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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child at the gym

292 replies

CosyScentedCandles · 07/01/2023 09:44

I go to a local leisure centre gym 4-5 times a week. Because it is only a leisure centre, I accept that it has to be available to meet a range of needs and part of that is that they allow kids from 15 to use the gym at specific times. This doesn’t bother me, I generally avoid the teen-gym slots and if I don’t it is usually one harmless 16 year old girl using a cross trainer.

What is really winding me up is that there is a woman who seems to regularly sneak her 10-11yo in with her so that she can work out. She plonks him on a machine or a bench and he proceeds too much about with the equipment, preventing somebody else from using it properly. Apart from the fact he his taking up room in what is a small gym, AIBU to think that some places are simply not appropriate for children and to want some time in an adults only space?

I feel like I want to complain but I don’t know 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Grapewrath · 07/01/2023 13:30

When my kids were little I had no child care or family to help. I wouldn’t have dreamed of going about my life and bringing them with me to places that aren’t suitable. I worked out at home. Some people are extremely entitled.
Id complain OP. She’s putting her child at risk if he fucks about with the machines and is also risking the gym’s insurance

SavoirFlair · 07/01/2023 13:37

rainbowandglitter · 07/01/2023 13:26

Are you sure he's not 15? Some children look very young for their age.

I take my 12 yo (just turned 13 actually). I'm a powerlifter and go to a powerlifting gym so he does exactly what I do but with lighter weight. I spoke to the gym owner and he's happy for him to come in. He does not mess about or make any noise at all. He's actually quieter than some of the powerlifters in thereGrin

This is absurd and typical Mumsnet. Question the OP because it could not possibly be the case that the person in the OP’s story is a CF and her child is underage

Yarrawonga · 07/01/2023 13:41

My gym isn’t considered an adults only space. There's a dedicated area in it for children to sit while their parents exercise. They don’t use the equipment.

Original poster
CosyScentedCandles · 07/01/2023 13:43

@rainbowandglitter @SavoirFlair he is definitely no older than 11. Very small (less than 5ft) and clearly not started puberty yet.

OP posts:
Allschoolsareartschools · 07/01/2023 13:43

dontleaveitthere · 07/01/2023 12:22

Thanks for the riveting anecdote about your gym. Surprised you can't see how it's different to the ops gym. Children aren't allowed.

You're the reason gym goers get hate. This weird holier than thou attitude.

If you were truly athletic you'd support and encourage people to do whatever exercise they could. And appreciate sometimes it won't be the full on gym session you deem worthy.

Boring. Honestly. Oh so fucking boring.

Anyway op. As kids aren't allowed yes raise it. If nothing else I'm sure it's against their insurance

Show quote history

Oh yes yes to this, very well said.

Dreamsoffreedomjoyandpeace · 07/01/2023 13:45

fitzwilliamdarcy · 07/01/2023 12:17

the slightest tiniest inconvenience for them and they are ready to potentially really hurt someone else.

The person risking really hurting someone else is the mother. The child shouldn’t be in there and could injure themself on a machine. The rules aren’t there for no reason.

And nobody is “really hurt” by having to refrain from the gym if they can’t get a babysitter.

Well what if she’s seriously depressed and this gym session is keeping her going?

Honestly, a normal person would barely notice something like this. It just isn’t a big deal at all.

OriginalUsername2 · 07/01/2023 13:47

Just have a word with reception and let them decide.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 07/01/2023 13:54

Well what if she’s seriously depressed and this gym session is keeping her going?

That’s very unfortunate (I’ve been there myself) but it’s not a justification for putting your child at risk. The gym session is not the only way to get exercise, and it may be that there are other gyms that would allow this - meaning she doesn’t have to break the rules to do it. God forbid there’s an accident or a machine is broken, I don’t think the gym’s insurer is going to give a fig that mum is very depressed.

All this whatabouttery is neither here nor there because at the end of the day if kids aren’t allowed then they’re not allowed. Mum is in the wrong and gym needs to be made aware.

SavoirFlair · 07/01/2023 14:00

fitzwilliamdarcy · 07/01/2023 13:54

Well what if she’s seriously depressed and this gym session is keeping her going?

That’s very unfortunate (I’ve been there myself) but it’s not a justification for putting your child at risk. The gym session is not the only way to get exercise, and it may be that there are other gyms that would allow this - meaning she doesn’t have to break the rules to do it. God forbid there’s an accident or a machine is broken, I don’t think the gym’s insurer is going to give a fig that mum is very depressed.

All this whatabouttery is neither here nor there because at the end of the day if kids aren’t allowed then they’re not allowed. Mum is in the wrong and gym needs to be made aware.

I completely agree with this post and am fed up with the endless whatabouttery in threads like this.

If she’s depressed and the gym is making her happy; fine. But she’ll be a lot more depressed when her son drops a weight on his foot. Yeah - it can happen. It really can.

CrazyCatLadyCat · 08/01/2023 08:31

What a nasty and judgemental comment!!

CrazyCatLadyCat · 08/01/2023 08:35

That was meant to be a reply to a comment about people being lazy

lifeinthehills · 08/01/2023 08:56

I wouldn't say anything if the kid wasn't getting in my way and interfering with my workout. If he was, I would. It's not my responsibility if the kid gets hurt. That's on the mother and the management who don't put a stop to it.

