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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

After school detention every time they're late...

136 replies

OhBitchPeas · 09/01/2023 08:21

Is that usual for secondary schools? If you're 2 mins or 2 hours late it's an after school detention every time.

Is that the usual? If

OP posts:
LimeCheesecake · 09/01/2023 19:50

Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 09/01/2023 14:35

Sounds like a good way to increase absences. "I'm late so I'll get a detention so I just won't go and fake a note from my mum in my student planner"

I bet the stress of immediate punishment doesn't help school refusal either.

That doesn’t work in schools that are trying to focus on attendance - at mines school, if they haven’t arrived by the end of form time, and there’s been no call or email sent to say they aren’t coming in the system automatically sends a text to the parent number listed saying they haven’t arrived at school and can the parent confirm if they are staying at home. Usually an email is sent as well. By end of first period, they start calling all those who’ve not responded to the text with a “sorry forgot to tell you they’re at the dentists”.

Kids can’t just not turn up and bring in a letter the next day, it’s a safeguarding issue if the parents believe they’ve left for school and didn’t arrive.

LimeCheesecake · 09/01/2023 19:53

my Kids school does break or lunchtime detention for lateness - not the whole time but enough to inconvenience them. After school seems harsh and I presume it’s to annoy parents who have to go pick them up after missing school buses etc into forcing them out of the house on time in the mornings.

does the school have problems with attendance? Hopefully this will work to get kids in earlier.

TrashPanda · 09/01/2023 20:09

Same day after school detention for lateness at our secondary. Late is after the register has closed which is about 5 minutes after tutor time starts. We've had one detention while I was away from home and DS ending up staying at MILs rather than at home with DP. There was a day when the main route past town was closed early morning due to a fatal accident, it caused gridlock through the town, the secondary route everyone was directed to went right past school, and around 75% of children were late, there were no lateness detentions that day because it was out of the control of parents or children.

Westernesse · 09/01/2023 20:11

There will be none of this shit when my kids start at secondary school. My kids will be instructed not to comply with any form of detention without my or my wife’s agreement.

TrashPanda · 09/01/2023 20:13

Westernesse · 09/01/2023 20:11

There will be none of this shit when my kids start at secondary school. My kids will be instructed not to comply with any form of detention without my or my wife’s agreement.

Confused
Idontmeanto · 09/01/2023 20:14

Twice in the same week = detention at my place

Pterrydactyl · 09/01/2023 20:17

Streamside · 09/01/2023 19:21

My local school sadly had a fatality after a child was kept in after school detention. An extremely rural area and the child was killed on their way home after having to take a late bus. The teacher didn't come back to school and it was horrendous for everyone. All detentions are now lunch time.

This is tragic. And this sort of scenario is one thing that worries me about potential after school detentions at my DC’s secondary school.

There’s a lot of pupils who get school buses in from outlying villages.
There are “late” buses for the outlying villages, that the school provides for pupils participating in after school clubs, but school policy is that pupils doing after school detentions aren’t allowed to use these late buses.

Which you’d surely think is a safeguarding issue, as the pupils on the school buses to these villages are typically coming in from 3+ miles away, on routes that are along roads with 60mph speed limits and partly without pavements. And public transport isn’t great round here either.

We have a car, so it’s not so much of a safety issue for us in the event of our DC getting detentions, but not everyone has access to a car.

Pumperthepumper · 09/01/2023 20:17

Westernesse · 09/01/2023 20:11

There will be none of this shit when my kids start at secondary school. My kids will be instructed not to comply with any form of detention without my or my wife’s agreement.

This is the best way to do it, vote with your feet.

Westernesse · 09/01/2023 20:20

Pumperthepumper · 09/01/2023 20:17

This is the best way to do it, vote with your feet.

The school will simply be told “no”. They don’t get to “detain” my child. Sorry, but they have no lawful right to do so and it’s doesn’t work for us.

Pumperthepumper · 09/01/2023 20:21

Westernesse · 09/01/2023 20:20

The school will simply be told “no”. They don’t get to “detain” my child. Sorry, but they have no lawful right to do so and it’s doesn’t work for us.

Yes, I’m agreeing with you. It’s an archaic throwback and it doesn’t work anyway.

ADHDPI · 09/01/2023 20:21

I used to work with children from all kinds of disadvantaged backgrounds and a lot of the time they'd be late for school because their parents were useless and didn't give a shit. Would the child then be given detention if it was their parents who dropped them off and caused them to be late? Just put of curiosity... My son is still nursery age.

