"Use your words" Wtf?

[Gymnopedie]

Disclaimer, the nearest I get to social media is on MN. I don't have Fb, Insta, Twitter etc and the only other forums I go on are subject specific, so I've only seen it on here. I get that it may be internet wide. But where's it suddenly come from? What happened to talk to/discuss with/speak to/tell them? They were perfectly descriptive ways of indicating how an issue might be addressed, we didn't need a trendy phrase to replace them.

As you might have gathered, I don't like it!

It's taken from nursery aged children where you encourage them to use their words to tell you what they want rather than crying or tugging at you. Not meant for grown ups.

Okay, you don’t like it. So what?

Just don’t use it.

Not meant for grown ups.

...but highly appropriate in many cases.

I've only ever heard it said to a pre-schooler.

It's just an opportunity to be incredibly patronising.

well I don't see it all over the place (am also not on SM so maybe that figures)
but this is a phrase I would use to a small child, meaning don't express yourself by kicking or hitting me/your sister/the dog- use words to explain what you are feeling and what's wrong.
Therefore, when used to or about an older person you are both advocating for nonviolence but indicating that they are being childish.

I agree with @OutOfTheBluey

It’s a p.a. (and extremely rude) way of telling someone to spit it out. It’s never meant nicely. I would not react kindly to someone saying it to me but I doubt it gets used much in RL as it would likely not end well.

"Use your words" instead of having a tantrum, gesticulating, pulling faces, tugging at you, that sort of thing. To young children who aren't articulating their wants, needs or distress.

To say it to an adult implies you think they are behaving childishly or manipulatively. Like expecting people to pick up hints of what you want instead of asking outright.

Eg - "I was at MIL and she didn't offer me a cup of tea. I mentioned how tired and thirsty I was several times, and looked obviously at the kettle but she didn't do anything"
"Use your words, OP. If you want a drink, just ask her for one."

Not a phrase I would use but I kind of get it, so many AIBU problems would be resolved if people just spoke up about what’s bothering them and ‘use your words’ is similar to ‘use your voice’, meaning don’t be passive and hope things work out, we have mouths and words for
a reason.

TBF so is the OP.

Yep a way of saying “just say what you want/what the problem is” while also pointing out they are acting like a child.

Thank you for the context. In my day (not quite when coal was a halfpenny a bucket) it was tell me what you want/tell me what's the matter.

I still wonder why it's suddenly - it seems to me - started to be used in an adult context. Maybe it is intended to be patronising, but without the context I didn't realise it.

Agree, but the 'new' online way to show everyone how much of a patronising twat you are seems to be people who say 'tell me you know nothing about X without telling me you know nothing about X'.

I always feel like replying 'tell me that you are an arse without telling me that you are an arse'.

Roz says it to Frasier in an episode of Frasier.

Roz Doyle: Come on, Frasier. Talk to me. Use your words
Dr. Frasier Crane: It's just so egregious.
Roz Doyle: 😕 Smaller words.

I say this to my cat all the time.

It seems to be taken from the catalogue of patronising and supposedly witty phrases used behind anonymous accounts on here that you never hear, or would accept, being used in adult conversation in real life.

I hate the expression. Hate it! I've chucked it into the mix a couple of times when threads are started on here about words/phrases we don't like. Agree with pp, it's patronising.

I’ve never heard it used in an adult situation, though I definitely have used it with DS when he’d rather whinge than get to the point.

However I kind of understand the sentiment. I have seen so many stupid arguments on SM (especially Twitter) where one person has formed an argument and instead of responding concisely with their own counter argument, the defendant will just throw back sounds bites, insults or memes. You also see it with people making strange frustrated comments into the nether with explaining what the fuck they are going on about.

So yes, rather patronising but I’m getting to the point that if act like a child, don’t be surprised to be treated like one.

I absolutely hate it.

Patronising fucks.

I use it when my husband grunts at or points at stuff.

I use it when the teens are not explaining a tale of bullshit in coherent sentences.

I tell DS(5yo with ASD) to use his words because otherwise he resorts to trying to communicate in sound effects and gestures. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it? Telling him to speak just upsets him so I usually say “oh that sounds interesting, can you use your words to tell me too please?”

If someone is using it towards you though you are probably behaving in a shitty way. People don't tend to use it to rational people that are engaging in adult conversation. I don't actually see the problem with being a bit patronising towards someone that is acting like a child, act like a grown up and I will treat you like one.

oh nvm, think I’ve missed the point! Assumed this was about the way we speak to children. I’d never tell and adult to use their words.