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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

After school detention every time they're late...

136 replies

OhBitchPeas · 09/01/2023 08:21

Is that usual for secondary schools? If you're 2 mins or 2 hours late it's an after school detention every time.

Is that the usual? If

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 09/01/2023 23:10

Also, detentions don’t work.

Aldith · 10/01/2023 00:02

At my first Primary school on a Friday we finished at lunchtime and the last hour on a Friday was known as golden time. We could play board games, chat with friends or read (no electronic devices were allowed) as long as we stayed in the classroom. For every lateness or being cheeky etc you lost 5 minutes of golden time and the teacher would instead set you extra maths problems to complete.

My second primary school gave out what they called black marks if you were late. Five black marks resulted in a conduct mark and your parents were contacted to find out why you were late.

In secondary school five instances of being late without a valid excuse and you were given lines as extra homework which your parents had to sign to acknowledge you had been late.

echt · 10/01/2023 00:17

Pumperthepumper · 09/01/2023 23:10

Also, detentions don’t work.

They do if you do them right.

I only gave detentions for in-class behaviour and made sure they were a whopper. No-one ever came back.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 10/01/2023 00:17

Westernesse · 09/01/2023 23:09

It prevents children from accessing school transport and they need to make their own way home. Some children have died as a result. In our case there is no public transport to where we live.

and I think I have also mentioned that detaining children is generally frowned upon in most settings and that schools have no legal standing for such policies.

Show quote history

This?
www.forbes.com/sites/nickmorrison/2014/08/31/the-surprising-truth-about-discipline-in-schools/?sh=7a001db43f83

I also disagree with detention. Punishment and humiliation only serve to encourage distrust, resentment of authority, anger, sadness and a sense of isolation.

Pixiedust1234 · 10/01/2023 00:25

OhBitchPeas · 09/01/2023 13:06

Rather judgemental tone there.
Happy Monday to you too!

Show quote history

Not really... I was asking why they were consistently late to the point that they were getting detentions. I was trying to help. Cant help if you don't explain the why. So actually you were the judgemental one here 🙄

MojoMoon · 10/01/2023 00:29

Live right next to a secondary school - they get after school detention if late. It's the same detention if you are 60 seconds after the gate close as if you are 60 minutes.

My neighbour's kids tell me - and I see this for myself from the balcony - that kids running down the road then realising they are not going to make it in time for the gate closure decide they may as well sod off down to the shop and get some snacks before heading back into school later.

Does seem a weird system to give kids the same punishment regardless of how late they are and incentivised them to be very late instead of just a little late.

Pretty sure when I was at school your afternoon detention was twice the amount of time you were late for, so you will still incentivised to go in even if a few mins late. You just had to go to detention - supervised by the mean head of year - briefly after school.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/01/2023 00:31

Yes.

Parentandteacher · 10/01/2023 00:32

Good Lord, secondary schools are mental now! No wonder loads of the very normal parents I know are considering home educating.

Parentandteacher · 10/01/2023 00:39

LimeCheesecake · 09/01/2023 20:42

@Westernesse - when our dc started secondary, part of the welcome pack when we were asked to accept our offered place included the discipline policy and we were asked to sign something to say we’d read it and we agreed to send our dc to that school. (It isn’t a comp so slightly different).

when we looked round schools, we were told about discipline policies and guided to where they were on the school website. I really like that way of making sure everyone knows where they stand and what you agree to in advance.

for my dcs school, lateness without reasonable excuse (reasonable ones are like train didn’t move or bus was late etc) that will be a loss of part of break/lunch, for after school detentions, they get a warning and after 3 warnings in a week, a detention. The parent gets an email about each warning.

Yes I’ve ruled out many schools for their authoritarian behaviour policies. I can’t abide schools that codify a bullying abusive culture. I’m convinced that if most schools were workplaces everyone on mumsnet would be telling you to leave the toxic workplace immediately and get a lawyer. It teaches children to submissive to unjust power. Not something I want for my children and downright dangerous for a society as a whole.

RandomPerson42 · 10/01/2023 00:42

Persistent lateness is just rude and not acceptable.

FoxCorner · 10/01/2023 00:51

www.gov.uk/school-discipline-exclusions

After school detention every time they're late...
FoxCorner · 10/01/2023 01:03

LimeCheesecake · 09/01/2023 20:42

@Westernesse - when our dc started secondary, part of the welcome pack when we were asked to accept our offered place included the discipline policy and we were asked to sign something to say we’d read it and we agreed to send our dc to that school. (It isn’t a comp so slightly different).

when we looked round schools, we were told about discipline policies and guided to where they were on the school website. I really like that way of making sure everyone knows where they stand and what you agree to in advance.

for my dcs school, lateness without reasonable excuse (reasonable ones are like train didn’t move or bus was late etc) that will be a loss of part of break/lunch, for after school detentions, they get a warning and after 3 warnings in a week, a detention. The parent gets an email about each warning.

