To not want to stay with partner's friends?

[Ididnthityouharold]

Nothing at all against them, I mean I've only ever met them twice in nearly 3 years, but they seem nice. The man is a long-term friend of my partner's. They have offered us an open invitation to stay in their spare room for a couple of days.
Honestly I couldn't think of anything worse, it's nothing to do with them. But I'm terribly introverted and quiet and the thought of having to spend all that time with people I barely know makes me feel sick.
I don't really like staying at other people's houses (it's different when I stay at my family's as I can be myself) so generally I don't stay anywhere else apart from there or my partner's parents', I'd much rather get a hotel. I am so glad we don't have a spare room as I hate having people to stay too.
I probably sound really miserable but that's how I am.
Anyway aibu to decline this invitation? Not really sure what excuse I could give? don't want to lie, but what can I say except, I don't want to really?
Obviously my partner should still go by himself.
Maybe I could arrive in the evening late, sleep and leave early in the morning, but no more than that.

I think people are believing that I'm preventing my partner from doing anything and that's not true at all, luckily. If we were to have a spare room in the future then I can't stop him inviting people to stay. I'd just make sure to go out for some of the time if it became too much

It's just that it makes zero difference to us. He doesn't need me to be there all the time. When we visit his family I do stay there a couple of days, it's different as I know them very well I guess. But I'm always ready to leave at the end. We're all different.

You’ve started with sayiny you would arrive, sleep and leave first thing.

then you said you’d spent a night.

then it became a night and an evening.

now it’s a day and a night that you’re happy with? Yet only one hour of conversation is all you can manage?

I also think YABU.

I'd like to think people have choice and boundaries

Translation: “I’ll be as selfish as I jolly well want, and everyone else can lump it.”

Yep.. I'm terribly selfish 😃

I would not want to spend a couple/few days at someone's house who I didn't know well either.

It sounds like your partner is happy with your compromise of staying one night, then leaving him to stay longer.

You and your husband could also stay in a hotel room if you can afford it, and visit the friends for a while each day.

It sounds fine to me.

You could practise conversation. That’s not new advice: Jane Austen has Elizabeth Bennett giving it to Mr Darcy!

Thank you for not calling me selfish 😂

I totally get where you're coming from, op.

We stay with DH's family from time to time and it's absolutely draining. And that's only one night!

I wonder why you started this thread. You are obviously finding it hard to deal with the fact that most respondents think that you are being unreasonable.

So can I ask why you are asking a question here? Are you actually asking a question?

you don’t want to stay with them, you say your partner is fine with this…what’s the problem?

I'm just looking for opinions really.
I'm not finding it hard, I'm more bemused/amused.
All sorts of threads on here about it!

We’ll then don’t argue with the opinions given! If this is something you’re comfortable with then own it. With your partner and those that invited you.

Totally understand OP. I can't think of anyone I would stay with for any length of time, or have anyone stay over (we have the room). It's just how some people are. My husband is the same. We've been happily married for 25 years. We both like our own space.

YANBU. I feel like that even with family sometimes! Love them to bits, but it's draining. Your compromise sounds fine!

I understand the anxiety aspect of it tbh. Maybe just spend one day with them then go home.

I totally understand and I am similar, I’m an introvert and panic when I don’t have a place to go do relax. Socialising is so draining even with family and when I’m enjoying it. It seems on here that if you’re an introvert then you are weird and need to be cured.

I’m the same as you. I don’t want to stay at anyone’s house. I need my own space. It’s exhausting having to be ‘on’ for a whole weekend, absolutely draining, however nice people are.

i totally get it. People calling you selfish don’t understand the stress of being swamped in someone else’s home, and the discomfort that brings. I used to be ok with it, but I’m too old for it now.

Why the thread then?

I've been called controlling and selfish and that my partner needs to decide if he wants to live his life this way 😂 I didn't expect everyone to agree with me,I know how it goes on here though. "OP didn't agree with the answers so now she's stroppy/defensive/argumentative."
Basically, you're expected to nod along with and agree with every reply you receive.
There are a few who don't agree but manage to be respectful about it.

Are they far away?
I’d stay 1 night too.

They're about 2 hours away I think. I'm feeling a bit less alone now which is good. I might not even be able to get the time off work anyway!

The thread was more to wonder what I'd say to them, as not everyone understands these sorts of things with introverted people.

I also wonder why you asked, if you think it's so reasonable, and not any kind of issue for you or your partner.

You must have some reservations or concerns to have made the OP, surely? Yet now you're adamant that it's fine all round.

Cross posted with your explanation