of the commenters need to open their minds up to the fact that people who won’t even offer water do exist!
hahaha long post but I felt seen by the OP!

Sennelier1 · 11/01/2023 20:06

@Frabbits , you know, that's probably why we don't really mind the Brexit. You have your ways, we in Europe have ours.

amberglass92 · 11/01/2023 20:07

Also why does it matter to anyone else if the OP likes lemonade with food? No one is forcing you to drink it! Would it have been better for her to bring a small bottle and not offer to share?! Just as well she did seeing as nothing else soft was offered.

MilkyYay · 11/01/2023 20:08

I would consider it odd to wash down a nice meal with sugary pop.

Couldn't you just have a glass of water if you didn't want wine?

Sennelier1 · 11/01/2023 20:09

@phoenixrosehere , but she doesn't say if there was any non-alcoholic drink. She could've asked for something non-alco, but she didn't. And if she (or her boyfriend) had warned in advance there probably would have been an appropriate glass at her place 🤷🏼‍♀️

youshouldnthaveasked · 11/01/2023 20:12

Choconut · 11/01/2023 19:25

Why didn't you just have a glass of water? I would think it was a bit weird that someone couldn't manage one meal without a fizzy drink.

@Choconut

because she didn’t want water. She wanted 7UP. I thinks it’s odd that people can’t get their head around this? Why are you confused?

MilkyYay · 11/01/2023 20:16

Youshouldnthaveasked
Because sugary drinks like that ruin the taste of a good meal, which is disrepectful to the host/cook.

Because most adults can get through one nice dinner with water instead of pop.