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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend asking me for petrol money ...a bit cheeky?

100 replies

idloveitifwemadeit · 09/01/2023 09:46

So I got to my friends house (who lives around 25 minutes away)
We went to the local shop and she said can you transfer £6.25 in to my bank so I can withdraw £50 (as she was short and would of only been able to withdraw £40)
So I did
Then later that night she went to the bar.
It was a cheap social club and the drinks were £2.80 for a gin
I gave her £10 and asked her to get me a gin
She came back and gave me no chance
Now she's my friend so obviously I don't want to ask for my change and just assume she forgot.

The next day she gives me a lift home and as we get home..she asks for £5 for petrol
Bare in mind she got £6.25 already and then another £7.20
Aibu to be a bit annoyed ?

OP posts:
SerenaTee · 09/01/2023 10:20

Pterrydactyl · 09/01/2023 10:16

That’s your cue to say something like “sure, you owe me £13.45 from yesterday for that money I transferred into your account and the change from the bar. Let’s take the £5 out of that and now you only owe me £8.45”

You know she’s being unreasonable. I’m sure she knows she’s being unreasonable. If you’re not willing to say anything then stop giving her money.

This is perfect, keep it breezy and factual. She’s not embarrassed about asking so neither should you be in correcting her attempt (whether it’s clumsy or intentional) to make a profit at your expense!

Hellsmovie · 09/01/2023 10:21

I dont think I've ever asked a friend for petrol money.

ThreeLittleDots · 09/01/2023 10:21

If she hasn't got £50 why didn't she just take out £40? I don't get any of this.

Justcallmebebes · 09/01/2023 10:22

Why didn't you ask for your change? As above, just tell her to take it out of the change from the tenner and then dump her as a friend

FabFitFifties · 09/01/2023 10:28

Obviously it's happened, so no good telling you what to say. YANBU. She wouldn't get any more money out of me. I'd probably distance myself. Have you known her long?

ifonly4 · 09/01/2023 10:29

I'd have asked for the two sums it seems she owes you.

How far was the journey? If say 30+ miles, fair enough asking for a contribution or if she gives you lots of lifts, but anything else, she's been cheeky.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/01/2023 10:30

Why did you even give her a tenner for your drink when you'd already given her enough for more than two drinks?

In fact, why did she ask you to transfer the £6.25 in the first place, just to enable her to withdraw £40 instead of £50? Could she not have managed with £40 - especially considering that she's expecting petrol money from you, presumably already having paid-for petrol in the tank? If she so desperately needed access to that extra £3.75 in her account, has she ever heard of debit cards? I hear they're quite widely used by customers in many different businesses these days.

Squirespot · 09/01/2023 10:31

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 09/01/2023 09:50

Consider the £5 + £6.25 + £7.20 the cost for you being such a wet lettuce unable to use your words.

This

Stopclutchingpearls · 09/01/2023 10:31

Why do I keep reading posts like this , where they literally have no voice. Do you have no voice can you not tell your friend like most of us would say hang on a minute I already gave you money. why are people Asking for advice on basic things

Tiani4 · 09/01/2023 10:35

Pterrydactyl · 09/01/2023 10:16

That’s your cue to say something like “sure, you owe me £13.45 from yesterday for that money I transferred into your account and the change from the bar. Let’s take the £5 out of that and now you only owe me £8.45”

You know she’s being unreasonable. I’m sure she knows she’s being unreasonable. If you’re not willing to say anything then stop giving her money.

This ^^

Olive19741205 · 09/01/2023 10:36

She keeps asking for and taking your money because you keep giving it to her without complaint. She knows she can take the piss.

Chandimum · 09/01/2023 10:36

I'm fact, why did you even give her the £10 for the drinks, when she already needed to break her own £10 to give you your £6.25 back???

whoyougonnacallGOATSBUTTER · 09/01/2023 10:39

Ask her to transfer you £13.45 first.

She could have just withdrawn £40. Asking you to give her £6.25 so she can have £50 is basically taking money from you for no reason.

Why do you put up with it, OP?

Itschristmastimeinthecity · 09/01/2023 10:42

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 09/01/2023 09:50

Consider the £5 + £6.25 + £7.20 the cost for you being such a wet lettuce unable to use your words.

That's it

SomeonesKnockingAtTheDoorSomeonesRingingTheBell · 09/01/2023 10:44

Alaldlccmemsjzja · 09/01/2023 10:00

tbh I’d just transfer the money and not see her again

No wonder CFs get away with being CFs with wimpy reactions like this.

"oooh that'll teach her! I wont see her again!" As she pockets nearly £15 of your money 😂bet she would be really bothered

InFiveMins · 09/01/2023 10:45

She's unbelievably cheeky. You need to say something.

MermaidEyes · 09/01/2023 10:47

ThreeLittleDots · 09/01/2023 10:21

If she hasn't got £50 why didn't she just take out £40? I don't get any of this.

That's my thought. If you don't have the money you can't spend it, simple. OP sounds a bit of a mug tbh.

LadyLaLaa · 09/01/2023 10:47

Do you have any communication issues yourself?
Most people would just have said, 'ok, well take it out of the money you kept. '

PurpleButterflyWings · 09/01/2023 10:47

What a bizarre and wacky situation. Never heard anything like it. I can't fathom why 40 pound wasn't enough for what she wanted anyway, and why she had to have 50. Really struggling to get my head round all this. What a weird 'friendship.' Confused

BliainNua · 09/01/2023 10:50

Surely the only answer is... take it out of my change from last night that you never gave to me. You can keep the rest of the change...

Judgyjudgy · 09/01/2023 10:52

Put on your big girl panties and use your words (unless you think there's something going on, in which case as a friend you should still talk to her about it)

Workinghardeveryday · 09/01/2023 10:56

Don’t be a doormat op, stand up for yourself!!

mindutopia · 09/01/2023 10:59

I would just ignore her and phase her out a bit. How far away do you live that she is charging £5 a ride?! It has never even crossed my mind to ask a friend for petrol money. But also, if she only has £40 in her account, really, she shouldn't be going out for £2.80 gins, right? It sounds like she is treating you like a bank. I don't think you'll get your money back, but I'd put some distance there and perhaps only meet up on neutral ground (no rides, no rounds, no sharing money).

SafferUpNorth · 09/01/2023 11:12

Eh? If it bothers you, why didn't you just speak up and say "OK sure, just subtract it from the change you owe me from the drink" or something like that?

Separately, how close are you? Would she feel free to confide in you if she was having financial trouble (which by the sounds of it, she probably is ). If you want to be a friend to her, how about adding something like "Friend, it seems to me you might be a bit tight for cash right now. I cannot lend you any, plus borrowing money from friends won't help you. But have you approached Citizens Advice etc for help and advice?"

GimmeBiscuits · 09/01/2023 11:15

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/01/2023 10:10

I’d say “sure, can you take it out of the X you owe me for the shop money and the drinks. Do you just owe me Y now. Thanks for the reminder!”

This!

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