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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend asking me for petrol money ...a bit cheeky?

100 replies

idloveitifwemadeit · 09/01/2023 09:46

So I got to my friends house (who lives around 25 minutes away)
We went to the local shop and she said can you transfer £6.25 in to my bank so I can withdraw £50 (as she was short and would of only been able to withdraw £40)
So I did
Then later that night she went to the bar.
It was a cheap social club and the drinks were £2.80 for a gin
I gave her £10 and asked her to get me a gin
She came back and gave me no chance
Now she's my friend so obviously I don't want to ask for my change and just assume she forgot.

The next day she gives me a lift home and as we get home..she asks for £5 for petrol
Bare in mind she got £6.25 already and then another £7.20
Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?

OP posts:
ReiRay · 09/01/2023 09:48

Lash her

Blahburst · 09/01/2023 09:49

yanbu to be annoyed but you should have asked for your change when she came back and reminded her that you transferred money when she asked you for petrol money. Start speaking up for yourself! If your friendship can’t handle that you’re not a friend but a cash machine. Good luck!

Backtoreality1 · 09/01/2023 09:49

Tell her to take it out of your change from the gin

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 09/01/2023 09:50

Consider the £5 + £6.25 + £7.20 the cost for you being such a wet lettuce unable to use your words.

EndlessRain1 · 09/01/2023 09:50

Hopefully you said "ok sure, just keep the change from last night".

Unless you think there's something going on here and she is desperate for money, I would probably not bother with her again.

Lampan · 09/01/2023 09:50

Yes I would find that annoying. Give her the petrol money and at the same time ask her for the other money she owes you.

MoscowMules · 09/01/2023 09:51

Depends, do you want to cause a fuss over £13.45 or do you just want to politely decline next time knowing she pockets change.

It's fair to be annoyed, like it was your change, but personally I'd let this one go, and just move forward giving the odd polite decline to borrowing small amounts of cash, such as "I'm really sorry I wish I could but I'm a bit short this month,so sorry" sorta thing.

RedHelenB · 09/01/2023 09:52

Y ABU to be annoyed and not say well actually you owe me for that bank transfer etc.

Starlightstarbright1 · 09/01/2023 09:52

Well I think the problem is communication.

Did you not buy her a drink vice versa did you not say take it out the £6.25 i gave you yesterday.

What normally happens petrol wise ?

PearPickingPorky · 09/01/2023 09:53

I'd probably just give her the money then never accept a lift, a drink, or a request for money ever again.

AhoyMaBuoy · 09/01/2023 09:58

Christ , just ask for all your money back then give her a fiver , get it out in the open

Alaldlccmemsjzja · 09/01/2023 10:00

tbh I’d just transfer the money and not see her again

GU24Mum · 09/01/2023 10:00

On the assumption you don't want a huge fallout or to seethe with unsaid irritation, I'd opt for a slightly breezier reply:

"Sure : in fact we probably need to a bit of a sort out for the shop money and my change the from the bar. Mine was X and the petrol is Y so I make it £A."

If you get pushback from that, it will tell you about your friend but you won't have been the difficult one.

AppleandSpice · 09/01/2023 10:06

What did you say when she asked for the petrol money?

id have told her to take it from the change she didn’t give you and told her that she actually owes you.

Very much a case of short arms long pockets here. If you say nothing now she’ll just keep taking.

Roundabout78 · 09/01/2023 10:06

GU24Mum · 09/01/2023 10:00

On the assumption you don't want a huge fallout or to seethe with unsaid irritation, I'd opt for a slightly breezier reply:

"Sure : in fact we probably need to a bit of a sort out for the shop money and my change the from the bar. Mine was X and the petrol is Y so I make it £A."

If you get pushback from that, it will tell you about your friend but you won't have been the difficult one.

This. Of course she is unreasonable, but i don’t know why you wouldn’t just say something along the lines of this?

WednesdaysPlaits · 09/01/2023 10:07

"Oh ok yes of course, you owe me £13.45 for my drinks change and the bank transfer so just send me £8 by bank transfer and then we're even. Don't worry about the 45p! Bank details are xx-xx-xx yyyyyyyyyyyy. Lovely to see you xx"

molly1995 · 09/01/2023 10:08

ReiRay · 09/01/2023 09:48

Lash her

🤣🤣

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/01/2023 10:10

I’d say “sure, can you take it out of the X you owe me for the shop money and the drinks. Do you just owe me Y now. Thanks for the reminder!”

FlounderingFruitcake · 09/01/2023 10:12

Reply and say sure happy to cover petrol costs and since you owe you me £13.45 (for the cashpoint and bar) just pay me back £8.45.

If she’s not having that then she’s no friend.

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 09/01/2023 10:14

I'd just say sure keep the change I sent to your bank and the change from the drink for the petrol.

And then don't bother with her anymore.

thefirstmrsrochester · 09/01/2023 10:15

If this is a new set of behaviours from her, and she is otherwise a good and honest friend, I’d tho k she has got financial problems just now, but then again, a good friend should feel able to confide this.

Would she ordinarily asked you for petrol money?

Somebatshitteryonhere · 09/01/2023 10:16

Are you really so unsure of yourself you can’t speak up and even need to seek validation from strangers if you should be annoyed?

is there a back story on your behaviour?

Pterrydactyl · 09/01/2023 10:16

That’s your cue to say something like “sure, you owe me £13.45 from yesterday for that money I transferred into your account and the change from the bar. Let’s take the £5 out of that and now you only owe me £8.45”

You know she’s being unreasonable. I’m sure she knows she’s being unreasonable. If you’re not willing to say anything then stop giving her money.

ImBlueDab · 09/01/2023 10:17

Pterrydactyl · 09/01/2023 10:16

That’s your cue to say something like “sure, you owe me £13.45 from yesterday for that money I transferred into your account and the change from the bar. Let’s take the £5 out of that and now you only owe me £8.45”

You know she’s being unreasonable. I’m sure she knows she’s being unreasonable. If you’re not willing to say anything then stop giving her money.

This

butterfliedtwo · 09/01/2023 10:18

You need to speak up at the time. YABU for not doing that.

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