Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

776 replies

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 19:40

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really Confused at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time Wink'

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
done4now · 10/01/2023 22:03

I also think it's equally strange to not be able to tolerate water for one meal and to be snobby about people liking something sweet and sparkling with theirs.

If you go to a nice restaurant and don't want alcohol, they will often suggest something non-alcoholic that compliments the meal. I had the sommelier in a Michelin starred restaurant suggest this, and it was fantastic with the food.

To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?
Iwantmyoldnameback · 10/01/2023 22:06

I would have given you the rest of the bottle to take home not because I was annoyed but because we wouldn't drink it and I hate waste.

AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 10/01/2023 22:07

TBH if they live in Billericay, it probably did come as a bit of a shock to them 😂Or perhaps my experiences of the good folk of Billericay has merely been unfortunate...

I would find 7-Up and unusual choice for an adult with dinner, but if you like it, and you don't want to drink, I think it's a completely reasonable thing to do. I wouldn't have been drinking wine with dinner either.

LubaLuca · 10/01/2023 22:24

Sparkling water tastes like the burp you do when you drink water too fast. I like it though!

fieldhouse · 10/01/2023 22:35

I actually think it was the "you can all help
yourselves to my fizzy pop" comment which was the nail in the coffin. 🤷‍♀️

whynotwhatknot · 10/01/2023 22:38

so everytime i go i have to just have water

RampantIvy · 10/01/2023 22:44

Wow!
I'm shocked at some of the outrageous snobbery on this thread!

Is someone comes to our house and brings their own drink I would happily get them a glass. It would be very inhospitable not to.

If anyone thinks the OP was rude I think the parents were even ruder.

Somethingsnappy · 10/01/2023 22:53

Well, I think I might be mildly surprised if someone not well known to me brought a bottle of fizzy pop to a nice meal at my house as their sole liquid contribution. However, I wouldn't dream of having the bad manners to show my reaction. So, my opinion is that your boyfriend's mother comes off worse in this scenario, since bad manners trump a possible tiny etiquette breach in the competition for the worst crime!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/01/2023 22:54

Aquarius1234 · 10/01/2023 21:20

I guess I do secretly judge someone that doesn't like tap water..
Other drinks on the table esp reds/ orange's look cheap/ offends the hosts look of the dinner table.

Oh honestly this is ridiculous.

The OP didn't say she doesn't like tap water. She just fancied a specific drink so brought it with her.

"Offends the host....table decoration"

Fuck off. It was a Sunday dinner at her boyfriends mums, not High Tea and the Savoy
Jesus christ.

Lilyhop · 10/01/2023 22:55

AGoodDayForSomebodyElseToDie · 10/01/2023 22:07

TBH if they live in Billericay, it probably did come as a bit of a shock to them 😂Or perhaps my experiences of the good folk of Billericay has merely been unfortunate...

I would find 7-Up and unusual choice for an adult with dinner, but if you like it, and you don't want to drink, I think it's a completely reasonable thing to do. I wouldn't have been drinking wine with dinner either.

Nah not billers surely 🤣

Eyerollcentral · 10/01/2023 22:55

RampantIvy · 10/01/2023 22:44

Wow!
I'm shocked at some of the outrageous snobbery on this thread!

Is someone comes to our house and brings their own drink I would happily get them a glass. It would be very inhospitable not to.

If anyone thinks the OP was rude I think the parents were even ruder.

What about the OP’s outrageous snobbery towards her boyfriend’s mum? Do you find that rude?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/01/2023 23:01

Where has the OP been snobby?

AnnieSnap · 10/01/2023 23:02

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 21:06

@AnnieSnap do you mean in response to the baby update? I haven't replied to that one yet

Sorry, I’d missed the baby update. I’ve seen it now.

BogRollBOGOF · 10/01/2023 23:27

Most people have appalling selections of soft drinks and they're inevitably contaminated with artificial sweetners anyway. Water is dull for an occasion and doesn't compliment all foods. (I drink water, but sometimes it's nice to drink something interesting, especially if it's not just for functional thirst-quenching.

Nothing wrong with taking something you'll enjoy drinking if you know it's unlikely that the host will provide something suitable.

Ribena isn't what it was before the sugar tax. Taking the sugar out and replacing with artificial sweetners out reduced its natural thickness so they had to bulk it out with extra synthetic ingedients to replicate its old texture 🤮

NumberTheory · 10/01/2023 23:34

I think his parents were graceless to have made a big deal about it and to have mentioned it to their DS.

