"It's so outing" - is it really?

[FatCatSkinnyRat]

I've noticed so many threads say "it's so outing, I can't go into it".

or

"I've name changed as this is outing".

Has anyone ever read an AIBU and actually known the person posting, beyond shadow of a doubt? I suspect the minutiae of our lives are important and memorable to ourselves but probably not to others, but AIBU to think so?

I have recognized someone on MN.

@Mycatisanarsehole 😂😂

I've been outed and recognised 2 others on here over the years.

I recognised someone due to a post on here matching Facebook…I searched her posts and the details she provide matched exactly what I know about that person. Even the user name was based on a common nickname for her name. So things can be outing.

I was recognised, and I recognised two people from a post here I knew irl.
If you have a lot of friends who are on here, and you go through something at any given time, they know, and you write about it, chances are even if it is something 'generic' they will know.

Yes that was similar to the posts I saw. It related to cycling and the purchase of a bike, and the person complained on here and in a Facebook group for cyclists. Although it's a while ago now and I have no idea who it was anymore, or even which FB cycle group it was, as I am only a member of one now.

I recognised someone without a shadow of doubt, but it was an AMA so extremely specific/ identifying. I had been a close friend of this person at one point and she disclosed things on the thread she hadn't shared with me back then, my heart ached to think she had been going through those things.

We had drifted apart though remain 'friends' on social media. I feel extra delighted when she posts happy updates/ family things as I now know things weren't entirely rosy for her in the past. I hope she can feel my good vibes floating through the air!

Does it matter, or does it cause problems?

Aye, especially when it's something like fucking golf or cycling which are such minority ones.

This is me. I never look at usernames unless I’m quoting (or someone says “great username btw!) and then it’s gone from my brain.

I think people just underestimate the number of people who use this forum, and overestimate how interested people in real life are about the details of situations they're in.

But there's no harm in name changing if you don't want the thread to be associated with your MN persona.

Why would anybody bother to search a person's posting history? Who has the time, or the motivation?

People do though. There are always the ones who like to pull everything someone says apart (“but 6 months ago you said that you and your sister got on well, now you have said you have always fought? Which is it?”), and they are like dogs with a bone, demanding answers or seeming someone a troll.

They must be really fucking bored.

*deeming

The hobby is not outing in itself- thousands and thousands of people play golf or whatever.
It DOES make it outing if someone you know reads it and knows what the husband's hobby is and knows of your personal situation irl, and can put two and two together.
I once read a post here written by a colleague. The situation was fairly generic (problem with employer and childcare), but she did mention something in her post about her partner that I knew from real life as well, and I knew about the childcare problem as I overheard her say it to someone else. I didn't know the detail, I found these from the post!
If you saw her on a bus (hehe), you would not have a clue, but if you knew the person, it was very easy to figure out who she was and some of the other posts I made it even more obvious.

The issue is more people than we thought are around here, even lurking, not posting, so yeah, I guess no one wants to be that person everyone knows makes sad Mumsnet posts to complain about their life.