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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child at the gym

292 replies

CosyScentedCandles · 07/01/2023 09:44

I go to a local leisure centre gym 4-5 times a week. Because it is only a leisure centre, I accept that it has to be available to meet a range of needs and part of that is that they allow kids from 15 to use the gym at specific times. This doesn’t bother me, I generally avoid the teen-gym slots and if I don’t it is usually one harmless 16 year old girl using a cross trainer.

What is really winding me up is that there is a woman who seems to regularly sneak her 10-11yo in with her so that she can work out. She plonks him on a machine or a bench and he proceeds too much about with the equipment, preventing somebody else from using it properly. Apart from the fact he his taking up room in what is a small gym, AIBU to think that some places are simply not appropriate for children and to want some time in an adults only space?

I feel like I want to complain but I don’t know 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Cruisebabe1 · 09/01/2023 15:07

dontleaveitthere · 07/01/2023 12:06

Jesus wept at the mum who takes her baby to the gym...

Show quote history

😂😂😂😂😂

fitzwilliamdarcy · 09/01/2023 16:44

Teateaandmoretea · 09/01/2023 13:56

Eh?? Thats bonkers. Pretty much every activity at a leisure centre has an age limit. The gym. Fitness classes. Kids swimming lessons.classes aimed at the elderly. Toddler gym sessions. Soft play. Adult only lane swimming...

Utter nonsensical response. Adult swimming lessons are available, relevant classes are available for all age groups at different times.

Adult only lane swimming would in fact be every bit as ridiculous as never letting kids into the gym. Leisure centres are supposed to be for all to exercise not to provide ‘adult only space’ for the convenience of one age group ….

Are you really saying that every activity provided for within the public sector has to be accessible to all age groups at all times (barring maybe an hour per week, for some reason)?

Does this mean that if my local council runs a mum and baby group, I can go even if I'm not a mum and have no baby? As I suspect the mums wouldn't welcome that.

Bobbins36 · 09/01/2023 18:01

There’s a v clear safety issue here, feel it’s a shame if the mum doesn’t have any other childcare but this just isn’t sensible. Gym insurance likely stipulates as much.

Jackburger · 09/01/2023 18:09

Flag it either to gym floor staff or mention to the Manager. They definitely would not be insured for someone that young being in the gym. I worked in a commercial gym for 15 years and we had specific age ranges and times for young people to work out. We had a family session for 8-11 yrs where parents came with kids and did an instructor-led class. 11+ had to do an induction and were then allowed in with their parents at certain times. We always got a few who tried to use the gym like a childcare facility. It’s not safe and also annoying for other members.

GUARDIAN1 · 09/01/2023 18:11

I wouldn't be happy with a six year old OR a baby in the gym. Imagine if every mum decided they wanted to take theirs with them. Paying customers would be outnumbered. Most mums don't, because they know it's not appropriate. The ones who do, I'm afraid, must have one hell of a sense of entitlement. Having said that, it's a shame more gyms don't have a crèche so they are more inclusive.

Messyhair321 · 09/01/2023 18:26

Yanbu but not for the reasons you've suggested. I feel that working out isn't something a child should need to be thinking about. Keeping fit at that age should just be fun as far as I'm concerned, not working out at a gym without any real fitness supervision, it isn't on & doesn't give a child the right message about fitness & could even lead to unforseen problems with said child

Zzzmumzzz · 09/01/2023 18:59

I totally get where you are coming from. I feel like this more and more the older I get 😂

fetchacloth · 09/01/2023 19:18

pompomdaisy · 07/01/2023 10:20

As I get in to late 50s I'm afraid I'm more irritated by these things. There's a wine bar I like to go to and it's become inundated with families bringing in small kids and sitting there with one drink all night playing board games surrounded by drunk people. I didn't do that as a parent why should I now tolerate it as an older child free person!

Absolutely agree, I feel the same. Adult environments are not really appropriate for children and children get bored and tired quickly.
My parents didn't introduce me to these environments until I was about 16.

ChillysWaterBottle · 09/01/2023 19:37

Everanewbie · 09/01/2023 14:58

If it were me I'd be surprised to see them there, and if they were in the way of some apparatus i wanted to use I'd ask them to move, or mum to move them, but I'm not sure I'd complain. I take the safety comments on board but if the child isn't in the way then I'd just crack on and ignore them. Complaining just seems a touch spiteful to me, like you shouldn't bring food to a pub but if I saw a patron eating a mars bar in the corner I wouldn't grass them up.

