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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To bring a fizzy drink to a meal?

776 replies

mapofthechicks · 10/01/2023 19:40

So, I visited my boyfriend's family for the first time on Sunday

His mum cooked for us all. Lovely meal. When I arrived, I came with a bottle of lemonade. I said this to his mum ''I've got this, can I pop it in the fridge? Please help yourselves''

When having dinner, I asked for a glass (there were only small wine glasses on the table).

His mum said 'but we're having wine?'

I said no thanks, I'll just have some of the lemonade please'

She seemed really Confused at me!

We had a nice meal and then my boyfriend mentioned to me today 'Mum was really confused about your lemonade! Maybe don't do that next time Wink'

AIBU to think it's fine? It wasn't just for me. Anyone could've helped themselves but it was so strange. It was as if I had placed 10g of coke on the table and told everyone to help themselves to a line

Very odd indeed surely?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
done4now · 10/01/2023 21:30

Mumsnet can be so weird sometimes

Basic rules of guesting and hosting:

Guest:

Always bring a small gift for the host that you don't necessarily expect them to put out at the meal (candle, chocolate, wine, biscuits, etc.). The only exception is people you are already very close to and/or in and out of each others houses frequently.

Assume your hosts will be good enough at hosting to have something soft to offer you. If they don't, be prepared to drink water for one meal. If there's nothing soft offered, bring something next time.

*Your boyfriend should have alerted his parents that you don't drink or aren't drinking.

The main thing you're trying to achieve is to contribute to an atmosphere that is fun and comfortable and the hosts will want to invite you back.

Hosts:

Never assume that everyone drinks alcohol or will necessarily want it at that meal, always have something soft on hand to offer in addition to water (and always have water alongside wine with dinner).

Do not make guests feel weird if they do something/bring something/want something that you would not necessarily do/bring/want yourself.

The main thing you're trying to do is create a fun and comfortable atmosphere that guests will want to return for.

NoNewsIsGoodNews · 10/01/2023 21:31

This is hilarious. Red and orange drinks ruining the table 😂

I think some people would implode if they went to dinner at the house of someone from a very different culture. All sorts of drinks and colours all over the place!

Sparklingbrook · 10/01/2023 21:31

Needmorelego · 10/01/2023 21:28

@mapofthechicks next time take a large bottle of 'Professor Peppy' 🤣
It seems Lidl/Aldi have gone boring and they just called their version of 7up 'Lemon and Lime'.

Is that pretend Dr Pepper? Bleurgh. That stuff is horrible.

Noseylittlemoo · 10/01/2023 21:33

The first time we visited my ILs my husband told me to pick up some Diet coke as he said they wouldn't have anything like that and I don't drink wine/beer (We did also take flowers ).
I dont think I've ever been offered a drink at their house in the past 7 years not even a cup of tea! We visit a few times a year and usually stay for around 5h each visit and if you don't drink beer or wine you don't really get offered anything! So I take my own drinks and help myself to the occasional glass of water. They are fine with that. But I'd be quite annoyed if they objected and all i could have was water while everyone else was enjoying beers and wines!

Clairedelaplume · 10/01/2023 21:33

Do you think maybe they really did think you were duffers for a sec OP? That might explain it a little better?

Needmorelego · 10/01/2023 21:34

@Sparklingbrook that is indeed knock off Dr Pepper.
Brilliant name 🤣

MrsMitford3 · 10/01/2023 21:34

Think all the "class" mentions not really the point.

I would def not go to someone's house for dinner empty handed-and bringing 7up for you to drink doesn't count.
We don't really have fizzy drinks except water at home but if I was having someone who didn't drink/was driving I'd get something in.

It doesn't matter if it is a dinner party or family meal-if I was invited I'd bring a bottle for the hosts.

catwithflowers · 10/01/2023 21:34

@Sparklingbrook we do have soft drinks including cola but I think it's just in case we forget 😂. Plus we usually have Diet Coke in the fridge whereas he prefers a different brand.

JulieMarooley · 10/01/2023 21:36

It would strike me as a bit funny for someone to bring 7up, but even if you brought a “fancier” soft drink, I don’t think you can actually ask to drink it, unless offered, you could just ask for water or something soft, and hope they offered the lemonade.

Yes I suppose it is all a bit silly really!

She was a bit presumptuous saying ‘we’re having wine’ though. And talking about it afterwards is over the top.

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 21:36

done4now · 10/01/2023 21:30

Mumsnet can be so weird sometimes

Basic rules of guesting and hosting:

Guest:

Always bring a small gift for the host that you don't necessarily expect them to put out at the meal (candle, chocolate, wine, biscuits, etc.). The only exception is people you are already very close to and/or in and out of each others houses frequently.

Assume your hosts will be good enough at hosting to have something soft to offer you. If they don't, be prepared to drink water for one meal. If there's nothing soft offered, bring something next time.

*Your boyfriend should have alerted his parents that you don't drink or aren't drinking.

The main thing you're trying to achieve is to contribute to an atmosphere that is fun and comfortable and the hosts will want to invite you back.

Hosts:

Never assume that everyone drinks alcohol or will necessarily want it at that meal, always have something soft on hand to offer in addition to water (and always have water alongside wine with dinner).

Do not make guests feel weird if they do something/bring something/want something that you would not necessarily do/bring/want yourself.

