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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

For getting mad that he wouldn't get up?

93 replies

session9 · 09/01/2023 16:26

My 'partner' and DD's dad doesn't live with us but sometimes stays over. He's only just started sleeping over as we were apart for some time.

Anyway, we slept on the sofa as it turns into a superking (my bed is tiny) he's out of work at the moment and always sleeps in the day as has trouble sleeping at night (probably because he sleeps during the day?)
Anyway we went to bed at a reasonable time, I gave him a sleeping tablet. The next day our daughter woke me about 8.30, I got up, did breakfast, exercised, got dressed, did 2 loads of washing, etc. I tried waking him about 5 times, even sent DD to try & jump on him but it didn't work. I was getting increasingly frustrated as we couldn't use the sitting room, I wanted to tidy up and go for a walk.

His mum rang me for a chat about something unrelated, I ended up venting, she said he's exactly the same at home (won't get up) anyway, I look over and guess who decides to rise from the dead to ear wig on my conversation. He ended up calling me a 'bastard cunt' & told me his mum didn't like me the other day. Granted I shouldn't have slated him but by the 5th hour of trying to shift him I was fully pissed off.

After the name calling I asked his mum to meet me to pick him up (he doesn't drive) he was so angry that I was making him leave.

Was I the one in the wrong? He said it was my fault because I gave him a sleeping tablet. I have insomnia and barely ever have a good nights sleep but I still have to get up and be a mum or go to work so I can't empathise.

OP posts:
MNisMyGuiltyPleasure · 09/01/2023 16:28

Exactly what are you getting from this relationship????

SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 09/01/2023 16:28

If any partner of mine called me a “ bastard cunt”, it would be the last time!

custardbear · 09/01/2023 16:31

^^
What they've both said - what a useless idiot! He literally does nothing does he ... what's the point in him being there except for getting in the way

Iamclearlyamug · 09/01/2023 16:31

SunshineLollipopsAndRainbows · 09/01/2023 16:28

If any partner of mine called me a “ bastard cunt”, it would be the last time!

This! LTB why would you allow anyone to ever speak to you like that?!

session9 · 09/01/2023 16:33

It's whenever I get angry or upset about anything he turns into this angry monster, I feel like I can't get angry.

He acts out and is verbally abusive, then will not leave me alone until I accept his apology. He sent 11 texts after I dropped him off. Saying he loves me and wants it to work, that I don't care, that he thinks I hate him. I'm at the stage where I won't reply as it's every single time he's horrible he tries to hoover me back in. I do love him but he has such a horrible nasty side, he won't communicate with me, can't take criticism, but can also be funny, loving, kind, caring.

It's so draining.

OP posts:
Ginsloth · 09/01/2023 16:33

What advice would you give to your daughter if she had a partner that said and did things your partner does? Take that advice.

Wolfiefan · 09/01/2023 16:35

Abusers don’t constantly abuse. He needs to be an ex partner and never stay over again.

Tiani4 · 09/01/2023 16:35

That's outrageous OP

Of course he can't stay in bed taking up your sofa and sitting room all day. If he wants to lay in bed all day he goes to his home to his own bed!

He's abusive to call you either of those words. That's a deal breaker.

Crimsonripple · 09/01/2023 16:37

He doesn't drive and he doesn't have a job. Seriously what a loser! Move on!

EndlessRain1 · 09/01/2023 16:37

Why are you bothering with him? You've also recently split up as far as I can gather, so why take him back? Get rid OP, the guy is a waster.

session9 · 09/01/2023 16:38

I'm not allowed to be unwell either, he's his worse when I got a cold, I don't understand it at all.

OP posts:
Roundabout78 · 09/01/2023 16:38

He is An absolute waste of space and an abusive prick. What kind of example are you setting for your daughter? Put her first for Christ sake and get rid of this loser.

Whatatimetobealivetoday · 09/01/2023 16:42

You only have yourself to blame for letting this continue.

You can type out how wrong it all is so you know it’s not right that he treats you this way. Do you need a man that much that you will take this shit? Make peace with being alone and get rid of him properly!!

TheNestedIf · 09/01/2023 16:44

He said it was my fault because I gave him a sleeping tablet.

No. It's his fault for name being a bone idle waste of oxygen and for name calling. If he doesn't see he's the problem, he's not going to change, so good for you for getting rid of the rubbish. Let him get angry and upset. It's not your problem anymore.

whattodo1975 · 09/01/2023 16:45

He sounds a right catch.

100% bin him off. His poor mum though having to put up with his shit too.

Suprima · 09/01/2023 16:45

This is just absolute pits

how can you write this down, read it back and not immediately end this ‘relationship’?

Always4Brenner · 09/01/2023 16:48

Get rid he won’t get any better I had years of this with my now ex.

BakedTattie · 09/01/2023 16:48

Dear god he sounds an utter waste of space.

my 3 year old behaves better than him.

Ludo19 · 09/01/2023 16:53

Won a watch with him OP 😱

Bloody hell, what ARE you thinking? He loafs about all day, doesn't work, doesn't drive, I presume no income to pay his share and the cherry on the top he's also verbally abusive. Set your bar higher and be a role model for your DD before its too late.

Wolfiefan · 09/01/2023 16:56

You don’t have to understand it. You just have to not tolerate it any more.

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 09/01/2023 16:59

Kick him out!! Lazy tosser.

LordSugarTits · 09/01/2023 17:00

Why would you want your DD growing up with that?!

CalistoNoSolo · 09/01/2023 17:05

So why are you with him OP?

Topseyt123 · 09/01/2023 17:09

Kick his useless, lazy arse right out of the door and don't look back.

He's bone idle and abusive. What is the point of having him in your life? Things will be better, easier and much more pleasant without him.

MangoBiscuit · 09/01/2023 17:10

Looks like his mask slips when he gets annoyed, and he shows his true self.
Same applies when you're ill. He's annoyed that his partner isn't functioning as it should.

He sounds like a total dickhead tbh.