To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

[mapofthechicks]

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time '

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

Oh my top was on. My trousers had to go in their washing machine. We’d gone on a lovely walk, I found a bog. We drive to theirs with me in my pants via McDonalds.

<disappointed>

Sorry Sparkling. I’ll try better next time

I honestly thought you came across as very odd and was surprised at the first few responses saying you weren’t. I think bringing a bottle of pop along for your meal when you are dining with other people for the first time is pretty rude. It seems to assume they could not possibly be able to cater to your needs, I guess they should be glad you didn’t bring a Tupperware box of sandwiches.

I think you were fine but some people are very stuck in their ways and think you can only do something their way. So they drink wine with a meal so surely everyone else should too? I'd confuse her even more - I like lemonade in my wine!

@Aprilx maybe the OP has had years and years of "Oh we only have wine....oh hang on there might be some cordial that's 4 years old at the back of the cupboard...is that ok?" because so many people seem to be completely baffled that many other people don't drink alcohol and might actually want something that's not plain tap water or out of date squash.

😂

well done for demonstrating that everyone enjoys different things. Why should OP have taken something she doesn’t enjoy purely for keeping up appearances?

I agree with @UndertheCedartree and @Needmorelego. The pearl clutching on here about a bottle of pop is just baffling.

if I had been the host I would have offered a glass, some ice and maybe some gin to go with it. But I know how to be polite to my guests, and like to make them feel at home.

I don't have outdated ideas about "etiquette", some of which seem designed to trip people up and make them feel awkward.

@RampantIvy Team Fizzy Pop Go 🤣

I don’t understand why the expression ‘pearl clutching’ is used on here all the time when people are just giving their opinion. Which by posting on here the OP has asked for. (Although it’s not really clear why as they decided it was all perfectly fine and normal at the beginning) 🤔

It's an interesting post OP, I'm glad you've brought it up. There are so many snobbish people on Mumsnet!!

@mapofthechicks

YANBU

You didn’t go empty handed: you gave her chocolates, and bought your own drink. I don’t see the problem.

You’re entitled to drink 7-Up or water, rather than wine. I’ve found over the years that the only people who have a problem with me not drinking are those who in fact worry that my going dry is going to make them feel bad about their own alcohol consumption. That’s their problem not mine. Each to their own, and I’ve stopped caving in just to please people.

Ah that’s it. The hosts are alcoholics. Of course! 😂

I’m one of the baffled tbh because I don’t drink and I’m happy with water with food, and everyone I know would serve water with a dinner as well as wine, but nothing else. Pop would be for pouring into a washing up bowl of punch at a house party in our 20s. Squash is for Wimbledon players.

@pelargoniums I would drink water if that's all that's on offer - but it's boring. I would prefer a drink that has a bit of flavour to it.
I mean why are the hosts drinking wine? I assume because they like the flavour.
Why don't they drink water?

The fact that the host and her son were rude doesn't excuse the rudeness of the OP for bringing her own drink.

If I was the host I would of course have offered you some of your own 7Up with dinner, while thinking you were a bit mean and selfish. And next time you came, I would make sure I had some chilled 7Up in the fridge.

As someone said above, the role of the host is to make their guests feel comfortable and welcome. The role of the guest is to make the host feel appreciated. Neither party comes out of this story well.

😂

Some of the comments on here are batshit.

How can someone bringing their own drink upset anyone? It's not as if they bought a microwave meal and refused to eat the food.

Some people need to get a life and stop being so offended and angry about every little thing.

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

She was an idiot for thinking OP had to drink the alcohol.

I suppose I might think it a little gauche for someone to bring a 2L bottle of 7UP to this kind of thing, but thinking about it I suppose a lot of non-drinkers get fed up with being offered water, or some random fizzy drink that doesn’t appeal to them. So, I can see the logic.

I don’t understand people saying this demonstrates that the OP doesn’t know how to behave in public (!) or was grossly rude by bringing this soft drink. I do think the mother’s actions were rude though, and her son sounds a bit limp with his ‘please don’t offend my mummy again’.

I want my guests to have a nice time, I’m not trying to catch them out by thinking ha! when they’ve contravened some supposed rule of guest etiquette.
If someone wants to drink 7UP with their dinner then what harm?

And whyyyyy do people roll out the U and non-U thing all the time on Mumsnet? The obsession with what's posh (or should I say 'smart'?) and what's not. It’s 2023. You’re not at a dinner party at the Mitford family pile. You’re an ordinary person living in a suburban house.

I didn’t know fizzy lemonade existed until I moved to the UK over a decade ago. I was given lemonade and the first thing I said to my DH (boyfriend at the time) was “I think they gave me the wrong drink, this is very sweet and fizzy.” He explained that there is fizzy and still lemonade which I had never come across as well as squash which I took a sip of that straight thinking it was juice until again my DH explained that too. The “squash” I grew up with is in the frozen aisle in a can and you just put it in water and stir and it makes a large amount, usually used for parties.

So yes, it is very possible not to know lemonade is fizzy.

I wouldn't say bringing a bottle of 7UP was rude, but it's certainly weird.

A bit "tone deaf" of you to show up with that, but not a bottle of wine.

That's not to say the in-laws aren't conceited sneering tossers. The idea of not being welcoming to someone who'd visiting for the first time, 7UP or not, is just churlish. I think it's fair to say they don't like the OP, for one reason or another.

They sound a bit like DH, if you'd refused wine he would have offered cider or beer. We do also have a wide range of soft drinks to offer though.

I would think a host poor for not bothering to ask in the first place and just expected a guest to just lump it. It would have not been difficult to ask what OP likes to drink or what she would like to drink for her meal so she wouldn’t have had to bring a drink herself.

OP brought a gift and her own drink. The mom’s question of confusion shows she didn’t consider that OP doesn’t drink alcohol as if that is not a done thing.

You’re not at a dinner party at the Mitford family pile. You’re an ordinary person living in a suburban house.

😂

The Mum could have just put the 7Up in a wine glass and pretended. The 7Up bottle doesn't have to on the table.