To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

[mapofthechicks]

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time '

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

Lots of people don't like or want to drink wine.

It's far ruder as a host to insist someone drinks something they don't like. I can't imagine how much of a petty arse you have to be to be insulted by someone bring their prefered choice of drink to an informal lunch.

I realise this thread has been done to death but...the history of 7 Up is fascinating (and I am bored!)

Was originally called 'Bib-label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda' and contained lithium citrate which is a mood-stabilising drug until 1948. The 7 is an oblique reference to the atomic mass of lithium.

As you were.

It's a bit weird to not at least have a glass of wine when meeting a partner's family for the first time and cooking you a meal. You don't have to get drunk but a glass or two is the done thing, it's a bit weird/rude to refuse to drink it and bring your own fizzy drink instead.

No it isn't. It really, really isn't @Dotjones .
I know several people who don't like wine. Drinking wine to be polite is a ridiculous thing to think and is a bonkers "rule" that you have just made up. As far as I know there is no etiquette that dictates that a guest must drink wine

@mapofthechicks I don't think it is unreasonable if you only like to drink 7 Up with your meal to expect that most people won't have it in the house.

I would think it unusual, but I wouldn't judge anyone for bringing their favourite drink to have with a meal, and as a decent host I would not be rude about it. Besdies, I would have asked beforehand what you would like to eat and drink anyway because I like my guests to feel welcome.

As an aside I often have a coke with a curry when we eat out as I am always driving, and the sweetness of coke goes much better with spicy food than water.

And much less than wine in many cases. Wine has a higher alcohol content. Wine is an acquired taste and even wine drinkers have a certain preference of wine. The whole red vs white comes to mind.

If she didn’t drink any of the wine or had the tiniest of sips and didn’t drink anymore, she’s rude and if she asked for water, seems there may have been an issue as well due to his mother’s confusion on not drinking wine. OP is a bad guest regardless despite her bringing a gift of chocolates for the host.

id be put off if the host said but we're having wine-thats nice do they expect eveyrone to drink wine cant stand the stuff

I wonder if they thought/assumed you were hungover and were unhappy that you weren't taking full part in their meal with wine because of this.
I drink lemonade when hungover 😁

YANBU his mum is & your boyfriend should have told her so!
Would she expect you to still have a glass of wine if you were driving, pregnant or just didn’t drink at all?
How weird of her to get funny about 1) you bringing your own drink to the meal & 2) you not wanting to drink wine with the meal.

I never have a glass of wine with a meal but that is because 2 glasses of wine over 5% proof & I feel drunk.
I can kill a whole bottle of gin & feel just fine but wine, over 5% proof, goes right to my head.

You really need to carefully consider this while relationship if he thinks his mum is right here because she will not change!

Anyone would think you’d tKen a bottle of piss with you!! What the hell is all this snobbery about a soft drink? And personally I think it’s more odd to drink wine with a Sunday roast! Mumsnet gets more bizarre every day.

YANBU. Even when alcohol is served, I ALWAYS need glass of water/fizzy drink to my meal 😬

I'd get rid of the boyfriend. I can't be doing with such etiquette every time I see his parents.

People acting stuffy and trying to be posh would bore me.

I can't stand alcohol as it gives me really bad headaches. I would have insisted on pop instead.

OP had never been here before, so she hadn’t had years of “we only have wine” there. So it was rude to assume that they wouldn’t cater to her and I have literally never gone to anybody’s house when they have nothing but alcohol to offer as a drink.

If anything but a glass of wine confuses her then she needs to get help. Jeez, wine gives me migraines, it’s soooo ok to have a soft drink! Xx

I agree that nobody should be forced to drink alcohol, but how you did this would have shocked me too. We expect our guests (I ask them myself) to notify us in advance if there is something they will not eat or drink, and I really do cater to each and every wish, without judgement. Even if they mention it last-minute I will still provide an alternative. We not only serve wine with meals, there are also fresh juices, alcohol-free aperitives like Crodino, and water with or without gas. I'm pretty sure your boyfriend's parents would have accomodated you if you had simply asked for something else. What you did was unnecessary rude, you could easily have asked for a non-alcoholic beverage. Anyway, lemonade with a good meal? This sounds like 14-year olds at MacDonalds, not an adult invited at a nice family meal.

I'm with you op.... I don't drink wine and people can have what they want...

In fact my in laws asked my then bf what I drank so they could make sure they had it in... and have continued to do so for 8 years... I love them... best in laws anyone could ask for

I wouldn't have thought it odd or lower class if you'd brought it to my house. I'd have been grateful that what you were drinking was one less thing for me to stress over. Some of the folk on here are just pretentious snobs and batshit crazy. Please post again when you take your blue WKD 😂😂

You are so far from unreasonable even if I do prefer coke zero to 7up
Says a lot about the alcohol culture in Britain that people would judge you for drinking a fizzy drink with a meal yet alcohol would have been an acceptable option
Weird af

Judging by some of the responses on this thread you would have thought that the OP had taken some class A drugs into the house.

What a palaver over a bottle of pop. There are some very rigid views on "etiquette" and narrow minded people on here.

TBH, if DD had turned up with someone who didn't drink wine I would just think "oh good, this bottle will go further between the three of us"

Oh, and this has nothing to do with class. Just personal preference.

I don’t know why you put it in quotes. I don’t go looking for lemonade, so I’m not bound to see it in the supermarket. I never go down the drinks aisles, because we never buy any bottled or canned drinks. No one I know drinks fizzy lemonade. We don’t drink alcohol but we wouldn’t drink those types of drinks instead.

@Bettethebuilder you might not go down the fizzy drinks aisle in the supermarket but you can't really say you never see lemonade for sale.
Petrol stations, vending machines that are all over the place, the newsagents, at Boots next to the sandwiches, in WHSmith by the tills....you can't miss bottles of fizzy. They sometimes sell fizzy drinks in clothes shops! They are everywhere !
@Aprilx I meant in her whole life the OP has probably had years and years of being offered nothing but boring tap water because she doesn't want wine. Maybe that's why she took her 7up because several times when at other people's houses she has had the same experience so this is the only way she can guarantee she has a drink she likes.

I’m absolutely with you. I don’t drink alcohol while I’m eating. Plus if you brought lemonade with you I would just assume you didn’t drink.

what I find odd is that they found it odd.

@Bettethebuilder out of curiosity what do you tend to drink?
Posh cordials? Things like j20? Fancy spring water? Cos they are mostly in the same aisle as the fizzy drinks in pretty much all supermarkets.
I've never bought Spam or Coconut Milk in my life but I have seen them on the shelf. They are just there.

This thread has some hilarious comments on it. OP, you have done nothing wrong and I would be discussing his comment with him as to why his mum was confused that you didn't want to drink wine.

Nobody should every be forced to drink alcohol to be polite. If you don't want it then don't drink it.