100%. This is exactly how I feel. Spiteful is a good word to use.

Ericaequites · 09/01/2023 19:45

The root of the problem is not teaching children how to behave in public spaces. In 1983, my parents and I laughed at the sign at a posh English hotel which stated, “Well behaved children and dogs welcome.” Children need to know the difference between indoor and outdoor behavior, and not inconvenience others.
There are spaces that are inappropriate for children, and parents should be considerate. A tween at a classical performance who could behave is not a problem IMO, but a matinee would be better.

CrazyLadie · 09/01/2023 19:54

endofthelino · 08/01/2023 09:20

This.

You have no idea what her circumstances are. She may be a single parent who has no support and cannot get out without taking her child with her. The impact of not being able to go to the gym could be massive on her. The impact on you of saying, ' Could you move whilst I use this machine?' next to none existant.

Show quote history

That's the joys of being a parent, life changes and yer child comes first every single time, this often leads to the parent not being able to do what they choose but they made that initial choice when they choose to have a child. My son has started secondary and can now be left for an hour so I can go to the gym, wouldn't think of having him sit in the actual gym annoying others

Chevybaby · 09/01/2023 20:45

Single mum here and I am actually laughing at how many “her childcare problems are not my concern” comments there are on Mumsnet! Lol the one place in the planet one might hope for a little empathy in this particular area 🙈

Also can’t help eye rolling a bit at the “exercise at home” brigade too. There is no amount of lunges and side shuffles in my tiny living room that’ll keep these jigglin jowls at bay…I need a gym! But because I have lots of friends nearby it’s not so hard to grab an hour here or there to go jump on the treadmill.This woman might not be so lucky and I really feel for her if that’s her situation.

Every gym I’ve ever been to there is someone closely guarding the door so unless she is smuggling him in inside a duffel bag I imagine the staff are letting it slide so I don’t see why you can’t too. Focus on your gains and form, let this woman work on her physical and or mental health in peace. I definitely wouldn’t be shy about telling the kid to get off the machines though. He should be on a bench reading a book.

Scalottia · 09/01/2023 21:11

Chevybaby · 09/01/2023 20:45

Single mum here and I am actually laughing at how many “her childcare problems are not my concern” comments there are on Mumsnet! Lol the one place in the planet one might hope for a little empathy in this particular area 🙈

Also can’t help eye rolling a bit at the “exercise at home” brigade too. There is no amount of lunges and side shuffles in my tiny living room that’ll keep these jigglin jowls at bay…I need a gym! But because I have lots of friends nearby it’s not so hard to grab an hour here or there to go jump on the treadmill.This woman might not be so lucky and I really feel for her if that’s her situation.

Every gym I’ve ever been to there is someone closely guarding the door so unless she is smuggling him in inside a duffel bag I imagine the staff are letting it slide so I don’t see why you can’t too. Focus on your gains and form, let this woman work on her physical and or mental health in peace. I definitely wouldn’t be shy about telling the kid to get off the machines though. He should be on a bench reading a book.

As per the rules of that gym, he shouldn't be there at all. Parents, please do other parents a favour and stop being so entitled when it comes to your children.

whumpthereitis · 09/01/2023 21:32

Chevybaby · 09/01/2023 20:45

Single mum here and I am actually laughing at how many “her childcare problems are not my concern” comments there are on Mumsnet! Lol the one place in the planet one might hope for a little empathy in this particular area 🙈

Also can’t help eye rolling a bit at the “exercise at home” brigade too. There is no amount of lunges and side shuffles in my tiny living room that’ll keep these jigglin jowls at bay…I need a gym! But because I have lots of friends nearby it’s not so hard to grab an hour here or there to go jump on the treadmill.This woman might not be so lucky and I really feel for her if that’s her situation.

Every gym I’ve ever been to there is someone closely guarding the door so unless she is smuggling him in inside a duffel bag I imagine the staff are letting it slide so I don’t see why you can’t too. Focus on your gains and form, let this woman work on her physical and or mental health in peace. I definitely wouldn’t be shy about telling the kid to get off the machines though. He should be on a bench reading a book.

Why? It literally isn’t anyone else’s problem. All the excuses in the world don’t change the fact that it’s an adults only gym, and the kid shouldn’t be there at all.

He especially shouldn’t be there dicking around on the machines, for his own sake.

ArchibaldsDaddy · 09/01/2023 21:33

So…my gym allows kids in from 11 and I take my son.