I don’t think this is a class thing, though the way it’s talked about can be different in different in middle class compared to working class households. I come from a working class background and I think pretty much everyone I know would think it was a bit rude to turn up with something you expected to have served to you at the meal unless it was a favourite of the hosts or it had been agreed in advance because of dietary restrictions (and even then, many would mutter). Thinking would be along the lines of - so what we serve isn’t good enough for you?

Wouldn’t matter if it’s 7 up or good wine but I think the 7 up would have added overtones of being seen as a kids’ drink, not an adults’ drink. So there might be judgement there too.

Eyerollcentral · 10/01/2023 23:38

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/01/2023 23:01

Where has the OP been snobby?

She keeps referring to her boyfriend’s family as ‘lower class’, working class, from a bad background, mother had a baby young and granny had to rear it and yet who the hell does she think she is to turn her nose up at a bottle of 7Up? That’s inverted snobbery. The OP thinks that because of her background the boyfriend’s mother should only behave a certain way and is up herself because she doesn’t.

Namechangenoidea · 11/01/2023 00:02

I honestly dont think its snobbery. I would find it really random because no one has ever done that before. It has nothing to do with you not drinking alcohol. She hasnt turned her nose up at you or told your partner its rude, she just found it odd which I would have as well. To me its the same as turning up with a box of cereal. I dont drink much, and drive usually so I dont drink, but I wouldnt put much thought on what I was drinking at someones house. Just whatever they had water or Juice etc. I think its odd you thought about what you were going to drink with dinner, its like you cant bare to drink anything else but lemonade.

Namechangenoidea · 11/01/2023 00:05

Its the same as staying round someones house and bringing a box of Cereal for the morning. Just wait and see what they have, and why put so much thought into it.

Bettethebuilder · 11/01/2023 00:22

Why are you saying it’s lemonade when it’s not? That’s really confusing. And it makes a difference a bit. A nice lemonade as a gift for the hosts would be lovely. A bottle of rather nasty 7 Up that you bring for yourself, and, even more weirdly, offer it around to others to help themselves, is completely odd behaviour. If you like 7 Up at home, fine, drink it at home. But you don’t take it to someone else’s meal to drink alongside the food. If it was a barbecue, that might be different. You should take something that other people would like, namely the host.

Needmorelego · 11/01/2023 00:47

@Bettethebuilder "something that other people would like" - how would the OP know if the hosts like 7up or not?
(I wouldn't take a bottle of wine as a gift because I know zero about wines. Wouldn't have a clue where to start)
Why is it ok to drink 7up at a BBQ but not a roast dinner?
Ok 7up is Lemon and Lime rather than just lemonade but what is a "nice lemonade"?
R Whites lemonade rather than Tesco own brand? M+S Lemonade rather than Aldi?
Cloudy Lemonade? (Which is a more bitter taste so really a totally different drink).

ilovesooty · 11/01/2023 00:50

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 21:55

I don’t know anyone who drinks Coke with a meal. Or 7Up. Or Sprite. My DC would have had one as a treat sometimes. But they wouldn’t drink it now. It’s not about being snobby.

Show quote history

If I'm driving I quite often drink pints of Pepsi or Coke with meals. Other people I know do too.

Bettethebuilder · 11/01/2023 00:54

Perhaps it’s a terminology issue, but lemonade to me isn’t usually fizzy. It’s made with real lemons and sugar and water. When going to a meal hosted by someone, you give the host something extra nice, of some quality.

Needmorelego · 11/01/2023 01:05

@Bettethebuilder well to me a drink like 7up (or Pepsi, cherryade, limeade etc) is "something extra nice".
Wine (and other alcohol) is horrible to me.
See.... everyone is different.
To me and my family having a fizzy drink with a meal is as normal as breathing air.

Needmorelego · 11/01/2023 01:12

@Bettethebuilder and yes 'lemonade' can be the non fizzy made with real lemons etc but you seriously can't say you don't know about fizzy lemonade.
The Barrs stuff has been around since 1875. It's hardly a new revolutionary drink 🤣

To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?
Needmorelego · 11/01/2023 01:26

All you "but fizzy drinks are for children" lot....
Back in the 19th century many cowboys of the Wild West who didn't want to drink alcohol would go to a saloon and have a Sasperilla to drink.
(Sasperilla - bit like Root Beer or Dandelion and Burdock. I may have the spelling wrong)