AIBU dinner guest

107 replies

user8135064726 · 09/01/2023 10:03

To get upset when DH's relative thanks only him after she's been to us for dinner? Every. Single. Time.

OP posts:

Calphurnia88 · 09/01/2023 13:58

ZeroFuchsGiven · 09/01/2023 13:55

But she didnt cook!

I am not saying she should not be thanked for hosting, as she should but she is literally talking about the meal, which she did not cook.

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So then... She's not being unreasonable?

SayNoToPineappleJuice · 09/01/2023 14:16

@Januaryspring
Thanks! We are definitely not perfect on the domestic front, and have had a lot of arguments on the subject (as I do the majority) but one of the areas we've had nailed for a few years now is the kitchen. I do all of the cooking (and a fine job of it if I may say so) and DW does all of the washing up (also, a fine job). If we have people coming around, she knows the best thing she can do to help is to keep herself and our toddler out of the tiny kitchen unless her presence is requested!

pocketvenuss · 10/01/2023 19:39

@ZeroFuchsGiven so prepping vege, checking progress as things are cooking, plating up and clearing up is not 'cooking' but putting the meat in the oven and putting a timer on to indicate when to take it out is cooking? Really?

I know which one I'd rather do.

Hollyhobbi · 29/09/2023 17:26

I'd say dish up. But then I'm Irish so we have our own way of saying things🙃

Jeannie88 · 29/09/2023 17:30

Your DP needs to look at you while bring thanked and say you're welcome, we're glad u enjoyed your dinner WE made?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 29/09/2023 17:43

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 09/01/2023 12:32

OP is NBU if her relative (SIL?) looks at Fred as she leaves and says 'Thanks, Fred, lovely lunch, as ever! See you at the gymn tomorrow?' and then gives Fred a peck on the cheek, sweeping out of the house without a backwards glance at the OP.

OTOH, if she says thanks to both Fred and Jane for having her, but separately thanks Fred for cooking, I can see why.

To my mind, the person keeping an eye on the timings and making the gravy is doing the most skilled job here. Peeling potatoes, carrots, sprouts etc takes time but little skill. Checking whether they're cooked, ditto.

You're surely not suggesting that we only thank people who do skilled jobs for us, and that unskilled tasksm that nevertheless require time and effort, are not worthy of thanks?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 29/09/2023 17:44

I mean if one of you spend all evening at a party making sure everyone's glass is always full of whatever drink they're having, wouldn't you thank them for hosting at the end of the night? Or wouldn't you do it because there is no skill involved in that?

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