However, he does work on the cross trainer and does (light) weights with me.

So, if it’s within the rules of the gym, it’s not unreasonable…but if they’re just sitting around not using the equipment, that’s not on.

However, you might find a polite ‘could I use this equipment please?’ might just do the trick

Grrrrdarling · 10/01/2023 07:47

CosyScentedCandles · 07/01/2023 09:44

I go to a local leisure centre gym 4-5 times a week. Because it is only a leisure centre, I accept that it has to be available to meet a range of needs and part of that is that they allow kids from 15 to use the gym at specific times. This doesn’t bother me, I generally avoid the teen-gym slots and if I don’t it is usually one harmless 16 year old girl using a cross trainer.

What is really winding me up is that there is a woman who seems to regularly sneak her 10-11yo in with her so that she can work out. She plonks him on a machine or a bench and he proceeds too much about with the equipment, preventing somebody else from using it properly. Apart from the fact he his taking up room in what is a small gym, AIBU to think that some places are simply not appropriate for children and to want some time in an adults only space?

I feel like I want to complain but I don’t know 🤷🏼‍♀️

Speak to the gym staff. Insurance alone will not allow this so they are putting themselves at risk allowing it. Kid shouldn’t be touch equipment either let alone sitting in or ‘playing’ with it!

Hmm1234 · 10/01/2023 09:08

Complain but offer to do her babysitting also so she can get her workouts in

fitzwilliamdarcy · 10/01/2023 09:17

Hmm1234 · 10/01/2023 09:08

Complain but offer to do her babysitting also so she can get her workouts in

This cannot be serious.

redskydelight · 10/01/2023 09:56

Single mum here and I am actually laughing at how many “her childcare problems are not my concern” comments there are on Mumsnet! Lol the one place in the planet one might hope for a little empathy in this particular area

The answer to childcare problems is not to just not bother and just carry on without it. Going to the gym is not a necessity. When my DC were small I managed with hand weights at home when they were in bed and, when they were older, exercising round them while they were in the playground. If the child in the gym is 11, he can be left at home for an hour or so while mum exercises with no need for childcare at all.
If the gym allows children of this age then he needs to be supervised or at least asked to move out the way and stop messing about.

(See also - I can't afford childcare. Is it ok for me to work full time whilst caring for my 2 year old?)

NoNewsIsGoodNews · 10/01/2023 10:08

I find it odd that people are so black and white about gyms being the Only Way to exercise. I wonder how people without membership ever get fit and healthy…

anomaly23 · 10/01/2023 10:14

My local gym takes kids from 12 so there are loads of kids in but they're on the machines and not just hanging around.

NattyNatashia · 10/01/2023 10:16

There seem to be two things.

As others have said, it 'may be' there are safety/insurance issues. The gym should have rules/terms published. Some gyms allow children if supervised. If not I think it's reasonable to query it.

However, that's not the real reason is it. You haven't stated whether the equipment the child is sitting on is actually something you want to use. If it is, and they're not using it for exercise, how about just say excuse me can I use that?

TheOrigRights · 10/01/2023 10:32

The OP's gym does not allow children under 15.
Posters telling us their gym allows kids under 15, or has childcare facilities or whatever is moot.

The 11 year old in the OP should not be there. End of.

Lollipopsicle · 10/01/2023 10:45

kisaki333 · 07/01/2023 11:48

Did you consider the woman maybe can't get childcare or can't afford it? In which case this is the only way she can work out?
Just leave them be, it's none of your business and just use another machine in the meantime. Not to mention most machines are useless anyways, use barbells if you want to see progress ...

She doesn't need to drag her child along to the gym to workout though does she? Plenty of options for her to work out at home - loads of videos on YouTube etc. I didn't drag my kids along to inappropriate places for them when they were little, but I coped and there certainly wasn't any YouTube or other SM options to help me back then.

kierenthecommunity · 10/01/2023 13:51

rainbowandglitter · 07/01/2023 13:26

Are you sure he's not 15? Some children look very young for their age.

I take my 12 yo (just turned 13 actually). I'm a powerlifter and go to a powerlifting gym so he does exactly what I do but with lighter weight. I spoke to the gym owner and he's happy for him to come in. He does not mess about or make any noise at all. He's actually quieter than some of the powerlifters in thereGrin

Presumably if it’s a short young looking 15 year old, he’d be working out on the equipment not messing about?

Our gym allows supervised 10-15 year olds but to use the gym facilities not just sit about being annoying