BlackeyedSusan · 09/01/2023 20:25

3lates in a week mean detention. (that's for all lessons and mornings so 3/30)

lbnblbnb · 09/01/2023 20:26

The norm. To be honest, the start time of school doesn't change day to day, time keeping and getting somewhere on time is a pretty basic skill - as proven by the vast majority of students getting to school on time every day.

Yes, there may be reasonable adjustments made for some students for particular reasons but really, complaining about punishments for being late - just get there on time? Like most people have to for work?

Westernesse · 09/01/2023 20:29

lbnblbnb · 09/01/2023 20:26

The norm. To be honest, the start time of school doesn't change day to day, time keeping and getting somewhere on time is a pretty basic skill - as proven by the vast majority of students getting to school on time every day.

Yes, there may be reasonable adjustments made for some students for particular reasons but really, complaining about punishments for being late - just get there on time? Like most people have to for work?

No. A school does not get to “detain” my child as a form of punishment.

the answer is no.

lbnblbnb · 09/01/2023 20:29

Westernesse · 09/01/2023 20:11

There will be none of this shit when my kids start at secondary school. My kids will be instructed not to comply with any form of detention without my or my wife’s agreement.

So when your kids start work, same thing? Can you not see that they need to take responsibility rather than you giving them a let out constantly? It is only getting to school on time: a basic skill. If they are being given a let out for that, how will they rise to far far harder challenges?

PollyEsther · 09/01/2023 20:31

ADHDPI · 09/01/2023 20:21

I used to work with children from all kinds of disadvantaged backgrounds and a lot of the time they'd be late for school because their parents were useless and didn't give a shit. Would the child then be given detention if it was their parents who dropped them off and caused them to be late? Just put of curiosity... My son is still nursery age.

The short answer to this is yes.

All schools are really struggling these days, but the secondary sector is an absolute state. I’d much rather teach secondary than primary, but as a trainee I feel I’ve been forced down because I absolutely refuse to engage with this sort of culture.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/01/2023 20:32

You wouldn’t normally drop off or pick up a secondary school aged kid though, the norm is that they’d make their own way and be responsible for timings.

PollyEsther · 09/01/2023 20:33

lbnblbnb · 09/01/2023 20:29

So when your kids start work, same thing? Can you not see that they need to take responsibility rather than you giving them a let out constantly? It is only getting to school on time: a basic skill. If they are being given a let out for that, how will they rise to far far harder challenges?

How many times have you been forcibly kept at work for an hour after your finish time for being 2 minutes late in?

Never happened? Shocker. Why are we OK with treating children this way when we wouldn’t accept it ourselves?

Westernesse · 09/01/2023 20:35

lbnblbnb · 09/01/2023 20:29

So when your kids start work, same thing? Can you not see that they need to take responsibility rather than you giving them a let out constantly? It is only getting to school on time: a basic skill. If they are being given a let out for that, how will they rise to far far harder challenges?

Attending work is not mandated by law but is an adult responsibility. And it is paid.

if you are late for work you don’t get to be detained by your employer as a form of punishment.

while my kids are kids I will advocate for them and detention is a flat no.

Notsa · 09/01/2023 20:37

My daughter's school gave them out for anything and everything. I refused for my daughter to do after school. It is not safe. They didn't challenge me on it.

Detentions for everything except bullying. That they couldn't give two shits about.

Needless to say none of my other children went to that secondary..

lbnblbnb · 09/01/2023 20:38

@PollyEsther
No, lateness would lead to warnings etc and then potentially sacking.
School is an incredibly protected environment trying to prepare them for the real world.

I'll say it again: the vast majority of secondary kids get to school on time, day after day after day.
I agree with reasonable adjustments if there is a genuine issue,
If it is a case of just can't get organised to get there on time, make a choice: get better organised, or do the detention.

It isn't imposed, it is a choice. If you don't want to do the detention - get there on time. Like most students do.

lbnblbnb · 09/01/2023 20:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Kennykenkencat · 09/01/2023 20:39

As someone who was regularly late for everything I probably wouldn’t have bothered going on.

In my brain

Being 2 minutes late = 1 hours detention

Going to be 2 minutes late = Free day to do as I pleased.

Notsa · 09/01/2023 20:39

My daughter's school gave them out for anything and everything. I refused for my daughter to do after school. It is not safe. They didn't challenge me on it.

Detentions for everything except bullying. That they couldn't give two shits about.

Needless to say none of my other children went to that secondary..

lbnblbnb · 09/01/2023 20:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request