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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stop TTC because DH won't get genetic tests done?

102 replies

ttcstop · 07/01/2023 19:29

Fertility journey is now into its fourth year and we have had tests done prior to now but continue to have miscarriages.

I've had operations to clear up endo and other issues but since had further miscarriage.

GP has now advised Karyotyping test which is usually expensive but we qualify for free and then I'll tell us if any genetic disorders exist. I'm also supposed to go for womb lining tests this month but I may cancel it because I had my genetic testing but DH is making out going for his a huge huge deal.

All he has to do is drive 45 minutes to the hospital for a blood test and he keeps insisting because he has googled these tests and there's such a low probability of it being the issue he doesn't see the point.

It's making me want to just stop this whole process out of principle. Why can't he just get the test despite it being highly likely to be anything why should I have to conjure my tests and then potentially go through IVF without him first ruling out every possible thing.

Is it extreme to stop TTC? But then what happens then I just cannot figure out what to do for the best really getting me down.

NC don't want links to other posts

OP posts:
AfraidToRun · 08/01/2023 16:44

If you have exhausted all communication channels and have to email a partner, then I don't think they are really partner...

I had health issues, my ex refuses to attend any appointment as I couldn't rely him at all, I had to get through it by myself.

If hes not there for you now, how will he be through any pregnancy etc?

ittakes2 · 08/01/2023 17:31

ttcstop · 07/01/2023 20:15

@ittakes2 😂😂😂 your pet made me chuckle! Thank you.

Those other tests you mentioned is that NKCells? If so that the next tests im supposed to do but im considering halting because of this post

If you're talking about something else can you give me the technical medical name for them as so many tests have been suggested I lose track.

DH initially did the sperm test btw but that was two years ago now and the only test he has to endure

Men are funny about their sperm - my husband's was full of two heads and no tails - basically zero and he was convinced the man in front had swapped the test tubes. We had to have ICSI because the clinic did not trust his sperm to crack open the eggs! But even then after we had our lovely twins and we discussed contraception... he didn't want to have a vasectomy!

Even though my cycle hormones were fine - I had some tests done at an Australian clinic on a visit home because they tend to test more there. I a) found out I had a prothrombin gene which made my blood clot more than others - wasn't stopping me conceiving but they thinned my blood during pregnancy and operations now because of it b) I have a heart shaped uterus - it was very minory and again wasn't affecting conception but during IVF they put embroys in a slightly different place because of it and c) the big one...that I had CIN 3 on my cervix the stage before cancer. That trip to the IVF clinic prob saved my life!

If you test - test for you - as its free testing I would do it anyway just incase you find helpful information about your own body which might help you with your next baby daddy...

This is what I am talking about - I bought the original 2006 book and I haven't read the new version but its by the same author and much cheaper!
www.amazon.co.uk/Your-Body-Baby-Friendly/dp/0978507851/ref=sr_1_1?crid=XD7W8B0WK4CI&keywords=is+your+body+baby+friendly&qid=1673198602&sprefix=is+your+body+baby+friendly%2Caps%2C72&sr=8-1

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