Did any of you have a ' I divorced him because he left his cup in the sink ' moment?

[bingoagain]

Not sure if that's the exact title of the article but basically it was an article where the wife divorced him because she had enough of his laziness and disrespect despite many pleas for equality and support.
Well, I've just done this and I hope I haven't jumped the gun.
He stayed at my home for days on end and then it ramped up to weeks at a time and did SFA to contribute. He want working at the time.
It came to a head when one evening I came home from work and he had put his empty plastic packaging on top of a tied refuse bag and the kitchen was messy and the dishwasher not filled
It was the last straw of his entitlement and disrespect and of course, I know I didn't need a reason to end the relationship.
I had had a back injury and he would have known I couldn't the refuse bag into the main refuse bin.
I snapped. That was it. I had enough.
He still tells people that I broke up with him because he left his empties on the top of my bin .
Was I too hasty or is this actually reasonable ?

The title of that article is a bit misleading. A self-declared victim puts on the puppy-dog eyes and claims "all I did was..." making his long-suffering (ex) partner out to be the massively unreasonable one.

A better, more accurate, title would be 'She divorced me because I left dishes by the sink. Again. Even though she's told me how it feels like a slap in the face to her when she walks into a kitchen that she's left clean to see her husband has disregarded her feelings yet again and not done a small, simple thing that would signal to her that he does see them as a team. As equals. That her time is not worth less than his. That he understands that she is not there to pick up after him. That he cares about her.'

That's not exactly catchy though, is it? 😁

My ex had to move to the other end of the country for work temporarily. I was travelling there and back every weekend to see him. Hours of travel. (he was sometimes needed saturdays but wouldn't know when, hence why I was doing the travelling). I was already doing his washing and stuff when I went there (I know, I was a mug). Plus he'd promised we could go out and do stuff together but actually he just sat on his ass watching TV. Which was what he did when he lived at home but I thought it might be different there (more fool me).

Anyway, the last straw came when I arrived one weekend to find empty subway bags/papers littering the floor around the bed. He'd already told me on the phone he had the subway on Tuesday, this was Friday! I realised he'd just thrown them on the floor thinking "Fuwari will pick those up when she comes". That was it for me.

I am planning to leave my husband this year. Before Christmas, our eldest child had scarlet fever and was very ill for a week (think screaming all night). We also have a small breastfed baby. I had to breastfeed and rock the baby in between cuddling and caring for the eldest. My husband didn't take any time off work and in fact worked late all week.

Despite me saying I was exhausted and needed a rest that weekend, my husband got up at 3pm both days and went to the supermarket. To buy food for himself. While I cooked freezer food for the rest of us.

OP posted at 15.26, first response posted at 15.30 with an obvious stick up their arse, berating OP.

It's nice to gather more evidence for my hypothesis that there are people just sitting poised, waiting for a new thread to start, with the sole intention of having a pop at the OP. Doesn't seem to matter what the OP is about, they will take the contrary line and be pompous to boot. Happening more and more often.

@bingoagain, no you were not too hasty, you sound as if it was the very opposite of hasty. But, as others have said, you get to the point of that tiny little straw breaking the camel's back, because the camel's back is already bent under the weight of all the preceding straws. You haven't jumped the gun at all, you probably should have got shot of him long since.

'He still tells people that I broke up with him because he left his empties on the top of my bin.'
I'm with Urguth on this - anyone he tells, will know exactly what the real scenario was.

Isn’t that the point of the article? He’s acknowledging it’s the second not the first.

in a relationship I had when I was much younger, not living together, the straw that broke the camel’s back was when he asked me to pay him back for a coffee he’d bought me. I used to pay for everything!

@WhereYouLeftIt it is usually @BabyOnBoard90 as well.

I think once you’ve reached that point there’s no going back.

One of the main reasons I left my now ex dh was because whenever he ate dinner he would eat lying down on the living room floor, on his front with the Argos catalogue to read in front of him and his plate and he’d use a tiny sharp knife like the type you’d use to peel potatoes to eat with, and he’d hold it like a pen.

In the end I just wanted to burn the Argos catalogue and send him to the moon with his little knife and plate.

😆😆😆 I can laugh about it now, divorced from him for nearly 15 years ish now.

I ended a relationship because of something he didn't do. After about 3 years of my continuous support for him, talking him through his (hopeless) attempts at building a career, his MH, family problems etc I had a huge work event and was away for a week. When we met up just after I got back I bought him a drink (as usual) and he didn't even bother to ask how it had gone. Gave him time to remember...nothing. After 2 hours I got up and left and called him later to break up because he was a self-centred bastard! Sure he was mightily surprised.

