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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child at the gym

292 replies

CosyScentedCandles · 07/01/2023 09:44

I go to a local leisure centre gym 4-5 times a week. Because it is only a leisure centre, I accept that it has to be available to meet a range of needs and part of that is that they allow kids from 15 to use the gym at specific times. This doesn’t bother me, I generally avoid the teen-gym slots and if I don’t it is usually one harmless 16 year old girl using a cross trainer.

What is really winding me up is that there is a woman who seems to regularly sneak her 10-11yo in with her so that she can work out. She plonks him on a machine or a bench and he proceeds too much about with the equipment, preventing somebody else from using it properly. Apart from the fact he his taking up room in what is a small gym, AIBU to think that some places are simply not appropriate for children and to want some time in an adults only space?

I feel like I want to complain but I don’t know 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth · 07/01/2023 12:36

HeyBlaby · 07/01/2023 12:11

Honestly, you all sound like you don't participate in any sport seriously and want excuses for laziness and poor health, each to their own!

That's just really fucking rude.

You take your kids into what is an adult only area for good reason, long standing SOP and say "Hey fat lazy bitches, I am doing fitness properly so my kids can come in".

Nasty judgemental streak you are showing there!

BootifulLoser · 07/01/2023 12:37

Have a quiet word with the gym manager and hopefully he/she will see to it.
(Although presumably the staff know he is there unless the mum sneaks him in under a blanket!)
I agree it's not on at any time, let alone when there are multiple viruses circulating.

LizzieVereker · 07/01/2023 12:38

QueSyrahSyrah · 07/01/2023 12:31

I might raise an eyebrow but I couldn't get nearly as riled up as some PPs seem to be about this.

If he's sitting on a piece of equipment that you want to use then ask him to move, just as you would if an adult were sitting there on their phone.

He moves, you use equipment, everyone gets on with their day.

If he doesn't move, then you complain to the gym operators (I can't imagine they have no idea this is happening? How does she sneak him past reception? Most leisure centres have some sort of CCTV?).

The insurance issue is the gym owner and the parents issue to worry about, nobody else's.

Good for you.

if it’s a 16+ gym though, it’s not that simple is it? Not everyone feels comfortable asking someone else’s child to move because some parents are so aggressive. I politely and kindly asked a 12 year old ish girl to stop repeatedly kicking my chair and elbowing me in a waiting room yesterday, and her mother reacted as if I’d just accused her or murder.

Back to the gym though, why should people have to consider a child in an adults’ only space? What if people want to swear or discuss their relationships? What if like me you work with 100s of young people in your local area and really really really don’t want one of them watching you work out?

Bedazzled22 · 07/01/2023 12:38

I’d complain as he could hurt himself on the equipment. Its an insurance risk!

fitzwilliamdarcy · 07/01/2023 12:38

@redskydelight Now I’m thinking of poor Mr Banks in Mary Poppins and how wrongly that logic turned out for him… 😂

rookiemere · 07/01/2023 12:39

I'd complain to the gym manager, you can couch it under worrying about the poor cherub hurting themselves on the machines, if you don't want to appear stroppy.

A NT 10-11 year old should be ok to be home alone for an hour or so, whilst DM does a work out.

BootifulLoser · 07/01/2023 12:40

@HeyBlaby are you that woman who was notorious for putting her baby in its pram in the middle of a track and then running around and around it?

PurplePixies · 07/01/2023 12:41

HeyBlaby · 07/01/2023 12:11

Honestly, you all sound like you don't participate in any sport seriously and want excuses for laziness and poor health, each to their own!

No wonder it’s not very busy!

You sound very self absorbed if you genuinely think other people aren’t put off attending an adult gym with parents like you turning up with babies and young children in tow.

I take one look at that set up and walk out.

SavoirFlair · 07/01/2023 12:41

Some of the people on here justifying the behaviour are hilarious. Accusing people of not having a “strong work ethic” … wtf?

this is a safety issue. Not a moral issue, not a lifestyle issue.

SAFETY.

Whotsit · 07/01/2023 12:43

Our gym caters for kids aged 11 plus. They are allowed on all equipment except free weights. I think this is positive, good for kids to be moving and introduced to the gym

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 07/01/2023 12:46

HeyBlaby · 07/01/2023 12:11

Honestly, you all sound like you don't participate in any sport seriously and want excuses for laziness and poor health, each to their own!

