Friends pregnant for the second time in a year

[Anon6713]

I’m 18, my friend who has just turned 17 is now pregnant with her second baby within a year. Her first baby was taken away from her after about 2 months, she was doing drugs while pregnant with him and stopped for the 2 months she had him, she had to go to court and was moved into a mother and baby unit with him until she lost the case. She’s now gone back to doing drugs and announced a few days ago that she’s pregnant again, with a different guy that she’s been dating for about 3 weeks. She’s saying she’s gonna move in with him, and that she’s keeping the baby. A day before she found out she was pregnant she was on coke and mdma. Aibu to think this is disgusting and to not understand why some of my mates are supporting her decision to keep it?

To understand all this and perhaps have some compassion, it's necessary to understand how trauma can manifest. Some people develop unhealthy coping strategies - like drugs - to block out the pain and unresolved emotions and others repeat the same patterns from their own traumatic past endlessly until eventually the penny drops and they use it to heal and recover from what happened to them.

Your friend is doing both. Until she either has some therapy or gets into a stable healthy relationship where she can feel loved and secure, and recognise her own patterns of behaviour, then she is currently on this pathway of seeming self destruction. It's a massive cry for help.

Social services will most probably take this child into care too. It's the effect on their lives and whether this trauma will be passed on to yet another generation that's particularly heartbreaking.

What? Neither am I

I wouldn’t be friends with someone like this. I know a woman like this, always doing drugs and drinking and partying. I went to school with her so that’s how I know her. We’re in out late 30s now and she’s still acting like a 17 year old. She’s had 3 children all taken away from her, she had weekend access to 2 of them for a while but now even that has been stopped. If this girl is anything like the woman I know, she’ll have all her kids taken off her and continue to ‘party’ through her life. She started on weed, moved up to pills, nowadays she’s a full blown crack head with an only fans account. I still have her on my Facebook so I still see bits of her life, the bits what she chooses to post, and she no longer mentions any of her kids, she prefers to pretend they never existed.

this isn’t your Facebook page

So you wouldn’t be friends with a person like this , yet willing to be friends and nosey on her Facebook?

Absolutely.