My dcs' secondary (a comp) did the same. I assumed it was standard?

Nogbreaks · 10/01/2023 10:04

DS was late to school registration yesterday ( despite actually being in school) then late back from lunch by a few mins. He now has an hours detention today after school - which I whole heartedly support because how else will he learn?!
30 mins per late episode.
I could go on at him all day long about being on time and being more organised but it'll fall on deaf ears, whereas missing out on walking home with friends or missing some lunch/break time will have an affect

Itisbetter · 10/01/2023 10:05

@RandomPerson42 Persistent lateness is just rude and not acceptable

Not really. Persistent lateness normally has a cause. You’d be a fool to assume that was “can’t be arsed”. Luckily our school behave like reasonable people and help rather than chastise.

NotAnotherBathBomb · 10/01/2023 10:23

OhBitchPeas · 09/01/2023 13:09

Thanks for your help everyone!

I have one in year 11 and one in year 7.

It used to be 3 lates = detention.

Then all the staff left, last year was a year of supply teachers and general chaos.

Now there's a new head, new everyone, there's not one teacher who didn't quit.

Now it's detention after all lateness so it's gone from one extreme to another and I wondered what the norm actually was.

Sounds like the school was in a mess and they're adopting stricter policies in an attempt to being things back into control

MrsCarson · 10/01/2023 11:12

No detentions for being late at Dd's school. No after school detentions for anything. All but a handful of kids are brought in on school transport, Dd's bus was late for the whole of years 7 and 8 by about 10 minutes, and is still occasionally late in year 13.
The school buses take them home too. So no rural busses go anywhere near where lots kids live.
Busses are so unreliable that I will be making sure I'm off on the days she has A levels so I can drive her in myself so she is there at the start of each exam.

Pumperthepumper · 10/01/2023 11:40

echt · 10/01/2023 00:17

They do if you do them right.

I only gave detentions for in-class behaviour and made sure they were a whopper. No-one ever came back.

Show quote history

Whats a whopper in detention terms?

lieselotte · 10/01/2023 12:20

lbnblbnb · 09/01/2023 20:26

The norm. To be honest, the start time of school doesn't change day to day, time keeping and getting somewhere on time is a pretty basic skill - as proven by the vast majority of students getting to school on time every day.

Yes, there may be reasonable adjustments made for some students for particular reasons but really, complaining about punishments for being late - just get there on time? Like most people have to for work?

If a child is late every day or often because they can't be bothered to get out of bed, you are completely right.

If their bus or train is late every day, and they can't get a different one, or one that leaves at a reasonable time, that's not their fault.

The employment context isn't comparable because if you had a job you just couldn't get to on time, you'd find another one (either voluntarily or because you were pushed). And you're an adult when you work (or at least over 16), not a child who may still be dependent on their parents to get them to school on time.

lieselotte · 10/01/2023 12:21

Actually my son's school has largely done away with detentions now. They have "restorative meetings" instead.

lieselotte · 10/01/2023 12:23

Yes I’ve ruled out many schools for their authoritarian behaviour policies. I can’t abide schools that codify a bullying abusive culture. I’m convinced that if most schools were workplaces everyone on mumsnet would be telling you to leave the toxic workplace immediately and get a lawyer. It teaches children to submissive to unjust power. Not something I want for my children and downright dangerous for a society as a whole

I do think we expect kids to put up with behaviours we'd never put up with as adults.

WhatNoRaisins · 10/01/2023 12:23

Sounds like they are trying to clamp down on a problem. Think it depends on the school, some schools have lots of people that walk whereas others have a larger proportion who depend on (often unreliable) busses.

Notsa · 10/01/2023 12:33

One of my DCs secondary gave out detentions for everything and anything (except bullying which they couldn't give two shits about).

FoxCorner · 10/01/2023 15:03

Our local Oasis Academy does this. An hour on the same day. My dcs school does 2 lates in a week = lunchtime detention. I prefer this as then if they're late once they can make sure they're not late again. If there's a valid reason. Eg school bus late, it isn't counted

hotdiggetydog · 10/01/2023 15:20

They don't miss planes or trains.

Don't be late for school.

Quite simple.

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