Child at the gym

[CosyScentedCandles]

I go to a local leisure centre gym 4-5 times a week. Because it is only a leisure centre, I accept that it has to be available to meet a range of needs and part of that is that they allow kids from 15 to use the gym at specific times. This doesn’t bother me, I generally avoid the teen-gym slots and if I don’t it is usually one harmless 16 year old girl using a cross trainer.

What is really winding me up is that there is a woman who seems to regularly sneak her 10-11yo in with her so that she can work out. She plonks him on a machine or a bench and he proceeds too much about with the equipment, preventing somebody else from using it properly. Apart from the fact he his taking up room in what is a small gym, AIBU to think that some places are simply not appropriate for children and to want some time in an adults only space?

I feel like I want to complain but I don’t know 🤷🏼‍♀️

"There are some groups I'd love to attend but can't right now because I would never take him somewhere unsuitable. Because it would be unfair on other people and him."

Yes, that's parenthood. Sometimes you can't do everything you want to do.

Flag it to the gym. They’d want to know as likely against policy, against insurance regulations, and a health and safety nightmare. Young children should not be in gyms. Surely that’s common sense.

That means nothing at all. My DD is 4ft 4, no signs of puberty & is 12.

She's regularly at the local leisure centre gym too as ours allows membership from 11 years old. She can go unaccompanied in the youth gym sessions or with an adult at any other time.

Yabvu & equally judhmental. If you want an "adult only" space then join an adult only gym.

Jesus cries more easily than I’d thought..,

Either ask him to move or complain to the gym. If your gym doesn't allow children then he shouldn't be there. If he's 10/11 then he should be fine to be left at home for an hour or two whilst mum works out.

I'm very grateful that my gym does allow children (who have membership!). Accompanied children are allowed on the gym floor from age 10 as long as they've had a gym induction with the gym staff. 14 year olds are allowed on the gym floor without a parent and are allowed in classes with a parent. They are allowed full access from 16.

I take my two DC to the gym and they don't muck about or hog equipment. I make sure I teach them gym etiquette about wiping down machines and putting things back after use. I'm trying to get them into good long term habits and enjoying a healthy lifestyle. My 13yo really enjoys a good workout- we usually do a bit of a warm up then do our own circuit, focussing on exercises that will help with his football. The 10yo is less keen but enjoys using the bikes and rowing machine once we drag him there.

I take my fitness very seriously, I just don’t want your little darling around when I do it. I use it as my time away from children as I work with them as well as them being at home.

Now stop patronising people, dickish attitudes like yours are what put people off attending gyms and starting exercise.

It's still dangerous for him to be in the gym at all and other users (who might be enjoying rare child free time away from their own kids) shouldn't have to be managing someone else's child. Using a gym isn't essential. When mine were younger I worked out at home or went for a walk with the kids because I wasn't able to get childcare to use a gym.

If the gym’s minimum age is 15 then that’s their rules so if you don’t like it then vote with your wallet and go elsewhere to whoever will accommodate your young DC using the gym.

Report to management and if he does then then out to be age 15+ then his DM and a gym instructor need to teach him how to use the equipment correctly (not as play equipment as you have said). Don’t hesitate to ask him politely to move if he’s playing around for ages on equipment.

Gyms are mostly adult/teen session spaces and parents need to find alternative gyms or ways to exercise if a gym’s rules will not accommodate their young DC.

I'd also add that alot the posts on these kinds of threads sound like they come from people who are quite mentally ill. Before I developed an eating disorder I assumed they were just unpleasant people but knowing what I do now they might be disordered.

It is absolutely not essential or even especially beneficial to health to do very intense exercise which requires specialist equipment. It can be enjoyable if you're into it but it doesn't make you a better person. You can easily get all the exercise you need at home or simply remaining active in your everyday life. No one is lazy just because don't do formal exercise. If you genuinely believe that you're suffering from disordered thoughts. (I actually do enjoy doing intense exercise now that I have time)

Another commenter clearly incapable of reading. OP clearly stated that it IS an adult-only gym, with over-15s permitted at specific times.

Not being funny but how does it affect you personally? Unless he's mucking about on something u want to go on them just tell him to get off. I don't see how a 10/11 year old is gonna be much of a nuisance compared to if it was a 3 year old running and screaming about THEN I would complain. This is probably the only time she can go, she clearly has no help at home so maybe let it slide.

I’d mention it to staff. I very much doubt they are insured to have him mucking about on the equipment

Some bizarre answers here - the facts are that this child is probably under the age allowed in the gym, so shouldn’t be there. Even if under 15s are allowed to watch, they should do that sitting out of the way and should not be mucking around with equipment because a) it’s potentially dangerous b) they won’t have had the gym induction c) they haven’t paid to use the gym.

OP, mention it to reception - tell them you’re concerned for the safety of a young child who’s in the gym with an adult and is playing with and touching the machines and weights. They’ll then pass it on to the appropriate person who’ll speak to the mother.

I can read. The point is OP is saying the child is definitely 10/11 based on their appearance alone. Unless she knows the age of the child/has asked their age she hasn't a clue.

Do you know for sure the child is not yet 15, my nephew is 15 and could easily pass as an 11 year old!

Just ask the gym what the minimum age range is as you've seen a child messing around on the machines. You're a paying customer, there's no need to keep quiet or be diplomatic.

When my teenage DS finished his GCSE’s he and another friend went to the gym together 3 times a week, they mainly played squash but used some of the equipment too. An 11 year old is too young to be at the gym in my opinion and if he’s playing with the equipment I’d be concerned he’d hurt himself too.

Some of us take health and fitness very seriously, I can't recreate a 140kg deadlift or 100kg backsquat in my living room and my children are growing up seeing hard work and dedication and also getting their own love for sport.

Alternatively, they're seeing their mother wasting hours on repetitive work that produces absolutely nothing and make their own (entirely sensible) decisions never to make the same mistake.

Live and let live - the gym's insurance isn't your responsibility and there's no need to judge other people's parenting. If you need to use the equipment just....ask!

So there's a 'wine bar' that offers board games for families to come in and use. What are the families coming in and using them doing wrong exactly?

What do you mean 'repetitive work that produces absolutely nothing'?

I too am fed up with being forced to share adult events or spaces with kids all the bloody time. It ranges from friends bringing their kids to coffee meet ups so you can’t even have any kind of conversation without interruption or earwigging, or pubs and restaurants (and now gyms!) late shows of cinema with over tired kids behaving appallingly and ineffective parenting.

I never behaved like this with my ds, and it was always made clear to him that there are some spaces that are kids spaces and others that are adult spaces where adults have paid money to attend (classic performances etc) and it’s important to make sure that they can enjoy that event without interruption or interference.

That’s not a brag btw, at that time I was v poor, but ds loved music and I’d take him to see amateur and professional orchestras whenever I could afford to take him.

Yep. See my previous post. She states under 5 feet as if that is a marker of being a child.

But the kid shouldn't be there and shouldn't be on the equipment.

I too am fed up with being forced to share adult events or spaces with kids all the bloody time.

agreed.