The main thing you're trying to do is create a fun and comfortable atmosphere that guests will want to return for.

This is right. Yes. These are the basics.

HoneyDragon · 10/01/2023 21:38

Penguinsaregreat · 10/01/2023 21:28

Honeydragon I love cherry coke but it has to be diet. I also put fresh lemon in it. What does that make me? Oh and dh is definitely Vanilla Coke.

ooooooh definitely an Oscar Wildesque debutante type.

Colourmix · 10/01/2023 21:40

Bellie710 · 10/01/2023 21:16

This thread is absolutely batshit!

Since when has it been rude or weird to drink fizzy drinks with dinner?? I drink but if I was out for dinner I would always order a diet coke etc with dinner and have alcohol after it.

So many crazy people out there, drink whatever you want with your dinner and ignore the weirdos!

This gave me a chuckle!

Growing up (and the habit’s stuck as an adult) we only drank water or vimto, but we’d all have a few glasses of coke at Christmas or if we went out for a meal to make it feel more of a special occasion. I was always told that it was rude and made you look like a cheap skate to order water with a meal actually😂

Penguinsaregreat · 10/01/2023 21:42

Oooo thank you Honeydragon.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 10/01/2023 21:43

done4now · 10/01/2023 21:30

Mumsnet can be so weird sometimes

Basic rules of guesting and hosting:

Guest:

Always bring a small gift for the host that you don't necessarily expect them to put out at the meal (candle, chocolate, wine, biscuits, etc.). The only exception is people you are already very close to and/or in and out of each others houses frequently.

Assume your hosts will be good enough at hosting to have something soft to offer you. If they don't, be prepared to drink water for one meal. If there's nothing soft offered, bring something next time.

*Your boyfriend should have alerted his parents that you don't drink or aren't drinking.

The main thing you're trying to achieve is to contribute to an atmosphere that is fun and comfortable and the hosts will want to invite you back.

Hosts:

Never assume that everyone drinks alcohol or will necessarily want it at that meal, always have something soft on hand to offer in addition to water (and always have water alongside wine with dinner).

Do not make guests feel weird if they do something/bring something/want something that you would not necessarily do/bring/want yourself.

The main thing you're trying to do is create a fun and comfortable atmosphere that guests will want to return for.

This is spot on ^

Penguinsaregreat · 10/01/2023 21:44

Talking of soft drinks this thread has made me think of Ribena. It’s something I haven’t had in years. Back in the day it tasted quite strong not like the modern version.

CellarDoreen · 10/01/2023 21:45

Ribena is absolutely nothing like it used to be. It's all sweetener these days. I loved the sugary version (but I accept it was awfully unhealthy)

toocold54 · 10/01/2023 21:47

If you are higher/middle/working/lower class - that is what you are.

No drink defines what class you are.

Thinking it does, just proves that you are not the class that you pretend to be.

MasterBeth · 10/01/2023 21:48

It's not unreasonable that you brought 7Up (it makes you look cheap and unsophisticated, but you appear to revel in being cheap and unsophisticated, so we'll let that go) but it is unreasonable and rude that you only brought a bottle of drink for yourself when you have been invited for dinner. Saying "you can help yourself to some of the drink I bought for myself if you like" does not change this. Bringing chocolates doesn't change this.

Sparklingbrook · 10/01/2023 21:49

DH blames Jamie Oliver for Ribena being horrible now, I don't know whether it's his fault but it would not surprise me.

amusedbush · 10/01/2023 21:50

roarfeckingroarr · 10/01/2023 20:55

I find it weird when adults drink fizzy drinks / squash with a meal. What's wrong with mineral or sparkling water?

Sparkling water tastes like B.O.

Plain (still) water makes me feel queasy.

Everyone I have ever dined with has had a glass of Coke or similar with their dinner, including my 89 year old granny. The snobbery on this thread is eye-opening! Grin

MoreSleepPleasee · 10/01/2023 21:51

In my family it would have been very odd to bring a bottle of lemonade but only because I'd expect to offer a selection of soft or fizzy drinks to my guests from what I have. I wouldn't expect a guest to bring their own.

Ginandtoner · 10/01/2023 21:54

If you’re as rude in real life as you are in this post I wouldn’t worry about being invited back…

Feelallright · 10/01/2023 21:55

amusedbush · 10/01/2023 21:50

Sparkling water tastes like B.O.

Plain (still) water makes me feel queasy.

Everyone I have ever dined with has had a glass of Coke or similar with their dinner, including my 89 year old granny. The snobbery on this thread is eye-opening! Grin

Show quote history

I don’t know anyone who drinks Coke with a meal. Or 7Up. Or Sprite. My DC would have had one as a treat sometimes. But they wouldn’t drink it now. It’s not about being snobby.

AreOttersJustWetCats · 10/01/2023 21:56

amusedbush · 10/01/2023 21:50

Sparkling water tastes like B.O.

Plain (still) water makes me feel queasy.

Everyone I have ever dined with has had a glass of Coke or similar with their dinner, including my 89 year old granny. The snobbery on this thread is eye-opening! Grin

Show quote history

Everyone you've ever dined with? You can't have dined with that many people!

amusedbush · 10/01/2023 21:59

AreOttersJustWetCats · 10/01/2023 21:56

Everyone you've ever dined with? You can't have dined with that many people!

Show quote history

I have had the pleasure of dining with many people. Thankfully none as rude as you Smile