There are gyms with childcare available. I'm sure she could arrange to drop her kid there if she can't leave him alone, even if he's older. I would never have taken my kid to the gym. I couldn't use the treadmill at home because I was worried about little fingers getting in the belt. I made do and loaded up my kids and went walking. Often that was at kid pace but it was still a good walk all up. We just need to adapt. Dancing with kids is a good workout, running arouond playing tag. Incidental exercise is worth a lot.

BorderlineBagpuss · 08/01/2023 09:07

I’m so shocked at the number of harsh replies….just ask the kid to move. It might be the only way the woman can work out…leave the house… people are so hard nowadays..

Beety3ly · 08/01/2023 09:08

I'd love to be able to go to they gym but as a mum of 4 children.. I can't so I workout at home. Definitely she has other options. I certainly wouldn't let my kids muck about on the equipment. YANBU report it.

LuciferRising · 08/01/2023 09:14

I had someone complain about me using the gym. I was in my 20s. Under 5 foot. I knew I was being watched by a woman. Shortly after a member of staff asked my age and who I was there with.

AllOfThemWitches · 08/01/2023 09:17

pompomdaisy · 07/01/2023 10:20

As I get in to late 50s I'm afraid I'm more irritated by these things. There's a wine bar I like to go to and it's become inundated with families bringing in small kids and sitting there with one drink all night playing board games surrounded by drunk people. I didn't do that as a parent why should I now tolerate it as an older child free person!

Well, I'm gonna be that person and ask what did the staff say when you made your complaint to them?

MagpiePi · 08/01/2023 09:18

...my children are growing up seeing hard work and dedication and also getting their own love for sport.

I would bet my house that your 6 year old is bored shitless and the way to get hime to love sport is to let him do some himself.

KatesLipGloss · 08/01/2023 09:18

I'd raise it with management.

I have no problem with adult-sized teens being at the teen-friendly sessions, assuming they were actually working out.

A pre-pubescent child just hanging round should be sent to wait outside - in the cafe (if there is one) or reception area.

Sennelier1 · 08/01/2023 09:19

I would first say something to the mother, if she doesn't act upon it then go and tell the person responsible for the gym. As mentioned there would be no insurance for the child if anything happens, not only physically but also if the child breaks anything in the gym. And I agree the mother maybe doesn't have a sitter, but she could bring a bag with some entertainment for her child and sit him close to (or in a corner of) the gym while she works out.

borntobequiet · 08/01/2023 09:19

I was annoyed when a couple brought their daughters (aged maybe 10 and 12) in to the gym with them, plonked themselves on the exercise bikes to pedal very slowly while playing on their phones and left the children to roam free on the other machines. At one point I had to instruct the older child as to how to use a machine safely.
Eventually the father wandered over and I told him what I thought of his irresponsible parenting. He didn’t like it.

HandbagsnGladrags · 08/01/2023 09:19

kisaki333 · 07/01/2023 11:48

Did you consider the woman maybe can't get childcare or can't afford it? In which case this is the only way she can work out?
Just leave them be, it's none of your business and just use another machine in the meantime. Not to mention most machines are useless anyways, use barbells if you want to see progress ...

Not the OP's problem. I'd complain as well. Bloody hate kids in gyms. And pubs.

MagpiePi · 08/01/2023 09:20

I would think that whatever the mother's state of mental health or lack of childcare arrangements, she is breaking the gym's age policy and invalidating their insurance.

I would have a word with the staff.

Yesiamtiredactually · 08/01/2023 09:20

Grapewrath · 07/01/2023 13:30

When my kids were little I had no child care or family to help. I wouldn’t have dreamed of going about my life and bringing them with me to places that aren’t suitable. I worked out at home. Some people are extremely entitled.
Id complain OP. She’s putting her child at risk if he fucks about with the machines and is also risking the gym’s insurance

100% this! There are reasons places like gyms have age restrictions, and the points people have made about insurance implications are very valid. Imagine being the person investigating if the child (god forbid) injured themselves and finding out what’s been going on!

I do wish that people wouldn’t leap on posts like this to brag about how healthy they are and how together their lives are. I’m not sure who you’re trying to convince, you or us, but I don’t think you’re convincing either!

I would absolutely report the child messing about with the equipment to the gym management, and let them do what they wish with the information, that way they can work backwards and realise there’s a child there who isn’t being supervised properly and then who’s child they are etc

endofthelino · 08/01/2023 09:20

takealettermsjones · 07/01/2023 10:24

I'd wind my neck in personally 🤷🏻‍♀️ if he's on equipment you want to use though, ask him to move.

This.

You have no idea what her circumstances are. She may be a single parent who has no support and cannot get out without taking her child with her. The impact of not being able to go to the gym could be massive on her. The impact on you of saying, ' Could you move whilst I use this machine?' next to none existant.

Wanderingowl · 08/01/2023 09:24

saleorbouy · 07/01/2023 11:20

Why complain, just politely ask the child if they would move off the gym equipment you need to use for your workout.
Perhaps this is his mother's only way of working out and maybe the child is unaware that they are in the way unless you let them know.

Why would it be the mother's only way of working out? I'm a single mother and I work out all the time at home. I have weights, basic calisthenic equipment and means to do both intense and steady state cardio all in my house. And while I'm not short on space, most of it fits in one small cupboard when not in use. I work out extremely hard at home and have also figured out numerous ways to work out, outside of the home with my DS in ways that are appropriate, ie, we are in classes and clubs where children and adults can work out at the same time in the same building.

There are some groups I'd love to attend but can't right now because I would never take him somewhere unsuitable. Because it would be unfair on other people and him.