I go to the gym several times a week and if a child was there, I'd complain and get him removed. A gym is not childcare, it's no one's problem if a mother cannot get childcare, tough luck.

saraclara · 07/01/2023 12:47

At my leisure centre gym, there are comfy chairs just outside the gym (and visible through the glass doors) so people accompanying gym goers can sit there.
The child really shouldn't be touching any of the equipment. If there is somewhere he can sit and play on a tablet, then fine. But the staff should not allow him where there's equipment, still less play about with it.

unc79 · 07/01/2023 12:48

Our gym allows 12+, supervised for all times, or unsupervised at specific child/teen slots.

Scalottia · 07/01/2023 12:49

HeyBlaby · 07/01/2023 12:11

Honestly, you all sound like you don't participate in any sport seriously and want excuses for laziness and poor health, each to their own!

You sound quite offended that people don't want to work out in exactly the same way as you do. Newsflash, there are hundreds of different ways to keep fit and lots of different sports. Luckily for me, my sport choices don't involve having to tolerate your children's presence.

I am sure that with such an entitled mother that they will grow up with a wonderful 'me-first' attitude. Poor kids - what a great contribution to the world.

TabithaTittlemouse · 07/01/2023 12:49

HeyBlaby · 07/01/2023 12:11

Honestly, you all sound like you don't participate in any sport seriously and want excuses for laziness and poor health, each to their own!

😂 oh! You are THAT person. Have a word with yourself.

TabithaTittlemouse · 07/01/2023 12:50

@CosyScentedCandles I would inform the staff.

itsgettingweird · 07/01/2023 12:51

I'd complain too.

It's all very well saying "it's just this one person".

But if allowed how long before the next person thinks "my kids only another one" and the numbers keep creeping up.

At that age they can stay home or sit in the cafe and wait.

TheOrigRights · 07/01/2023 12:52

@HeyBlaby So you take your children to a gym which allows children to be present.
What then is your contribution to the situation the OP is describing (in which she states it's a gym for over 15s)?
I find your tone very patronising.

fruitstick · 07/01/2023 12:54

HeyBlaby · 07/01/2023 12:16

And the 'relaxation at the gym' bit. This is a weightlifting gym, not a country club with a bloody sauna and jacuzzi, of course I wouldn't be showing up with her at a nice posh place where people are intending for quiet and relaxation, the gyms I go to are rough and ready...

Do you not think people at a weightlifting gym also go for relaxation?

Not everyone's idea of relaxation is a spa day. And just because it's not doesn't mean they shouldn't be entitled to it.

QueSyrahSyrah · 07/01/2023 13:04

I think there's a big disconnect in comments here between the age people are allowed to USE the gym, and that this child is sitting waiting for his Mum while SHE uses the gym.

Presumably he's not racking weights or seeing how fast he can go on the treadmill? He's just sitting on a bench, which is mildly annoying for someone wanting to use that bench.

Children are widely accepted in pubs which are arguably equally adult environments, and certainly model less healthy adult behaviours than the gym does.

MsMartini · 07/01/2023 13:10

If the rules are that children his age should not be there, then he isn't necessarily safe and it should be reported. An environment with children in is set up differently, with extra safeguarding procedures and supervision. It also isn't fair on other users who have chosen an adult space to train in. If he got injured or upset, other people could be implicated. It isn't about liking or disliking children - I volunteer with children and mostly choose to exercise in adult-only set-ups.

Barton10 · 07/01/2023 13:10

This drives me mad at the gym! I’m sorry but if you have no childcare you can’t go. It was usually men doing this at my gym with 6 or 7 year olds who were wandering round and sitting on equipment stopping others using it. Aside from anything else there is a risk of the children getting seriously hurt.

Original poster
CosyScentedCandles · 07/01/2023 13:12

QueSyrahSyrah · 07/01/2023 13:04

I think there's a big disconnect in comments here between the age people are allowed to USE the gym, and that this child is sitting waiting for his Mum while SHE uses the gym.

Presumably he's not racking weights or seeing how fast he can go on the treadmill? He's just sitting on a bench, which is mildly annoying for someone wanting to use that bench.

Children are widely accepted in pubs which are arguably equally adult environments, and certainly model less healthy adult behaviours than the gym does.

He’s not just sitting there. He’s dicking around with the lighter free weights and treating the machines like they are

OP posts:
Original poster
CosyScentedCandles · 07/01/2023 13:13

@QueSyrahSyrah posted too soon…

like they are play equipment 😑

OP posts:
rainbowandglitter · 07/01/2023 13:26

Are you sure he's not 15? Some children look very young for their age.

I take my 12 yo (just turned 13 actually). I'm a powerlifter and go to a powerlifting gym so he does exactly what I do but with lighter weight. I spoke to the gym owner and he's happy for him to come in. He does not mess about or make any noise at all. He's actually quieter than some of the powerlifters in thereGrin