How do you cope in a senior role with constant toddler illness?!

[Speedmacarons]

My small DC are constantly ill. They have a pretty good diet, lots of time outdoors, been at nursery a good while, wash their hands etc. No help.

Me and DH have jobs you can’t easily take time off from. We have a nanny too and mix nursery and nanny, problem is the nanny gets the bugs and is then off too! So we pay through the nose, sometimes twice, for a very bad job between me and DH whilst trying to do some half attempt at the urgent work. Then we have to work at night. Then knackered, and probably have the bug ourselves too!! Not much family help unfortunately.

None of my colleagues seem to have these problems to the same extent. I feel like I’m coming across as being disorganised and flaky as it’s affecting my work.

How do people in the same position cope?!

This is exactly what my life was like with toddlers
i had very understanding employers and I made up all
my hours when I could
very little family help and when kids were ill they only want mum anyway
There is no answer except powering through and it does get better

A nanny with a cast-iron immune system.

Honestly, I would go 100% nanny and kill the nursery. That should reduce the prevalence - it's almost certainly nursery where they're catching these things anyway.

• to caveat, I appreciate these are problems for everyone not only those in senior roles, just thinking the ways of managing might be more applicable than a more 9-5 type job with other people who can cover your work

@astronewt what about when school starts?! 🙈

I had a nanny
she used to take time off at the drop of a hat/being hungover etc we had a very serious chat after it happened once too often and she pulled her socks up after that

Mine have been fine in school. They do get sick occasionally still, but they weren't constantly sick as toddlers and they are only very occasionally sick now.

It should get better when school starts as they will have caught a lot of it at nursery and have immunity. We went through this at nursery but since starting school in September, no illness at all would you believe! But yeah, making up,the hours evenings and weekends and being really honest and upfront. It helps I've been at my place a looooong time so they knew it was not BAU for me.

Yep…total nightmare. I went part time alongside nursery, this helped as sometimes she was conveniently ill on my non working days and if she was ill on my working days then I could potentially shift things around and work on my non working days instead.

I was senior management but fortunate that my own manager was understanding.

I think you're underestimating how difficult this situation is for everyone regardless of their role.It must be very difficult to deal with children's illnesses whilst negotiating a zero hours contract for example.
Does your employer offer you carers leave as that can deal with your emergency situations.Some of the major banks offer emergency nanny/childcare placements.
Thankfully, I'm out of this situation myself but my main memory is that a child wants to be looked after by a parent and that's the reality you have to juggle.

@astronewt this gives me hope!

I remember it well and it was very hard. Being told bluntly "is there no one else who can look after your children?"

Years later that particular person had her own children. She looked very tired and very guilty in my presence.

No solutions OP except hang on. Your colleagues can be very very shitty on this

I wish I had the answer. Touch wood DD has, so far, not got sick much this winter. But earlier in the year and last year were pure hell. As was the year before that. I always drop by just to offer sympathies (and fend off the odd poster who likes to inform you your kids are ‘just unhealthy’ and ‘mine never got sick this much’) 🍷

My ds caught everything at nursery school but, as a result, is very rarely ill now at school. He is averaging 1-2 sick days per year which is doable. I used to volunteer for transatlantic business trips. I was the only person I knew who would voluntarily cross time zones for a rest! You need to figure out a triage system with your OH so that one of you doesn’t carry a disproportionate burden for your career.

When I was a nanny I was paid enough that I worked when I was ill. I was never so ill that I couldn’t drag myself to work and lie on the sofa whilst the kids played.

That arrangement probably isn’t for everyone though! But because I liked my employer and treated me well - I went the extra mile. So find a nanny you love and treat them well and hopefully that will pay off.

You chuck money at it. Unlike the minions, who just get fired because they can't.

You all need to dose up on multivitamins and look after your health better. Have three kids and only had to take two days off for child sickness due to childcare very rarely being sick. There is no way an adult should get all the bugs the kids do and most adults can still work with a cold for example

@Streamside that’s a really good point re zero hours contracts etc - as I said I appreciate it’s hard for everyone but trying for tips (or sympathy I guess!) for my own situation

😆 quite.

Your nanny needs to be more robust . Most adults can work with bugs, I bet you can

Like the posters on here who told me if I can’t afford a cleaner I should be working weekends as well as mon-fri…

@chopc it’s a vicious cycle though as the more this happens the more we are working late/eating easy junk etc etc - then we are more susceptible - on it goes

Re the DC, they take a good multivitamin and diet is generally good (with treats but generally healthy ) and are outside a lot! Not sure what else we can do, tips appreciated!

Agree with the pp, can you go full nanny and ditch the nursery, that is the germ HQ.

I certainly can’t magic up childcare out of nowhere so not sure how that is helpful!

Have you had a look at emergencychildcare.co.uk in a pinch? They are a lot less reliable postpandemic IME than they were before but may be worth a try. I have also had good luck with last minute appeals for short term nanny cover on local Facebook parenting groups (for instance, when my second DC contracted chicken pox, which my nanny hadn't had, while DH was away... that was a headache and a half.) I have 2-3 names of local nannies now who I can at least call, if not necessarily count on, when I'm in a fix.

I don’t think the juggle is something that is talked about enough actually. I think it can be especially hard when you’re at a level where you’re competing with people who either have a sahp (and therefore don’t have to worry about sickness/pick-ups) or ambitious child-free people. You will always look a bit shit in comparison tbh but it does get better and also easier to manage when they’re sick. My 6yo had a bad run in November but otherwise is pretty healthy and if she’s not, is old enough to chill on a sofa and not disturb so you can get a full day of work done if you can work st home. My 3yo is still at a point where I don’t even try to pretend a full day of work is possible if she’s off. I can probably get 1/2 a day done and would then generally take 1/2 day leave. Obviously the juggle is much harder if you can’t work from home (and probably worse for people less senior tbh).

I also save at least 3 days of annual leave for child sickness/emergencies every year and set expectations that sickness will be inevitable and sometimes will need to take last minute leave to deal with it.