Friends pregnant for the second time in a year

[Anon6713]

I’m 18, my friend who has just turned 17 is now pregnant with her second baby within a year. Her first baby was taken away from her after about 2 months, she was doing drugs while pregnant with him and stopped for the 2 months she had him, she had to go to court and was moved into a mother and baby unit with him until she lost the case. She’s now gone back to doing drugs and announced a few days ago that she’s pregnant again, with a different guy that she’s been dating for about 3 weeks. She’s saying she’s gonna move in with him, and that she’s keeping the baby. A day before she found out she was pregnant she was on coke and mdma. Aibu to think this is disgusting and to not understand why some of my mates are supporting her decision to keep it?

I wouldn't want to keep a friend like this. She won't change unfortunately but you can choose to not be around it.

Can you contact social care to inform them of the pregnancy?

yes it is very sad,
more so for the babies involved. However some people, esp with addictions, just aren’t in the right place to make logical reasonable decisions.

I am afraid I would distance myself from her really rapidly.

We used to be good mates but after everything that happened with her baby we’ve all distanced ourselves and we haven’t really spoke for a while.

So sad, I hope you're ok, it can be a shock realising that other peoples mores do not match yours.

The authorities should probably take some blame. Lots of women that have kids taken away get pregnant again very quickly. The authorities can save themselves a lot in the long term by offering proper counselling and as part of it encouraging long term contraception but few have joined up services. This one will probably be taken and she’ll have number 3 next year which may well be taken too, guess what happens next. Poor girl, poor kids.

I wouldn’t say she’s struggling with addiction, more just thinks it’s fun to do mdma, coke and acid. She’s a care kid anyway so already involved with social services, even before her first baby.

I promise it’s not, I just feel like I can’t really talk much to my friends about it without it getting back to her and causing issues

I imagine she is known to social services and sadly this baby won't stay with her either

It doesn't sound like she's really a friend worth having unless she's ready to receive support to stop the drug taking and turn things around.

I can see why people would think this is fake but it’s genuinely not, I wish it was.

poor teenager - set up,to fail from the outset

Yeah it is really sad but I struggle to feel sorry for her when she’s repeating the exact same mistakes as before.

There's a woman I follow on Facebook similar. Baby no 9.
Its a car crash, each year, she pops out a new one. Fights to keep the baby but never changes her life to keep them.

What a lot of identifiable details about someone who's clearly not your friend. Almost like you're trying to get a strong reaction from people for whatever reason.

You're young and naive and clearly don't know a lot about mental health, addiction, and other problems that can arise from being in care, so maybe best use your time to read up on it rather than get people to slag off your vulnerable 'friend' so you can feel superior.

Why are you following her on Facebook?

Trust me I do know about mental health and addiction. I know for a fact she and any of my mates or people won’t be on here or see it. And I myself live in supported accommodation.

👏👏👏

Some people don’t have the capacity, for a variety of reasons, to make changes to their life/behaviour. I highly doubt she wants to have multiple children removed. She’s probably just living too much of a chaotic and damaged life to be able to do what she needs to do to keep her children (and likely herself) safe.

it’s very sad for her and the children.
I wish there better, more intensive support for mums in this position. What is available in most areas isn’t nearly good enough.

She won’t be keeping it, it won’t be her choice.

An old friend of mine tried this. A flag was raised after her booking appointment, SS involved before she even had her 12 week scan, and yes, the baby was removed at birth.

@DuplicateUserName

😅 I know

she's already had one child removed, what makes her think she'll have any say in keeping the second?

No you don't otherwise you would be trying to support her instead of use her situation for a bit of Internet attention and bitching.

That’s true but even when she was pregnant and after she had the baby she would say that she can’t wait to come and sesh with us again, and then did and basically gave up on the court case because she wanted to carry on drinking and doing drugs