I think it's fairly obvious OP didn't mean that in her otherwise happy marriage her partner not taking the bin out once led to divorce.

I used to drive 200 miles round trip at weekends after work to see XBF. I had to make myself a coffee when I got there, and there was never a clean cup, piles of washing up in the sink and ashtrays overflowing. He couldn't understand it when I met someone else near to me who was considerate.

So please listen
Up not down
For down is the devil
So roll like a boulder and not like a pebble
You roll like a rock, you roll like a rebel
For this is pure pain
Pick ax and a shovel
Hear no command
Hear just warning
If you wake up in the morning
And wash your face in my sink

You wash your face in my sink

Travelling by train and a heavily pregnant lady alighted , I gave her my seat while he remained in his , I was so disappointed, he hadn't a chivalrous bone in his body .

I applaud you, your ex needs to grow the feck up and and start taking ownership, respect and pride or feck off ..

I have sympathy for small is demeanours, however repeat offenders for laziness, slobbery and not listening or respecting that another muggins will do the task unselfishly like a mother for a baby, need to man up or go home to his own mother (who probably kicked him out)

@SeriouslyMaybe · Today 16:53
I am planning to leave my husband this year. Before Christmas, our eldest child had scarlet fever and was very ill for a week (think screaming all night). We also have a small breastfed baby. I had to breastfeed and rock the baby in between cuddling and caring for the eldest. My husband didn't take any time off work and in fact worked late all week.
Despite me saying I was exhausted and needed a rest that weekend, my husband got up at 3pm both days and went to the supermarket. To buy food for himself. While I cooked freezer food for the rest of us.

Reading this made me feel very sad. I hope you are OK

You either don’t understand the message of this post or your standards are in the gutter.

I hope they get banned soon, they’re full of shit. They’re so quick into threads it makes me suspicious, though.

Exactly!!

Agreed!!

I am, thank you. We are all recovered now and, in amongst the day-to-day grind and sleepless nights, there are many sunny, happy moments. They just don't involve my husband. We are a tight little band of three and my older one adores the baby and is very patient and helpful.

This thread is so helpful. I'm so bloody laid back and so haven't found my anger as they say but I do need to because in retrospect, he was a selfish lazy disrespectful fucker.

I remember one Friday, he arrived to mine without so much a s packet of biscuits for the house but had some
Snacks for himself.

I gave him dinner and he sat and
Played around with the remote control after he'd eaten. Plate on the floor.

Sitting , watching tv was his default
Position. I expect he will be found dead with the rc his hand, some day.

Anyway, it was cold and wet outside and I needed logs from the shed which was in the back garden.
I said I must run and get logs and came back in with an armful of logs because the wicker basket was a bit too heavy.
He looked at me when I came in and smirked.
I asked him why.
He retorted with .... ' just laughing at the state of you with all the logs in your arms, Would you not have brought
Out the basket fgs? ...'
Fucking prick..

Everyone's got their threshold, OP. And when you meet it, you meet it. I've learned that the 'final straw' that flips you has been driven by loads and loads and loads and loads of other things that have ultimately led to breaking point.

I always envision that moment in the film Amelie where the mum finally melts down because she can't deal with the suicidal goldfish anymore. She's probably saved the suicidal goldfish a million times. It's the million first time that breaks her.

This is so sad. I really hope you are able to leave him soon.

It reminds me of when my eldest had chicken pox. She was 18 months and so itchy she could only sleep if I was pretty constantly applying calamine lotion. So I did, all night, between doses of piriton etc.

On the Friday night I was up all night with her. Exh had slept well all night. He was due to be going out on the Saturday eve to a stag night, so obviously not only did he still intend to go, but he of course had to have a nap on the Saturday afternoon to make sure he was full of energy for it. When I mooted the idea we could each have an hour, I got a flat no.

I did actually leave him that day but unfortunately went back again (because when I got to my parents house my father behaved very badly - in a nutshell)

Death by a thousand paper cuts.

Once when my kids were small, 2 & 6 I think, we went to the school fair. Realised on arrival the whole thing was cash only and I just had my card but said to him, oh you've got cash right? Yes he said and wandered off. Half an hour later the children were hungry and he was nowhere to be seen so I rang him and arranged to meet by the hotdog stand. When we got there he had spent all the cash on a hotdog and two beers for himself, so the three of us went without.